planning on coming out to therapist..3 hours from now

Good luck
As a therapist she has to be understanding and helping. If you think you can't actually say the words you could try to write it down, just a Note or a short letter, and give it to her.

 

Hi onlythebulls13

I have been struggling with coming to terms that I am gay after realising in my mid 40s that something was not as it should have been, I am now 53. I too had problems in discussing the issue with my therapist.

Last year however, after 8 sessions of counselling for PTSD, I did eventually come out to my therapist. I am a very graphic person and had created a diagram for discussion during the session to show all the external issues that were impacting my PTSD. To try and make sure that I discussed being gay I added a large photo of an elephant in the top corner of my diagram.

I noticed my therapist repeatedly looking at the “elephant in the room” but he did not mention it, I was hoping that he would and that would be a lead in to me telling him I thought I was gay. With just minutes left in the session I told him that there was something else bothering me and that he must force me to confront it in the next session. He asked me just to give him an idea what it was so he could make a note for the next meeting , after a long pause I told him “I think I’m gay”.

On the way home after the session I did feel like a huge weight had been lifted but to my surprise I only found it necessary to discuss my sexuality in 2 other sessions. I am thinking that since he was not a dedicated LGBT therapist perhaps he did not delve deep enough. So I will think about going to some dedicated therapist but this may have to wait until I have discussed this with my wife as I can’t find a suitable excuse for some clandestine meetings.

Sale Gay Guy

 

I was already out when I started with my therapist, but I still had to come out to him. I made sure to do it in our first interview session. He's somewhat affiliated with a local Christian university that has a morality contract that forbids homosexuality, so it was very important to me to establish right away that he wasn't going to try and turn me straight or something. I was out but hadn't been for long, and I was totally shaking and anxiety ridden to do it.

Let us know how it went, and if you didn't manage it today, we can help you figure out how to do it for next time.

 

dude i went to see a therapist and i made my mind up before i even got there. I told myself i was going to be 100 percent honest so that thearpy could work, Within the first 30 seconds of our first conversation i let her know that i was gay. it felt weird saying it to someone i dont know but i knew it was the first step.

 

You can print out this thread, and take it with you. Or email your therapist and tell her that there is something you need to talk about, and she needs to make you do it.

 

That's a really good advice

 

Dear onlythebulls. What has worked for me on my coming out journey is to set dates and when something is really hard to to, to send an email or text, or even tell someone on the phone -- that I have something to say.

Like --
an email to my shrink "Something happened this week that I need to work out in our session on Thursday" (if you don't have her email - leave her a voicemail -- yes really!!)
an email to a friend -- "Glad to be meeting you for coffee tomorrow, I'm really working hard to figure out what I want to do in life, It'll be good to talk with you"
in a phone call -- "Can we meet for coffee or lunch -- I need talk about things going on with me and need your advice"

Believe me -- I have avoided talking about things that are hard to speak about, challenging to others, or that I'm scared of. That's normal. Using a strategy like I've noted above -- dates and say something -- I find much more getting done in life.

You deserve to have this conversation with your therapist so she can be there with you and support you!

Peace

 

GREAT -- did you text her yet? (don't put it off)

 

so didja text her...??? Onlythebulls13 you have more courage than you think you do!! You want to tell your therapist...that is awesome. She should be able to help you more if she does understand you as much as you will allow her to. You WILL do it because you know this already. Keep us posted....(*hug*)

 

Trust me man, I am in no way kicking ass and taking names lol. I wish I was more comfortable in my own skin, I wish there wasn't so much stigma around being gay. It's like when I told my old man I was gay, I told him I couldn't help who I devolved feeling for that it just happen to turn out like that. I recently told my crush that I wanted more and he said we couldn't be more than friends. Things were strained for a bout 2-3 weeks but after that we have been closer and we are still friends. I really wish I had a boyfriend. Someone I could care for and they could care for me. We could just sit around and drink beer and play video games lol. But you know what they say you can wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first. So don't worry your not being a sissy about having hard time telling people. We all have to move at our own pace

 

F%ck yea i get my own paragragh!(!) Yea man it would be awesome if you did live out here, we could go hit the bars and find some fun. One day i hope my crush wakes up and realizes what he has but i dont think that day will come and if he does it will be after im gone or later in his life. Dont worry man, you and i are walking the same path and were still trying to figure out this journey as we go. The way i see it is im just kinda making shit up as i go!

 

Just came out to my therapist....in my 40's...married... Was scared but now feel lighter happier. It was easier to talk about other things too because that was the hardest. You can do it. You will notice you can breath deeper too. Hugs.