I'm new here, but I've been reading threads on occasion before I signed up for postings. This might be long I apologize beforehand :icon_wink So basically, since about 4 months ago I've been dying to come out to couple of my close straight friends (2 guys 1 girl), but do not have the courage even when the time is right (like 1-1 in a room with one of them). There is just happened a day (1 month ago) where we all decided to hang out + 1 other friend whom I'm not close. Now they all have been joking around me "when will you get a girl if you have not even made any approaches, heck you never even checked out girls" ever since they knew me. They even made jokes that I might be gay, but they always tell me not to be one, tho I know for sure my close friend who is a girl always wanted to have a gay friend. It just so happened at that day, one of them is planning to go away for good to another country and keep on joking on wanting to have his final wish for seeing me with a girl. So I finally told them that I will tell the reason why I have not have any effort to look for girls (beside my shy personality), given that the no-so-close friend is not at the same place when we gonna discuss. Then they devised a plan where 1 of them take him to another place, while the other 2 guys (who are my close friends) approach me. That's when I whispered faintly to their ear that "I don't like girls". At that time I couldn't even say the word "gay". Immediately my eyes went teary as my mind filled up with the thoughts of them leaving me. But in a moment they actually tap my shoulder and said that "It's ok, don't get all work up, nothing is going to change between us." A part of me knew that this will be the outcome, but it came as a shock, a good one. As the place was actually bit crowded, they keep telling me to calm down and not to make a scene as I'm getting more tears of happiness. One of them even said that if he was to have a son and found out to be gay, he won't disown him. We felt bad afterwards as we need to lie to the other not-so-close friend saying that I'm actually having feelings for one of their sister. We then separated with the n-s-c friend and went back home to discuss further. Now, as my girl friend was the one who isolate the n-s-c friend, she didn't know the truth and eager to know. We all sit down in a circle and my guy friend started the conversation followed by me saying that (again) "I don't like girls". There was short pause and I could tell she was shocked and told me whether I'm being serious. In the end, they told me that even though they kept making jokes of me being gay, they never had suspicion that I am one as I consider myself straight-acting. I told them that I had questioned my sexuality since around 12 yrs old and that they actually said that I should have told them earlier, so that they could support me cus hiding my sexuality alone for that long they thought it was painful (I told them I was in depression before I met them about 5 years ago, but because of bullying which is partly true). Although I felt this huge relief, they asked me if I am 100% sure I am gay because I have never experiment with girls in my entire life. I told them that I have seen straight porn and I'm only attracted to the guy and that I never check girls out, although I can tell which one is attractive. They even suggested to bring me to a strip club to make sure my sexuality. Although I understand where they are coming from, part of me thought that they are trying to have at least the possibility of me being Bi. They even asked me when did I "turn" gay and I replied with that "I believe I'm born gay". One of the guy admit that he has bad history with flamboyant guys, so he's ok with me but not with them. At the end, they all accepted me after I explained why I believe I'm gay not bi. Within the next 2 weeks, everything between us have been going well. They keep mentioning I'm unique and should be proud, especially with Mardi Gras coming. But after that 2 weeks something unexplainable happened which made me feel like I made the wrong choice coming out to them, but I don't think I'm going to post the detail here, maybe another time or on another thread. Thanks for reading the long post
