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I'm so sad, what to do?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by patrick2010, Dec 4, 2006.

  1. patrick2010

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    I'm miserable putting on a show to be popular. Who freaking cares if you do sports anymore, gosh! I'm tired of it. I want to come out but it's just I'm so scared of not having friends. I mean yeah I know that true friends are always there for you. But, how do yoiu know your true friends before hand? What if they aren't enough??:confused:
     
  2. step49x

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    First, take a deep breath. Whatever happens, you're not alone.

    I know from experience that the coming out process can be one of the most stressful things that you'll ever do. As you come out to more people, it will get easier. But as you haven't come out to anyone, yet, let's focus on that.

    The first thing I would suggest doing is figuring out who your best friends are. How do you figure this out, before you come out to them? Well, first, figure out who they are, now. If you had a deep secret (besides being gay), who would you tell it to? Who has been the most trustworthy, in the past?

    There have been several cases posted here of when people came out to their friends, while their friends might not have the same beliefs on homosexuality, or might have been against it, they still continued to be friends with them.

    How can you tell how your friends are going to react? How have they reacted to homosexuality in the past? Unless they are one of those people that believes homosexuality is a sin and actively campaigns against it, chances are good that, while they still might dislike the idea, they aren't going to dump you as a friend because of it.

    While is there no definite way to tell how your friends will react, you'll never know unless you give them the chance to react. The longer you put off not telling anyone, the more these feelings are going to start taking over you.

    Find a friend (perhaps there is a girl you know who often gives advice when people need it?) that you can come out to. Some people come out to their parents before friends, and some visa-versa. But until you actually start coming out to people, you're going to sit there and wonder "what if" until it drives you crazy.

    I know coming out isn't easy. In fact, it's one of the most difficult things I've ever done. But once you do, you can get incredible satisfaction from it. Many people wonder why they didn't do it earlier.

    Whatever you decide to do, good luck. Just remember, we're here behind you 100%. :wink:
     
  3. patrick2010

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    thanks a lot! still scared though =/
     
  4. step49x

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    Don't worry. No one is expecting anything otherwise. I get incredibly nervous right before I come out to someone.

    When I have come out to people in the past, it usually was not something that I had planned out, beforehand. It's usually someone I've been wanting to come out to, but we're alone, together, and I think, "well, now is as good a time as ever..". It usually takes me another 10 min or so to actually think of what I'm going to say before I say it. My heart starts beating faster, and my blood pressure goes way up.

    I really hate that feeling, but I usually feel great about it, right after I do come out to them.

    Would you mind telling us a little more about yourself? Maybe, an age range, what your friends are like, how they've responded to other GLBT individuals in the past? The more you tell us, the more we can try to help you. :wink:

    Don't feel any pressure, though. If you don't want to tell us anything, we won't be offended.
     
  5. Fox

    Fox
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    One thing you have to remember too, is that as you come out to more and more people, you will meet more people that have gone through your situation and are wanting to be friends with people just like you.
    I can say from experience, when I told 2 of my friends, they surprisingly supported me very well through the whole ordeal, they didn't react explosively or anything.
    In fact, they knew another 2 guys who had just told them they were gay, so they hooked me up with those guys and we became great mates.
    I can't say that the exact same thing will happen to you, but just remember, you never know what can happen (in a good way) :thumbsup:
    Good Luck.