Here's my story about it: Around 5 months ago, I was talking to my 'extremely homophobic' best friend (to protect his indentity, his name will be Tom) about myself and he told me his biggest secret, and he expected me to tell him mine. I refused to tell him, but then I trusted him lots weeks after, so I told him, I said that I have an interest in guys, but I'm not completely sure about it yet (although 85% of me thinks I am Gay). He understood me and respected me for that and he promised he won't tell a soul. Before I told him, he told me about this girl (to protect her identity, her name will be Jess) that he'd been trying to get since he was 10, he was FULLY in love with her. I gave him advice on how to speak to her nicely and all so that she can hae a positive thought about him. 2 months later, Jess decides to go out with Tom, they have a strong relationship, the most active sex life I've ever heard of and all. Now that Tom is fully in love with her, he asks me if he can tell Jess that I'm gay. I said no, and he was giving me a full argument saying that 'But she's my girlfriend, I love her, I cant keep secrets from her' and I told him not to, the conversation ended by him hanging up in anger. I started crying so hard. My mum asked me to go to her room, I went there, she asked me what was wrong, then I told her about the whole secret thing and the Jess thing (Didnt mention the gay part yet, just said 'secret of mine') and I was crying. My sister then asked me to talk with her alone (because she was next to me, when I was talking to Mum), she my older sis by the way. Then she asked me, 'Are you gay?', I said no. She said 'Are you sure' and then I couldnt hold it anymore, I started crying, I couldnt hold it back, that surely means a Yes. She hugged me and then said 'It doesnt matter, I dont see you any different as before, and you know Im there for you' and I hugged her again. I, then, later told my mum the next morning. She said the same thing. But they both dont believe I'm gay, they think that because I'm going through Puberty, my hormones are raging. But I'm 85% sure I'm gay. My mum also takes me to healing masses to get people to pray for my confusion, since my parents are devout Catholics. My extended family is also MAJOR HOMOPHOBICS! So this one was a really hard one. I'm pretty sure some people know I'm gay anyway, since the way I act (Not feminine, i jut dont act rough & tough, im more gentle and sensitive). But yeah. That's my story.
I'm gentle and sensitive too! *high fives* Well glad that your mom and your sis took it nicely. Point them (nicely, of course) that it's NOT a phase. And hey you don't have to get labeled too! If you are 85% sure you're gay, you can tell you're bi but more into guys, or Gay with some bi fantasies, or Gay cookie with Bi sprinkles (Tha'ts me! ) Give them time to understand is not a phase too. It takes time!!! and Yay for coming out to them! Your mom surely felt that she is important enough to know, as well as your sis and in the long term that will make your relation stronger! *Hugs, hugs, hugs!!!* Jean.
Well, since you said your parents are so religious, its good that they reacted well. If you keep telling your parents its not a phase, they'll slowly become more accepting of it.
I'm glad to hear your mum and sister reacted well. There have been some horror coming out stories here on EC. If your Mum continues to ask you if its a phase, just let her know gently, that it isn't. Also, you say you are 85% sure you are gay. I would not advise telling your mum that, because it may get her hopes up and she may try to force girls upon you and that would not be pleasant or easy to deal with. Much Love and I hope this all works out for you.
Thank you all for the help and advice. Yeah, I think Jean's comment about the cookie is like my life at the moment. For example, I just went to a party last week. I was liking the women there, I was thinking of kissing this girl. But on the other hand, I was really liking this guy and I was having sexual thoughts of him. This kinda explains the cookie thing. Also at the party, the birthday girl had a stripper there. He started to strip. All the friends (guys) were like "eew no!!" but I was pretending to act resistant but I was actually enjoying his stripping. Its really hard to act 'straight'
You'll just have to explain to them that telling them that you're gay means that you're basically sure, that it's the last step to understanding yourself, not the first. Congrats on coming out. The family and almost your first at the same time - ouch! If you want some catholic info to give to your parents, I have seriously loads here for when I come out. PM me if you're interested or just wanna talk ~alex
Yea...that religion detail does sound extremely confining and annoying. I hope they see you soon as who you are. But, congratulations on coming out!
