Finally told my mom

It's been 5 months since I came out to myself; accepted the fact that I'm gay and it's not changing. I'm 30 years old and first realized that I was gay when I was 13. I told my brother after I'd had a month to sort through my own feelings. I told him because I knew he'd be supportive.

A few weeks later I told my other brother - I was less sure about him. He's always been the most conservative of us siblings and when growing up he used a lot of racist and homophobic terms. Lately he's been identifying with more socially progressive views and when I told him he was surprised but also thankfully supportive.

The last person that I really felt needed to know was my mother. I'm living with her again while I'm going back to school. My brothers told me everything would be fine - she just wants us to be happy. My mom has in the past mostly supported LGBT rights but she's often complained about people "coming out" and "shoving their sexuality" into the open. I was trying to find a way where it would just come up naturally. 4 months and that never really happened.

Finally, last night we were watching The Daily Show and there was a bit about Jason Collins and we got to talking about how even my very conservative grandparents were starting to see gay people as normal people thanks to a relative that they liked and had come out. That's when I did it. I said, "Well, I'm gay and they know me."

She just kind of froze. I think she might have said "Oh." But that was it. She didn't ask any questions she didn't say anything else about it. We just went back to watching TV. It seemed very normal with scattered conversation about whatever was on - other than my feeling somewhat rejected.

I guess I expected SOME sort of reaction. I expected that she would know how difficult it was for me to tell her and that she would at least tell me she loves me or something. It's certainly better than other people's parents have responded so I'm trying to focus on that. I'm just going to give it time and see if she wants to talk about it.

I'm glad this board is here - typing this up helps me get some of the emotions out and I feel better