I am in college...at 16...am out to everyone in my dorm, and about four weeks ago I came out to my mother and brother. My brother...he's 14...he was ok with it, and my mother was fine...she only was concerned for my safety...and cited the fact that homosexual males have a high HIV transmission rate. I assured her I would be fine and she fully accepts me now. She also let me know that she still loves me no matter what. I still cannot tell my father because I rely on his financial support to get me through college...what should I do?:icon_wink
Thats awesome about coming out to your mom! You might want to change your out status now. As for your dad, ask your mom if she thinks that he'll be okay about you being gay. If she says no, then ask her not to tell him and don't tell him until you graduate from college. If he's okay, then tell him. But find out first from your mother, to be safe. And you're in college at sixteen! That's pretty freaking sweet!
Wow, college at 16! I'm impressed too. It's kind of unfair to ask her to keep a secret like that from your father for such a long time. Are they married and living together? I think I'd talk to your Mom about talking together with your Dad. Download the PFLAG publications to help educate him. Hopefully she can talk to your Dad and help him realize that you will be a happier and healthier person living your authentic life.
Congrats on telling your mom and bro! Is your dad homophobic? if so just how much? If you think that telling your dad with the support of your mom would not cause you to lose his financial support than I say go for it but if by telling your dad, you are absolutely sure that you would lose his financial support than I wouldn't tell him. That is just my opinion because believe me I know from personal experience that paying for college on your own is very difficult and nearly impossible. It may sound selfish and mean and like you are using him but it is just what I would do. No matter what you decide however I wish you the best of luck. Oh and I highly recommend checking out the pflag materials. Sam
I rely on my father for financial support through college. I suggest you tell him. The way I see it if he doesn't want to support you when you're out, then why would you want his support anyways? If you work hard enough you can send yourself to college and be whatever you want to be! I don't think you're dad will cut off your fundage, but if he does and you finish college anyways (without his support), it'll just show you how much you care about your future, making you look bigger in your dad's eyes.
Congratulations on coming out to your mum and brother!! And it's so great that you're mum's so supportive!! I would always advise caution if you are financially dependent upon a parent or parents to come out to them if you are unsure as to how they will react, but I think that this is something you really have to discuss with your mum. I mean, you and your mum know your dad best, and your mum may be able to argue your case with him, or in any case may not want to have to keep this secret from him. I would discuss it with your mum, and, if possible, come out to him, but if you are both certain that to do so would end his financial support for college, and you don't want to jeopardise this, then of course you can wait. But congratulations!!! And I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do about your dad.
i will tell u what to do. start having protected gay sex. :lol: WOOOOOOOOOT!! wow, everyone is just having it good. i tried coming out to my mom last week and we had a long conversation about homosexuality and just when i was about to say ..."i am gay :dry:" she just had to start begging me never to have sex with men. :eek: it was shocking cuz i thought i had a break through but i think she suspects i am gay and just wants to beat me down emotionally. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. i would rather run away and make out with a guy then sit and listen to her beseach to me not to be gay
