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Feeling Awkward after Coming Out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by nowwhat, Feb 24, 2013.

  1. nowwhat

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    I've never told anyone that I'm gay and last night when I was drunk I came out to my dad. We had a good conversation and he told me he loves me no matter what and that he's glad I told him. He said that him and my mom kind of "had a feeling" I was gay. I haven't told my mom, sister, or friends or even my psychiatrist.....I know what the hell? not even my shrink?

    Im not saying I regret it because it needed to happen and the alcohol definitely helped but now its the next day and I have this awkward feeling around the house. Like an elephant in the room every time I talk to my dad or and am in the same room. But when Im out of the room I hear him singing and humming, like everything is fine. Almost better than normal... Maybe my mind is just so surprised that he took the news so well that I don't know how to react? I just hate this awkward feeling.. should I bring up our convo from last night or just wait until he says something?

    Bottom line, is it doesn't seem like he's phased. so weird, i should be happy right? but I'm confused and am super awkward. help.. anyone else had this feeling soon after?:eusa_doh:
     
  2. returning

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    Yes, it's perfectly normal. It happened to me too. I think it's because your revealing something extremely intimate and personal to someone, and it's talking about sexuality, which is almost always akward.(especially with your parents.)
     
  3. nowwhat

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    Thanks for replying. Ya it just kinda feels like a nightmare, now i have to eventually tell my sister and mom and friends and the world, its like I wish everyone just knew from the beginning.
     
  4. 461 467

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    Just relax for a while. You only just told him last night, so of course things were going to be awkward today. If the awkwardness doesn't go away within a few days or a week, then you might consider addressing the situation with him when the right opportunity arises.
     
  5. BradThePug

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    I had this same feeling when I first came out. I know that I felt this way because I had shared something that I had kept a secret for so long. It was weird that somebody other than me knew what before was my "secret". This feeling went away with time.
     
  6. Thatoneguy

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    I felt the same as well, I was making a bigger deal about it than everyone else was.
     
  7. Chickenlover

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    This is exactly how I felt. I described it as there being "an elephant wearing a pink tutu following me around". Like the previous posters said, I think it's because you just revealed a huge, hidden part of yourself. Of course that feels awful. To him it probably isn't too much of a deal, but to you it's enormous. The feeling will go away though, and it gets easier each time. Congratulations on coming out! Way to go!
     
  8. Dublin Boy

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    (&&&)Congratulations on coming out :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
  9. BornInTexas

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    I've only told a few people, and I feel the exact same way! It should go away as time progresses, but you have kept this secret FOR SO LONG, it was kind of YOUR thing. Only YOU knew. It goes away, though.

    Congratulations and good luck! :slight_smile:
     
  10. Oddish

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    I felt exactly like this after I came out to my parents (at different times, respectively). The awkward tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

    It eventually went away, though. The more I talked, acted "normal" and didn't focus on my coming out, the more relaxed I felt and didn't feel like an elephant in the room. But yeah, it was pretty odd at first. You should feel proud about coming out, though. And you will eventually.
     
  11. Sayu

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    This happened to me too, with my mom :slight_smile: The next day I told her (even though it was ok), I somehow regretted it and was happy at the same time. I feel awkward even now and it's been more that a week...
     
  12. nowwhat

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    Even though it has only been 48 hours, I already feel better and less awkward. Thanks everyone for your posts, it's so comforting to know that I'm "not alone" in this. My dad is being so cool about it, last night I said something like, "I feel awkward about telling you". His response was, "I don't feel awkward at all, I love you for telling me, and feel closer as a parent than I felt before. Fuck what everyone thinks, just embrace who you are and it will get easier". Best response ever. Anyway, for those who are still feeling awkward, the best thing you can do is make light of the situation. You can't go back, you can only move forward, and why not move forward in a positive way, right? Stay strong.

    ---------- Post added 25th Feb 2013 at 03:16 PM ----------

    Also, like some of you said, I was making a bigger deal of it than it really is. YOU are your biggest critic so you will probably feel more awkward, than anyone else you come to tell. Just something to think about when your like "fuck.. I'm the most awkward gay person ever"... Humor helps too.
     
  13. iGay14

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    Hmm I came out to my friends drunk for the first time and although parents are another matter it was talked about a little when drink we didn't talk about it that much but afterwards it wasn't really bought up that much or talked about as much and there was a little awkwardness for a little while when the subject or boys came up. But eventually all that faded everything became a lot more open and there's like zero awkwardness now basically and although parents are very different to friends I'm sure a similar thing will happen a small awkward stage before more talk and openness
     
  14. remainnameless

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    I actually came out to my best friend last night as well, and it is definitely awkward. But I'm trying to keep the elephant OUT of the room, because I want our friendship to stay strong. Not only has it been awkward but I have been kinda sick to my stomach, all the stress that comes with it is ridiculous.
     
  15. Stridenttube

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    I had this same feeling for about a week after coming out to my mom. I didn't talk to her at all for several days. That feeling will go away, just give it some time. Congrats.
     
  16. RueBea85

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    I felt that way for a long time, I had come out to a woman I worked with who is also gay, so didn't have the awkwardness. I just felt more naked when I went out in public, the fact I had admitted it and everyone could see that I was a lesbian just by looking at me. Now I don't have that feeling so much anymore :slight_smile:
     
    #16 RueBea85, Feb 25, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2013
  17. mnguy

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    Congrats on coming out to your dad and that's great that he is so supportive of you. From what you described, you'll get over this quickly and everything will be cool again. I had a nervous feeling with a friend when I would bring up something about being gay even months after telling her. What you describe feeling now sounds normal and even if you feel it again down the road, yea, that happens too.

    You're doing great :thumbsup:
     
  18. RainbowMan

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    I became physically ill after coming out for the first time - I don't know if that was coincidence or not (wound up coming down with the head cold from hell)

    After I came out to my parents, I was feeling awkward and visibly scared (I was shaking at work). I sent them an email in the morning before I left, and told them to call me after a certain time. I got a call from my Dad prior to the appointed time, but couldn't answer it since I was at work and couldn't talk about this at work. Turns out he was calling me prior to reading my email to wish me a happy birthday :slight_smile:

    But when I finally did call him after the appointed time, it felt quite awkward. But the awkwardness has gone, and we're closer than we've ever been before. Things are good! :slight_smile:
     
  19. Asari

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    Sharing things that you've been holding in for a while is hard. It happens to me too.
     
  20. Labyrinth

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    Sometimes our own worries and anxieties can color a situation not just for ourselves, but for those we interact with. Your dad most likely is taking the cues from you in how you handle the situation and how you feel about it. Be comfortable with yourself and who you are and those around you will tend to adapt to that feeling of being comfortable. It may be new information to them, but ultimately you are the one that sets the tone.