I was outed today by my mom. It did not go well. Added to that fact that lately I am insominatic, depressed, and starting down the road of anorexia (which I'm desperately trying to stop). My mom has been saying I'm becoming fat and I'm loosing my respect for my body. I wish and I want to stop, but I can't. Ack! My mom is so openmined but after I came out to her she is always yelling at me.She forced me out to my family to 'gather opinions' She yelled at me for a good hour, embarrassed me, then told me I was making a statement and I was 'acting' gay to get attention. She said she wasn't openminded any more about me and that I wouldn't be 'allowed' to be gay until I was in uni so she could pretend I was still straight. She was like 'I'm still very openminded, just not about this and you. You're doing this to show how different and openminded you are.' She says I should stop hanging around with my gay people (there are only two at my school, and they are both leaving at the end of the year). And she believes I have a fascination with gay people just like I like virology and computers. I want to cry. She always said she is proud of me. But now she says she is 'starting to like me less and less and never had a daughter she wanted to 'slap as much' as me. I can't wait till uni where I don't have to pretend to be straight to make her happy. She thinks that now I'm 'pretending to be gay' that I want a penis and have sex with girls all the time. Okay, maybe I wouldn't mind having sex, but if I was straight, I would want it too, just with guys instead. I wouldn't have minded so much if she wasn't openminded, because then I would know what to expect but with her being 'openminded' and suddenly turning away, it hurts just that much more. And she says my whole extended family will laugh at me and I should keep it a secret. I dunno what to do. I was starting to come out at school, but now I just want to crawl under the covers and cry. *sobs*
AWWWW!!! (*hug*) I really feel sad You have to go easy with you mom, parents are always the hardest to come out. She is just shocked by now. Don't blame yourself for what she sayd or how she feels. (*hug*) We'll be always here to help you. And please please please don't hurt yourself - Anorexia is basically hurting yourself so fight against it! You can do it! (*hug*)
She's being way unnecessarily bitchy towards you. You should not have to take that in my opinion. Next time she yells, yell back. Scream that you're still her daughter and this behavior towards you is downright disgraceful. She needs to realize how this is affecting you and how angry she's making you. Just my thought on it. As for saying you're fat that's downright abusive and monstrous of her to say. You clearly are far from being fat. (*hug*) You don't have to put up with all that we're all here for you.
I agree that some of the things your Mom said to you is verbal abuse. She sounds like she's losing it. You can't control what comes out of her mouth, but you can control the way you receive it and how you handle it. Just show her some love. Tell her in a calm voice that she is absolutely wrong about this stuff and that you deserve to live your life authentically and to be happy. It may just take some time for her to realize you are who you are! (*hug*)
I'm so so sorry. (*hug*) Maybe your mom needs some time to realize what you say is true, and to come to terms with it. I hope things brighten up soon.
Well that doesn't seem very nice AT ALL. I don't know what to say. *hugs* I hope it'll get better soon after a while of her thinking it over.
Awww I'm so sorry to hear that. That is certainly no way for a mother to treat her daughter. Do you have someone you can go and talk to about it? Perhaps someone who can ally you against your mum and try to get her to come round and see reason? Or someone to just be a shoulder to cry on? No one deserves to suffer this kind of thing on their own.
AWWWWWW!!OMG!!!!*SUPER HUGS U!!* I PROMISE!!IT WILL BE OK!!!it might take a little time..but one day...it will get ALOT better I PROMISE!!and i ALWAYS keep promises
Thanks for the support guys. To answer your questions, I do not have anyone I can go to and cry on their shoulder physically. The closest I have are gilca, Fred, and everyone else on the EC community. :hugs: You guys are my lifeline! My mom has now gone about blaming my friends for 'turning' me gay. She is forbidding me to hang out with them. The only people I can now hang out with are guys that she thinks can 'turn me straight'. *slams head into wall* She is now trying her hardest to keep me in her sight and with people that are homophobes so I can 'see how wrong I am'. She is repeatedly telling me not to tell people I'm gay because apparently when I'm older I will 'see that I'm straight, and it will be awkward after acting gay for so long'. *cries* She won't let me go to the nearest GSA/PFLAG/GLBTY meetings saying they will only 'reinforce my gayness'. And now she is blaming herself that if I hadn't given a speech on gay rights last year (when I thought I was straight) and went to a GSA to inform them of a homophobic group that started in our school, I would have never 'turned gay'. I dunno what to do!
Your mom's denial is causing her to behave totally irrationally. Just be true to who you are and ignore her tyrades. She'll eventually get it or she's going to lose the love of her daugher. I'm so sorry. We're here for you. (*hug*)
(*hug*) (*hug*) Hunn i want u to know that u r perfect the way u r, ily no matter what and we a r not wrong for being gay, we just love differently but don't worry about ur mom everything will be fine not everyone has the courage and the strength to get over things like this quickly remember she probably had dreams set for u goals and that just brought her down, that doesn't mean they had to be urs too, those where her dreams not urs, u have to respect ur self by accepting who u r, just be patient, be strong for her, being gay is extremely hard but im here for u we all are in ec ILY and ur not alone just please take care of your self ur perfect just like that, theres nothing wrong with u and IM PROUD OF WHO U R.(*hug*) (*hug*)
