Only as "not heterosexual," since I'm still working on defining myself, but that's a start, right? I have had something on my mind a lot recently, related to this subject, and I wanted to talk to someone about it. I wanted to post it on EC, but it wasn't really a question or discussion, it was just a ramble, so I finally decided to bring it up. The conversation was kind of funny, too; I started by talking about this guy I used to like (I've talked about guys before with her), and then this girl I used to like. And since I go to a liberal college in an equally liberal town, I needed to establish that this was about defining my sexual orientation, instead of about my ramble (long story). Shortly before I left, she asked what I thought her reaction would be. I said that because of the social climate of the town, I'm probably not even the billionth person in this exact scenario that she's seen. Then I can't remember if I asked, or if she volunteered it, but she said she wasn't surprised (about my not-being-heterosexual). Which is somewhat comforting, but also freaks me out, the idea that others can "See it in me". So on the one hand, it was great, to finally talk about something that I've wanted to talk about for so long, but also terrifying, as given the scenario, it's not not something I can take back (I did "come out" once before, but I was drunk, it was a lot vaguer, and I denied the hell out of it later). I had to work soon after, so it's still kinda sinking it, lol.
Yep, I remember coming out to my therapist as well. In fact, see the thread . It still feels like it happened yesterday, even though I'm out to more people now. It was the hardest thing that I ever did, and the reward for it has been liberation to be myself. I'm ready to stop hiding, and I think that today, if anyone asked if I was gay, I'd answer truthfully. It used to be that I wouldn't (I remember lying many, many times!) and I've come a long ways. Good luck on your journey, but it's just beginning!
Congrats! I remember when I came out to my therapist. It was actually my first meeting with her and I just came out with it to my surprise. I'm always shy around people at first but for some reason in my mind I was like " well she's a therapist and here to help me and be understanding so I'm going to just tell her! " and it's been smooth sailing ever since. She took it very well.
Then I can't remember if I asked, or if she volunteered it, but she said she wasn't surprised (about my not-being-heterosexual). Which is somewhat comforting, but also freaks me out, the idea that others can "See it in me". I wouldn't stress about it too much. I imagine therapists get a lot of patients who are trying to deal with the sexuality just because of the nature of what they do. It's not really a "pill" problem for your regular doctor of a psychiatrist.
@Kylo: Thanks! And haha, with you and Rainbowman, I feel like I'm about a year overdue to come out to her, lol @Newdown: That's a very good point. Thanks for your input!
I think it's great that you did this, not just for the experience and practice of it, but now it bridges the possibility and likelihood that you will continue to discuss it with your therapist, which I think is of the utmost importance particularly because you feel anxiety about it in your current town. She could be a lot of help to you in dealing with this anxiety and peoples reactions, helping you to grow and feel more comfortable in your own skin.
Well, I went to my therapist pretty much explicitly for help with this process. Being in NYC, I was extremely lucky to find a therapist that I click with, and who's on my insurance plan (lots of mental health providers in NYC, or any other kind of health care provider for that matter, don't take insurance because the reimbursement is ridiculously low). Here's the thing - he's a gay man. So talking with him is easier than talking to someone who's straight I feel - he has context for what I'm going through. He's also a big believer in long-term treatment. He doesn't believe that you can "cure" someone in a few sessions, rather in complex, relational therapy, where he creates a safe environment for things to come out, and deals with them as they do. He's mastered the art of empathic listening, where I'll ask him a question, and be met with dead silence to explore answers He's really good
@Labyrinth: Thanks for the support! I'm hoping that coming out to her will do all that @Rainbow: Glad to hear you were able to find someone who could meet your needs in those circumstances! I started seeing her for unrelated reasons, but I've really enjoyed seeing her, I think she's been good for me.
