Dear mom and dad. I have something very important to tell you. Don’t worry I am fine, healthy and nothing is wrong. I am perfectly fine. I am writing this at 12:07am on a school night because I can’t sleep because I am having another sleepless night. One of many this past week or so. I have to apologise that I am telling you in letter form, and while I’m at school. but I couldn’t build up the confidence to tell you in person. All I ask is that you don’t talk about this to anyone but dad until I get home and talk about it. I am sorry for not having been able to share this part of me with you a lot sooner. A lot of times I thought about telling you this about myself. A lot of times I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I had to accept it myself; I had to learn that it is okay to be who I am. I had to think about how best to tell you this because I was afraid that I will lose your love and support. I would be broken hearted if I lost that. Mom. Dad. I’m gay. I have known for quite a while now. Ever since I was 13, I was never attracted to women, but to men. Oh how I tried to convince myself that I was straight. I even tried to be with more girls even though you said I couldn’t. That was one reason why I was with Chyann. I know you may think it’s a phase or a choice, but if it was a choice, I would definitely choose being straight. Now I know when you asked me if I was gay a long time ago and I said I wasn’t; I lied. I was too scared to tell you the truth. Now I am for sure. I know it is against what you believe in, but that is one of the reasons why I never wanted to go far in the church. I didn’t want them to say that I was constantly sinning and need to change who I am. I know what you might be feeling; anger, hurt, confused, and scared. But you guys didn’t do anything wrong. No one molested me or anything like that. I am trembling writing this because you told me in person that you are homophobic, that is what scared me the most. I know you will love me but something in the back of my mind told me otherwise. Now I know you’re thinking about how it is a sin, but you told me that God wouldn't put me through anything I couldn't bare, and this is something I can’t control. this is who I am, You don’t have to agree, but all I ask is that you respect it and don’t treat me different. Please don’t hate me, there is already enough of that in the world, I have wanted to tell for a long long time. It had made me cry sometime and become depressed. But I gained the courage by telling only the most trusted people I know. The ones who know is Marco, Adam, and Madison. Madison. He is the one who convinced me to tell you guys. He may not agree with my beliefs, but does agree that I need to let you know. He told me what the bible said about homosexuality, but that is what a book that we paraphrased 3,500 years ago. He also told me that true Christians will love and respect all walks of life and love them. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be writing this letter. For that I thank him. “And I can’t change. Even if I try. Even if I wanted to” (Same Love by Macklemore feat Mary Lambert) Look up the song. Now I know the life I have chosen will be a hard life and there will be people who will hate me because of it. I know that at school will be rough if I choose to come out there. Now please don’t think that because of school this happened. It has been this way before freshman year. I may or may not choose to come out at school. All I want is your support. I am the same funny, goofy, fun loving son you always had. So please don’t treat me different. Your loving son Clay P.S. If you need help with this change, go to pflag.org. There is also a branch here in town to help with parents with the change.
Hmmm, I'm not an adult or have written/given a letter myself, so I'd wait for more advice. However, I really liked it. It was brutally honest. You put yourself out there and are being really courageous and I respect the hell out of you for that. The only thing that I would change is the line, "Now I know the life I have chosen will be a hard life...". I'd avoid the word "chosen", as you didn't choose this the life. I think it sends the wrong message. Good luck to you...again, I'd wait for more advice, but I like it a lot. Good for you man
This is a very good letter. The only thing I see is in the fourth paragraph, there should be an S at the end of sometime. Really minor thing but it caught my eye. Again, great letter, Let us know how it goes.
I like it, it was heartfelt and touched on many aspects that they may question. You have allot of balls to type this out and send it to your parents at 16 =). Keep us updated and I sincerely hope everything goes well. Good Luck! Review it again for minor grammatical errors
Brave letter -- awesome! Very proud of you! If you're going to give them a hardcopy of this letter, I have a suggestion, go to PFLAG and print out the first brochure on this list and maybe the list of meetings nearest to you. PFLAG: Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays Seems like you're worried how your parents might react, based on their religion... If that's so, then think about (later on probably), letting them read the Letter to Louise -- which IMO is the most awesome, heartfelt discussion of the Bible and homosexuality out there. God Made Me Gay: A Letter to Louise Congratulations -- keep posting!
I'm sure they'll come around with time. My situation was the exact opposite - things went well when I sent the letter, but then went to hell in a handbasket fairly quickly after. The piece of advice that I'd give is to talk about their reaction. If not with us here on EC (we'd love to hear it and give you help, but totally understand if you're not comfortable with that) then with those friends that you mentioned in your original letter that are there for you. Hang in there (*hug*)
HUGS.... You're authentic to yourself -- that's powerful, own that. Now try to be as gentle with your parents as you'd like them to be with you. You've been thinking, processing, and feeling this for a pretty long time. Sounds like to them it's a shock? Keep posting -- we're here for you.
