I'm a closeted gay and hate it but I can live with it. I just hate lying to everyone I know and it keeping me from finding anyone (boyfriend). I feel like I should tell all my friends but I'm just to scaried and there was one (girl) whom I dated and I would hate to do that to her because I deeply care for her. Also I was thinking that I should have the first person be my best friend (a guy). But he is so close to me (in a friendship way) that if I lost him I would probably kill myself I'm scaried that he will just be afriad of me and if i lose his support then I have lost it all but I feel as if i must ARGH! this is so painful! :icon_sad:
Hi SkyTears and welcome to the site. Well I completely know where you're coming from on this one. The main reasons for not coming out in my case are for fear of rejection from my parents (so am waiting until I have a place of my own) and also for fear of rejection from my friends. To be honest I probably could get through the coming out process without my family, mostly because i've been slowly cutting myself off from them over the years (putting on false appearances). But my friends are really what makes life worth living (so to speak). My best friend and somebody i'm really close to Andy, is without a doubt the first person I want to tell. I suppose this is because I don't want him finding out along the line. Now i've been dropping hints to him for a little while now, but am a coward when it comes to coming clean. I'm 95% sure he'd be fine with it, and support me anyway, but that 5% chance I have of loosing him is a risk i'm currently not willing to take. I guess deep down you and I both know that if they're true friends, then they'll still be your friend regardless of your sexuality. They like you for what you are underneath yadi-yada. But to be honest in my mind that doesn't cut it. I just don't want to loose this guy (or any of my other friends for that matter). However, as i'm sure you'll realise the time will come for you to be outed. Perhaps if you get a boyfriend then that would be the right time to come out, having somebody on side for morale support. I know that as far as coming out goes, i'll be frank with people I know are gay because they're less likely to out me than straight people. But eventually i'm going to have to bite the bullet. Goodluck with what ever you decide to do, Jamie
