First of all I want to say that I am sorry if my english is bad. I am a french canadian and i am not even bilingual! Nobody knows that I am a lesbian, not even my parents!.. well maybe one guy (he is gay, not that I think it is important to specify but screw I'll say what I want) but I don't think that counts because we never met for real : we chat sometimes, I saw his face on a picture and he saw mine on a picture.. We know each other's full name.. Anyway .. Today, at school, I was talking with a friend (girl) and I brought back a topic from last week about how I think the guy she thinks is so hot, is not.. Here is our conversation (It was in french). It was during lunch break : Me : He's ugly u_u (talking about a guy in her pictures on her phone) Her : You don't find any guy attractive! Me : No, I don't. (I was being sarcastic). She started laughing. Me : What? Her : Nothing. (still laughing) Me : (kind of laughing) Whaatt? Her : Well, you said you don't find any guy attractive so.. I jump to conclusions.. Me : What are you trying to say? (laughing) Then she just laughed and rubbed her cellphone on my shirt to clean its screen. End of conversation. After that, in my math class, I was stressed for the whole time! I just couldn't concentrate! I thought : This is it. This is where everything changes. F*ck. The night before I read a lot of coming out stories here, on this forum, and I had a dream that I was coming out.. I think that I am ready but I am not sure. I want to, but I am scared. My friend didn't talk to me about it after.I think that if she confronts me and asks me the question seriously, I will tell her. I'm f*cking scared. I'm sure she knows. I didn't deny it.. I think it was because I wanted to see what she was going to say.. And also because she didn't really say it.. Although I knew what she was thinking, it was obvious! I don't really know why I am writing this right now.. maybe I just wanted to let it out.. maybe I'd like some advices? Is there someone here that has experienced something similar? Thank you for reading me! And sorry again for my bad english! :icon_redf
Well to start, your english is great. Now just going off of your friends reaction, it sounds like she's pretty chill about all this. I think if you really want to come out, you shouldn't wait for her to confront you. Maybe she never will, because to her it might not feel like it's her place to do so. I know if I was in her situation I don't think I would. If you're close to one another I say go for it!
Oh, I think this has happened to all of us and I hate it when I don't tell the person right away, 'cause I always feel like it is a wasted chance. Maybe next time you will come out! Drop some more hints! Fingers crossed! (*hug*) ---------- Post added 1st May 2013 at 11:58 PM ---------- And, just for your information, your English is really good!
Thank you both And thanks for my english haha! The thing is that I don't know if she was just kidding or if she was serious.. Since yesterday I am stressed everytime my friends talk about guys because I am scared that she brings it up lol.. I really want to come out but I know everything will change and I hate changes.. I know that I will do it someday, I am one hundred percent sure that I will because I do not want to live in secret all my life! But still, I am afraid to do it! I am not ashamed of who I am or anything! When I realised that I was a lesbian, maybe 8 months ago, I was okay with it, I didn't panic, I didn't cry about it.. I even laughed because I have not seen it sooner! The only thing that's holding me back is the changes.. and how my parents will take it.. I don't want them to cry over it and I know they will.. I don't want to explain how I discovered it, why, when, etc.. And I'm sure they will see me differently. My father was raised in a really religious familly and my mother.. well one day she saw two men together, I think in a TV show or something.. and she said that she didn't appreciate to see two men kissing.. But it was a long time ago maybe she doesn't think like that anymore because recently she said that a woman was hitting on her in a store (the woman worked there and an other woman who also worked there told my mother that that woman was a lesbian) and she tought it was funny.. So yeah, I am confused! Sorry for the long text, I have so mush things to say since I can't talk about it with anyone.. I could write a text of at least four pages on that subject..
Well things don't necessarily have to change. I came out to my best friend not too long ago and we have been the same as ever. I think as long as your friend knows that you don't have a crush on her (assuming you don't) and if you're close to each other and you trust her, you should be good. But you don't need to rush into these things. You'll know when it's time to tell the person, you just get that gut feeling. :icon_wink
