Everyone should have a friend like this - Coming out to my first person

I did it! I came out to my first person! I came out to my friend who is also my roommate. I know she has gay friends so I figured she was a very safe way of dipping my toe into trying to come out. I was right. She could not have been more amazingly supportive. We ended up talking and drinking for about four hours. Here are the highlights.

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So I started by having one drink to build up a little courage and then just basically blurted out that the crush she'd been giving me advice on was a girl, not a guy like I'd told her. She didn't even miss a beat and said, "I'm cool with that." I followed that up with, "I think I'm gay. I'm gay." It was the first time I'd said those words out loud. The very first. I hadn't managed to get them out of my mouth before. Then I felt so relieved I just kind of fell over laughing. I had been sitting on her bed, so now I was in my roommate's room, telling her I'm gay, and drunkeningly draped across her bed. THAT thought struck me so funny I pointed it out, and then we both had a good laugh.

Then her first follow up is, "We need to do research!" and she turns to her computer.

I stammered out "I know how it WORKS!" every sort of embarrassed. :lol:

"Bars. We need to find some gay bars! I'll be your wing man. We'll find you a hot girl. I've never been a wing-man in a gay bar before, but it seems like it would be the same thing. I'll figure it out. What's your type?"

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So then after doing bar research and deciding on two other friends I can come out to that would be willing to come to the bar with us, I asked her if she'd be willing to come to same sex swing dance lessons with me. The lessons aren't only for gay women. They're open to anyone who is accepting. My friend was TOTALLY on board. "Oh that sounds fun. I'm a good lead!"

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"So what girls do you think are attractive?"

(Googling ensues and I show her some pictures.)

"Really? You like scrawny girls! If I dated a girl she'd have to be curvy."

Then I admitted to thinking one of her very straight friends is very hot.

"Oh she's having a party this weekend! You should come with me!"

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I asked her if she had known I was gay or if she suspected.

"Well, you haven't dated a man in the seven years I've known you, so I guess the thought had passed through my mind, but I decided to take you at your word. You said you were straight so that's what we went with."

I don't know why, but I feel like that right there is the sweetest thing anyone has said to me.

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I wish everyone could have a friend like this, and that eveyone's first coming out what this wonderfully supportive. I don't think I'm ready to go to bars or swing dancing or to tell anyone else yet really, but from now on I can talk to my friend about this and I already feel better. She even thought the stories of me acting like in idiot around my crush were awkwardly cute. I believe she said 'endearing.' Heh.

 

I didn't have courage; I had alcohol. :lol:

 

I put up with the fact that she never does her dishes. :icon_wink

Really though she's amazing! I'm sorry I was ever nervous about talking to her.