Believe it or not. I've crossed a milestone... and I'm really surprised.

So word is getting around that I am either gay or bi. (Both of which are sorta true and I really dont care to label myself cause I'm somewhere in the middle. Anyway it's of course only out to a select group of people yet the more I step back and look nobody cares XD there is still alot of people to come out to (the guy I suspect might be gay in denile or bi or something XD) but I'm getting there.

It is hard to describe how I felt when coming out because so far I felt a variey of emotions. Crushing sadness, shame, and as if my "perfect" world was tearing apart, but then from the ashes of my shreded emotions rose hope and true happiness.

I came out to one of my friends who acts really homophobic (he jokes alot) AND HE WAS ACTUALLY OK WITH IT. It shocked me beyond belief and again all those complicated fealings arose, but I did feel better.

I am not so concerned with my orientation now but more if people get the gyst. It's not for them (except the select few I hope are gay ) It still feels... ackward to say the least and I'm still gonna have to hide it from my dad for a while but things are looking up. (And my fear that I'll wake up and not be gay is sorta leaving me mainly because I'm pretty sure it's not a phase [its been two years since i really noticed it]) How far does my attraction to girls go who knows who cares if I find a girl I liked I'll date her ^_^.
Thanks if you read it all feel free to post your thoughts (!)