worst coming out feeling ever

People have all different kinds of feelings when they are first coming out--and it's not always related at all to how people react. Sometimes, the first time someone comes out, they feel sort of sick afterwards, in fact, even if it goes well. Usually it's a good feeling, though--but obviously not when people are reacting badly.

But as time goes on it is much healthier and less stressful for you to be out.

 

I've had mixed emotions after coming out to some one. When I came out to my therapist, it was a whole week of freaking out. Mainly because I knew I was going to have to discuss this, and I hadn't discussed it with anyone ever before.

I had a similar reaction when I came out to my best friend...only because I didn't know how things would be after. I've since seen her a few times, and things seem okay.

As for my most recent experience, I came out to my parents on Monday, and it was splendidly...and I actually feel really at peace with it.

I think that by your friend asking if you were sure...and if it was a phase...made you doubt yourself and made it hard to feel good after. Don't doubt yourself based on someone else's reaction. You know yourself best. And, if you're attracted to both men and women, you're attracted to them...and it's not a phase...and you are as sure as you are right now. Be confident that what you're feeling is okay and correct, and that you don't have to defend this to anyone.

(*hug*)

 

If you're being an idiot, so am I. I came out to someone for the first time in over a year today and it felt like I was lying too. Thinking that you're lying to yourself is one thing, but "lying" to someone else about it feels so wrong to me. We were discussing some female characters on a television show and I asked him what he thought about one I prefer one way or another. This is how the conversation turned:

Me: Well, I wouldn't because she's a girl.
Acquaintance: ... You bat for the other side?
My mind: No you don't. Don't kid yourself and don't kid him.
Me: I'm not batting for either side now.
(By "now", I meant "so far" rather than "as of this moment", but I wasn't feeling articulate.)

I didn't catch what he said after that. I felt awkward and maybe that made him feel awkward in turn. Which made me feel worse still.

 

Same thing happened to me. The first time I came out was to my now-best friend. And back then we weren't really close so when I told her, I expected this huge weight to be lifted off my shoulders or to be filled with joy or something. In the end nothing happened, i felt exactly the same. One thing I did notice though is that when I told my sister, who I'm extremely close to, I felt amazing. I actually started crying of happiness because she reacted so well. However the next few days I felt sick. I don't know why, I think I felt exposed or I felt that she would change her mind but in the end nothing changed either. So Im not saying this will happen to you, but you might react differently depending on how close you are to the person.

 

Yea, I think the whole rush/relief of telling someone comes from actually being scared about how a person is going to respond. If the person you tell isn't very close it wouldn't affect you too bad if they reacted badly. do you know if your best friend Is accepting of LGBT people?

 

I felt the exact same thing as well. I wanted to crawl back into my closet after telling the first person I came out to. I wanted to take it all back, and pretend it had never happened. But now that I've told my family and some friends, it feels better. I feel like I don't have to hide, like I'm not apologizing for who I am.

 

I am the same feelings like you I am bi too and dont know what to do or how to come out because nobody will take me seriously i dont know why i fell like I am hiding that i am gay and covering up by saying im bi

 

I know just what you mean about doubting yourself, it can be tough when your sexuality falls somewhere in the middle. One of the main reasons for this is that sexuality is fluid and more so (I think) for bi/pansexual people than for gay or straight people because our sexuality is already less rigid. I personally will go through periods where all I'll think about is ladies and then the next week I could be all about guys, or somewhere in the middle. It can be very confusing, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to accept that your attraction will almost never be a 50/50 split and just trust in your own judgement

 

I can relate. When I came out to my cousin I thought that all my bottled up feelings would get lifted off my shoulders, but instead I felt like I got myself wrong or that it was to early to come out. Some of my bottled up feelings did go away, but I just didn't feel much better. But that was when I was 13 (we are really close). Anyway, this is your thread and as far as I know, it'll get better, slowly. Good luck!

 

When you come out as bi or trans, it's basically presumed that you're pretending or full of shit, so that kind of a response, while extremely morally problematic, is not uncommon. I'm sorry your friend responded like that, and that's probably why it was not a good experience for you.

 

That happened to me too. People on EC said that it was probably because I had told my mother, but since then I've come out to some other people and felt the same, (although a little less bad each time.)

 

Its so hard to be accepting to my self

 

telling mum&Dad felt crap but unfortunately I had to tell them because the people who already knew I didnt trust anymore so I did it myself .