I just came out about 30 minutes ago. I calmly told my mother I needed to talk to her and she agreed. I panicked and said it could wait and tried to leave. She told me to stay and grabbed my arm. I turned and said "I'm gay" She starts to argue telling there is no possible way I am gay and that she was Christian and that Christians don't like gays. I cried and asked why she had to hate me because I was gay. She said "because you are only 13 and you don't know what you want! And I don't hate you." I said she must be lying as she obviously hated me. We yelled back and forth and she asked me to go to my room. Said she couldn't even look at me. I ran to my room sobbing and get on this site. She comes back here and calmly says she does not hate me but that she doesn't think I'm gay and that being gay is a choice. I told her it wasn't. That no one would choose to be discriminated by society! She said that period end I am not gay and because I am only 13 I don't know anything. She said there was no way I knew what I wanted at 13. But didn't she know she wanted to date guys at 13? Anyway she told me not to bring it up until I have been through my teens. BUT I hate hiding it. But eventually we moved on to another topic and she seems to not want to talk about it so I gave up because I hate fighting with her and now I sit her typing this story, crying, and wondering what to do. Any help?:soapbox::tears:
I'm sorry honey, that you talking with your Mom didn't go how you would have liked. Be proud of the courage you showed in telling her -- that's pretty amazing and you should feel good about yourself. Before I was on my coming out journey, I don't know that I would have known that kids your age would actually know for sure they are queer. Like your Mom, I would have said to give it a few years. Then I looked back at myself, and by the time I was 8 or 9, I knew I was different. By the time I was a teen, I knew for sure that I was so unlike most of my friends. I just didn't know then what it was. So I get you, I get that you know about yourself. I know that doesn't make it any easier for you, maybe understanding your Mom. And I know her response doesn't work for you -- you're ready. But she's not. I think you need to let her process this -- it may take a while. When the time is right (not right away), print out PFLAG literature -- there is a great introduction piece and there is one specifically about religions and being LGBT. I send you bug hugs tonight, I'm sorry this is tough. Please please -- keep posting, don't give up being proud of who you are. We get it. We're here for you.
i applaud you :eusa_clap for telling your mom at 13 im double your age and still dont have the guts to mine :bang: your mom sounds like mine very strong christian women that know the bible inside out and have been bible bashing us since we were babies. i really wanna give advice but then that would make me a hyprocypt be strong and know that you have people here who you can talk to (*hug*)
aw...It's awful when people say "you don't know yet". She might just be scared for you, maybe let her know that it's not like you're about to start going around waving a big rainbow flag, you just don't want to have to lie to her anymore. I know how that feels :/
