Long story short, I told my friend who lives at my home last night that I think I'm gay via text last night and it went well. Last Monday I sent him a text that I wanted to talk about something, blah blah blah and he never responded. We've texted and hung out since, but he never brought it up. So last night in an Xbox Live party I asked him about it and he said he never got it because the text sent as a text message and not an imessage, and his phone doesn't get texts (iphone bullshit). So he then tried to get it out of me, but I was being shy but eventually he told me to text it to him, whatever it was. My roommate was in the room so I couldn't tell him through the Xbox. So I texted him. I told him that I tried coming out to in January to a friend from college, who I was going to live with next year, and that it didn't go very well. I told him that it shook my confidence and and I haven't been able to talk about it to anyone, and how I've been rather depressed lately holding it in. His response said he'll never think less of me for it, and that I can always talk to him. If I ever needed help telling my other friends he'd help, and that I should be open about it if holding it in is depressing me. He was really great and I was surprisingly calm once I sent the text message. Although I'm happy he knows, I don't feel any different today. I guess I was hoping to be more comforted. I really appreciated the response but I still have the same doubts/worries about being gay that I had before. Oh well, life moves on. One down in the meantime. In a week or two I might be out to a few more friends and a brother if I'm feeling up to it.
It sounds like you are coming out to people, but you have not come out to yourself yet, I did the same, I told people I was Gay, then days later I regretted telling people & the doubts started creeping back in, I went back to the people & told them that maybe I was Bi, nearly 3 years later, I sat down a re-evaluated my life & finally came out to myself, I am now 100% certain I am Gay
I think you're right, although I didn't say "I'm gay" that bluntly. I danced around it a bit saying I'm pretty sure but that I'm not 100%. Is this the wrong approach? Should I wait? I don't really care if my friends know I'm not sure, but that I'm leaning a certain way...
Braver than me, I just sort of stopped trying to hide it when I got to college. I'm glad your friend is cool with it when you sort of told him. It'll feel less awkward the more you do it. I'm now at the point where I'm annoyed when I'm mistaken for straight. You'll get there dear, you'll get there. (&&&) Embrace yourself, and realize that it was wrong for the world to make you afraid to be you. (&&&)
That's the trick isn't it? I'm working on it. I don't hate myself or anything but I'm certainly not proud, and still fear other people... Thanks for responding! I appreciate it
Congrats man! Still, it took a lot of guts to come out and your friend seems supportive, so that's great. When I came out the first time around, I felt somewhat alienated from my friends even though they supported me. It just takes some time to get back into the flow of things again, especially when you've been holding in something like that for so long. It takes some self-acceptance too.
Thanks man, I appreciate it! I'm feeling more courageous by the day. Fortunately for me I haven't been feeling the alienation you referred too. The self-acceptance has been a bit of a struggle though.
