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My friends, but noone else...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by FireIce_YinYang, Nov 26, 2006.

  1. FireIce_YinYang

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    I'm a male, I'm 14, and I've already told my close-knit group of friends about my preffering males over females, all but one of them are 100% supportive, the other friend is just like "If that's what you wanna do, well go ahead...", so she's okay...

    But that's not the problem... I need to now, how do I tell the adults in my life, especially my mom, we're usually pretty close, but I just don't know.... though I think my mom might be bi... i'm still afraid to tell her... I'm not even gonna try with my step dad... he'd kill me, my real dad'd probably be fine, but it's still scary... and last, but not least... I wanna tell my school counselor, but.... I don't trust her enough, we don't talk alot.... can someone help me...? What should I do?
     
  2. FireIce_YinYang

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    PS- I REAAAALLLLY want to tell my brother because we have such a great relationship, he might be ok, but i doubt it, he says "I don't care if someone is gay, but if they hit on me, I'll punch 'em." so i'm kind of scared, he truies to be neutral when talking to GBL people, but when in the company of friends, he's crackin' jokes, dissing them, etc, so that's a bit of a down as well... PLEASE HELP, i realy want to tell him above all people, except for my mother...
     
  3. step49x

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    First off, congrats for coming out to your friends! Once I accepted that I was gay, it took me almost half a year to come out to a few of my friends.

    If you're close to your mom, that will help you when you eventually come out to her. Do you know if she knows any other GBL people? Have you ever heard her talk about it (and how does she react if/when she does)? If you know how she reacts around other GBL people, this could help you judge how she will react when you tell her.

    As for how to come out to her, there are many ways people have mentioned here. If you're ever alone with her, you could always just tell her. Or, when you're talking to her sometime, you could bring up the whole issue in general, and lead the topic in the direction of you coming out to her. If you don't feel like just going out and telling her, you could try writing a letter.

    People can change their opinions on things like this when they find out that someone they know and care deeply about is GBL. The people you mentioned your brother talking to, are they friends, or just random people? The thing with him might just be, he doesn't know any GBL people personally.

    If nothing else, I would recommend not hitting on him... :wink:
     
  4. FireIce_YinYang

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    Thanks for the help, and my mom has a few bi friends, and she's perfectly okay with them, and as for my brother, I mean by that is, if we see a guy walking down the street in pink and baby blue, his wrist loose, my brother will not burst out into laughing, and if the guy talks to him, he'll be polite, so.. i geuss he's okay... I just don't want to feel as if he's pretending not to hate the fact that I'm Bi.... that would be a horrible experience....
     
  5. Sam

    Sam
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    Since you've already come out to your friends you have a big support system you would be surprised how great your friends can be in this situation and its always nice to get the support and opinion of the people your close to. since your mom has GBL friends I think she will be fine with it you just have to get the courage up to do it. It took me 7 months after I wrote my mom a letter coming out to her to actually give it to her and the only regret I have is not doing it sooner because I spent all that time worrying about it when it turned out that she was ok with it. now for your brother if he tries to be polite around GBL people and says hes fine just as long as they dont hit on him I don't think he'll have a problem with it either and while I think it might be a shock and take some time to get used to the fact that your Bi I think he will get used to it within no time my advice to you is find the one your closer to, to come out to first then that person can give you the courage to come out to the other one you might just find that you have a better more open relationship with them.

    good luck!
     
  6. FireIce_YinYang

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    Cool, and I am closer to my brother, but you've given me an idea, I think I can try coming out via E-Mail.... do you think that'd work.... I still don't even think I have enough courage to do that... but.... maybe it'll work? Should I do that?


    Postscript- I just remembered about my sister who lives far away from me... we have a internet-only relationship... but we are really close, we talk about very important subjects, and things like that... she accepts the things I do, and the things I believe in, even though she is a die-hard christian... if i can get her support... maybe I'll be ok,
     
    #6 FireIce_YinYang, Nov 29, 2006
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2006
  7. FireIce_YinYang

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    I.... I told her... she said, and I qoute "I really can't say that I agree with you, but I could never hate you, you're my brother." So, she doesn't support me, wich was dissapointing... but at least she wont break all communications and destroy our relationship... I'm happy that I could tell someone so close, and she said that she was happy that i trusted her so much, so i geuss it worked out okay, but i don't think i'll be talking to her too much about it.
     
  8. step49x

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    As far as the 'emailing your brother' thing goes, I'd personally only do it if he lived too far away from me to either personally give him a letter/leave one someplace he'd see it, or tell him verbally. I think that email (and IM, as well) is too impersonal to say stuff like this (that's just my opinion, and it appeared to be your best option when coming out to your sister).

    If you're ever looking for more ideas on ways to come out, try checking out this topic.
     
  9. FireIce_YinYang

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    Well, yeah, but, we live in completeley differnt states for one thing, I was gonna try calling him, i thing that's gonna work better, after I tell enough people to feel comfortable... I'll tell my mom
     
  10. FireIce_YinYang

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    I told my brother he said, "That's cool, you're just different, but the d--n world will never see that..."

    He supported me completeley! I'm so happy, and it was easy to do!

    I'm beginning to get a lot more confidence from my friends, I'm getting to want to tell other people...

    Which reminds me, two people at school were told, they asked, and i always said "If they ask, I will tell the truth." I don't believe in lying, gossip travels fast, so, we'll see tomorrow when i go to school!
     
  11. Jamie

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    Well that's awesome news FireIce!!! I'm glad that your brother was so accepting of you. I think as far as him joking about 'homos' and stuff to his friends goes, it'll no doubt reduce gradually as he'll suddenly sees a need to be alot more supportive and protective over you.

    It's brilliant that you've found it possible to come out at such a young age and wish you all the best with telling your mom. Keep us all updated!!!
     
  12. FireIce_YinYang

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    I'm so proud, I'm coming out to people I bareley know at this point, I came out to my brother's girlfriend! And she supported me too!
     
  13. FireIce_YinYang

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    I ent home for the holidays and told my lil' brother... he basically told me I was a sinfull, evil, person, and he hated me... so I tried to play it off as a joke... and he fell for it.... so... He was a BIG inspiration *SARCASM!*
     
  14. Qu_

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    As much as your family would love to believe that they can call you a sinner etc. and effectively cut you out of their lives, they eventually will realize they have to accept you, that you are their son. However, if you expect this kind of reaction out of your parents as well, I'd honestly say wait it out (as bad as that sounds) unless you can be positive they won't cut you off/kick you out...
     
  15. FireIce_YinYang

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    Um... well, I've started telling more people, and I've gotten a bit better about it.... but... I... Don't think I can tell my mom... I... just... Don't know what to do... I really wanna tell her... but I can't... I've read all these other things online... and, I just don't think I have the courage to do it...

    ergo: Last night, I went in my room and got on Yahoo Instant Messager.. and looked at my contact image (it has two anime guys kissing on it) I thought for a while, and went into the living room... I said "Um... Mom... I need to tell you something..." she looked up at me confused... then I just trailed off and ran back into my room, saying "N-nevermind".

    So.... I... want to... but I don't think I can....