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I came out to my 1st friend today.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by June Cleaver, Feb 20, 2013.

  1. June Cleaver

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    Well I did it! I came out to my first friend today and it was such a weight off of my sholders. He came over to help me prep a few cars to be scrapped and started in on me about this great woman that would be perfect for me. I just could not take it any more! So it slipped out before I realized it. I waited for him to freak out, but he did not seem to care. I asked him to keep it between us, that I would tell our friends when I was ready. He said he would not say anything.

    We talked for a good hour once we were done. I wonder how many know by now.... I get real nervous about people knowing. This is a small town and I am not sure how we will be treated once everyone knows.

    Up to now only my best friend had known (we were friends with bennifits) and my ex's best friend and family. I don't know if I should come out to the rest of my friends or not? Should I wait and see what Russ does first? Or if my other friends hear it through the grape vine will they think I have been dishonest? I am just confused on what to do.

    I have not told my BF yet what happened. I am not sure how mad he will get. Here in town we are viewed as roomates. He is extremely closeted and wants to stay that way. See he is not gay or even thought about it before me. He views me as a woman and fell in love with the woman I am. Not the mans body I have. So this may upset him. I did not out him but it won't be hard to put 2+2 together. Has anyone else had this problem when comming out reflecting on a partner? I guess I will shortly face the music! Thanks, June
     
  2. Iceman110295

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    There my experience I think that it’s better for it to come from you rather than coming from another person. The reason why because if you just want the secret between you and your friends it’s better for you to tell the yourself.
    With the best fiend problem I think it’s going to work out. With me my friends he was kind of mad that didn’t tell him I was gay but he realized it must been hard for me since my mom don’t like gay that much. So after we had are little bro talk he told me that “I don’t care if your gay or not but I won’t help you look for dudes’’ but in the end we just laugh and went back to playing games. So just try to be honest with your best and they will come around.
    (P.S if you do get along you should freak them out sometimes by say “that guy over there look hot” that freak my friend all the time.)
     
  3. Ticklish Fish

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    congratulations!
     
  4. RueBea85

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    Congrats!!
    I think it is always best to try to tell people face to face, rather than for them to hear it from someone else.
     
  5. DeanIsHome

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    Congrats :grin: I can't do it face-to-face you're so brave i had to text it when i told my friend.
     
  6. June Cleaver

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    Well it has been days now and nothing! Russ has not called or talked with me since. I guess he is not taking it well. I have not told my BF yet. A little chicken hearted. Well I will keep you posted and thanks for the support. June
     
  7. Ianthe

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    Sometimes people need a little time to process it. You shouldn't assume that Russ won't be back around. You also shouldn't assume that he will tell anyone when you explicitly asked him not to. But being unable to talk about it means that he can't get any support for himself processing his feelings about it. So, that could mean it will take longer.

    I take it you came out as gay, and not as a woman, right? What exactly did you say?
     
  8. PeteNJ

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    Great for you! I realize your concerns about being in a small town. And I hope you and BF are good, too, in being open.
     
  9. June Cleaver

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    I told him that I was not interested in women. That I appreciated he had found me a wealthy 42yo who wanted to meet me. That I was Transgendered and could never be with a woman. That yes I am male on the outside but have always all my life been a straight female in spirit. So I required a man to be with romantically. and said no more about it.

    The last month or so I have felt he has hinted around for playtime. He has lately talked about things sexaully his wife won't do and such with obvous boners. Last week he had one while in warm-up pants that I couldn't have missed it if I was nearly blind while he talked of lack of getting BJs from her. I never bring up sex to friends, after all what could I say that would not out me. So he has been extra pushy with women for me to meet lately. Really I just could not take it! He was driving me crazy.... Maby he was pushing me to find out?

    It is strange, but most guys that spend time around me see me as her no matter how butch I act and dress. They almost always come around to BJs, either asking outright for one, hinting for one, and one guy in 2009 simpily did not give me a choice. Not many friends come to the house for visits, but lately Russ has been showing up inventing reasons like buffing two of my cars in warm-ups that day, the day this happened he took over cutting converters off of a couple of cars I was scrapping also talking about getting Viagra that day. A couple weeks ago in dress cloths he showed up while I was cleaning the siding of the house and took over the job. We met in church about 5 years ago. Does this sort of thing happen normally? June
     
  10. returning

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    Congratulations :slight_smile: