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First Queer Date

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Robin Vote, Feb 26, 2013.

  1. Robin Vote

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    It's been a while since I pulled up EC - things have been going so well with coming out to my friends and adjusting to all of this being in the air. I feel amazing. It's hard sometimes, to get all of this to fit in my skull alongside the way I've lived, dated, and justified before coming out. Mostly though, it's intensely good. I've come a long, long way in the last year.

    I feel so much more peace and confidence about everything and, in the last few months, I've become comfortable enough to flirt with... the idea of flirting with girls. It's wonderful and new and I can feel already that some important part of my youth is just beginning.

    And now - I have a date.

    Oh man, that's exciting. And terrifying. I've never been on a date with a girl. Which means, really, that I've never been nervous or jittery for a date. I guess that should have been sign.

    Of course the only thing to do is be myself. It's just a date - nothing to lose, really, if it doesn't inspire poetry or fireworks. Nothing to fear if we decide it's not quite the right combination. But wow. Wow am I nervous - I feel like an adolescent again.

    There's also a small part of me that, because this is my first queer dating venture, wants to make it something more important than it is. Can you relate?

    Little ideas like... I'll always remember this experience; I hope I'm ready for this; Will it be very obvious that this is so new and unfamiliar to me? Will she notice my intensity? Will it be weird? We have nothing invested in this, yet. It's a casual first date - sparked on mutual interest. Still... it's a big step for me. I have to take it sometime. Is this the natural moment?

    Any advice for banishing those kinds of "baby queer" jitters? Stories? Similar situations?
     
  2. myheartincheck

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    Just be as natural and yourself as possible. Remember that if you're you, she'll love you! ^_^ Good luck! :wink:
     
  3. HalfInsane

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    I personally find it easiest if you don't think about it as a date if you're nervous. I'm going to assume you don't know this person well? So really, you're mostly just trying to get to know each other. So just relax, be yourself. If she doesn't like plain ol' genuine you, there's sure no point pursuing anything further, is there?
     
  4. FemCasanova

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    Re: First Ever Lady Date

    Accept that they are there, accept that it is completely normal and try to enjoy it :wink: If you try to force them down or away, they`ll just increase. If you try to enjoy the jitters a little, and let it excite you, it feels better.

    Use it to your advantage, smile and laugh, tell her straight up that you can get really nervous before a date, and "particularly because you are so damned pretty". Because your nervousness is genuine, that compliment will really make an impact with her :wink: If dating wasn`t nerve-wrecking, it wouldn`t be so much fun, lol. It`s kind of like going on that super-speed roller coaster. And she`ll be a little nervous too. Nervousness is only bad if a) you end up drinking too much alcohol to "cover it up" or b) you avoid eye-contact and don`t say a lot.

    Prepare a few questions mentally before going out, so that if there`s suddenly a long pause in the conversation, you have something to say. Like, what does she like to do when going out? What is her fave color? What is her secret dream for her life? What matters the most to her in life? And when you`ve mentally figured out a couple questions, savor them for that potentially embarrassing moment.

    And should the worst happen, you suddenly don`t know what to say, your mind feels like a black hole, then focus on her. Check out her eyes, her hair, her clothes, and try to notice if there`s something special, something unique and/or really pretty, and give her a compliment. Compliments are always nice! Humor is nice too. Smiling and saying; "Okay, I was about to say something intelligent but, brain freeze" and throw in a confused expression. Most of the times, a girl will find that adorable and laugh.

    Good luck, and great job of scoring a date :wink: Hope you have a good one, and that the two of you have chemistry :grin:
     
  5. Robin Vote

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    Well, everyone - it didn't work out after a few off kilter dates, but it was a damned great experience. Thanks for all of the support and advice!

    I feel ten feet tall just for going out on those dates, even if we didn't have chemistry. I got a friend out of the experience and a MAJOR ice-break for something I've always been too terrified to try.