Came out to my brother. First person ever. :)

I'm still kind of poleaxed, but here's the gist of the conversation (may not be word for word, I was so nervous I was half-hearing things).

T: I have something to tell you. And you have to promise you'll listen with an open mind before you say anything.

A (amused): Okay, I promise. Shoot.

T: ...I'm gay. With Nick. Like....forever. [I don't remember what all I said here, in reality it actually was a rambling soliloquy I cant't remember due to shock.]

A (deadpan and angry): Oh my God, are you fucking serious Tobias!? I'm stoked because I already knew that.

(Thanks to his tone of voice - completely pissed - it took a second for that second sentence to sink in.)

T: ...What? [Voice quivering, about to start crying because I'm thinking this is where the tirade starts. And now I'm just starting to realize that he said he's known I'm gay the entire time.]

A (normal tone of voice): Yeah, man. A long time. You must think that Lady and the Tramp look is subtle.

T: So it's okay?

A: I was weirded out when I found out about it, but I'm over it. Mom and Dad, however, are going to burn you at the stake.

T: That's not funny. [I still want to cry at this point, him joking is kind of jangling my nerves.]

A: You really think I would let them do anything to you?

T: No.

A: Damn straight. Just sayin', don't expect them to give you a blessing, least not at first. Maybe not ever.

T: I don't. You're not going to tell them, are you?

A: That's your call to make. I'll do it if you want me to, otherwise I'm staying out of it. But you guys are my brothers. Nothing can change that. I love y'all.

T: We love you too. Gotta go get packing. Can't wait to see you guys this weekend. [Didn't really need to start packing right then, but needed a conversational out because I still felt like I might burst into tears just from nerves and relief.]

A: You too. Take it easy brother. We can't wait to have you home.

- disconnect -

 

It's his way of dealing with awkward conversations. He deflects with humor.

I think overall it went pretty good. I guess if he already knew about it, he's had plenty of time to process.

Thanks!

Yeah, I thought that was so sweet that he offered to do that, knowing how my dad is going to react. He's a really good brother. I started tearing up over that more than anything else.

With the jokey mood he was in, I was sort of afraid to ask.

Will do!

 

We're pretty close and he's near my own age (so a progressive youth? ) and knowing that, I was hoping it would go a lot better than with my mom and dad. I'm so glad it did. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders just knowing that my brother can come over and hang out with us and I don't have to pretend or anything. And he can show up early in the morning to hunt without me having to freak out about being in the wrong bed.

That was my impression too, considering his "angry voice" was PERFECT. He's always been dedicated to a good prank.

 

I told him last night I was probably going to do it today, and he gave the okay. I almost waited until I got back in town to do it, but I really just wanted to know that I had the support of SOMEONE back there before I went back. I think he suspects that my brother knew too. I haven't told him that I told my brother yet though.

You have no idea!

 

Yeah, I reckon you do.

Me and Nick both decided that my brother would be a good starting point. I'm really glad that I decided to come out to him first. If the first reaction I got was extremely negative, I don't know if I could keep going.