My parents knew when i was 16. It was a scary experience for me because they threatened to discipline me. They did not. I am 21 now. I thought their opinions have changed over the years. My dad found out i was texting to a guy the other day, this morning he called me and told me that he could understand that this was natural and not my fault, but he also said it was a wrong thing to like men and i should refrain from it like people trying to quit smoking for good. He said i had bettered use my time doing something 'more useful' and stop seeing, dating or loving anyone for the rest of my life, or i could also become a priest. He said he could not accept I having a happy life with another man. I was so shocked and upset that my parents advised me to live my life alone because it's better that way. I hurt a lot and I felt like I could die. But i cant die yet, it is stupid. So I felt the need to declare something. I wrote on facebook that I was gay. A lot of my friends showed supports. But my relatives dont take it well. They called me, they texted me to remove it. They said that I put my parents to shame which I shouldnt have because this is a shameful secret of the family. I don't know what to do now. I'm feeling like I cannot breathe. I'm in my car 30 mins away from home now trying to clear my head. They said we would talk tonight when i came home. My parents are broken down and I'm as well. What should i do
You should try to make your parents understand. Try to show them( maybe via the internet) that being gay is not a bad thing. You should definitely try and be as independent as you can because unless your parents change their mind completely you can't stay in house and listen to people who tell you that you should be alone for ever. It's not a healthy environment. Sorry if i seem harsh but you should think of your happiness first.... Also i REALLY admire your courage for coming out on Facebook. I don't think i could ever do that......You're very brave and i think( worst case scenario) you could make do withought your parents. Your first priority should be to make them understand though....
Oh man I wish your parents would realise that you are now much more of a man because of what you have done, you are brave. You need to remember that, go forward without turning around and have a great and happy life with someone - totally agree with Johnchrys above also try to explain to your parents, but at the end of the day you are a young man with your whole life ahead of you, and if you are man enough to stand up to what you are and admit it, you are man enough to get through life whether you have support or not.
No offense, but your family seems very selfish and one-sided. They aren't looking at it from your point of view... you can't just change yourself and do what THEY want you to do for the rest of your life. I think you should sit them down, and talk with them and try as hard as you can to convince them that you were born this way, and that God wouldn't make you gay for no reason. Talk about how you feel towards guys and how you feel toward girls, and branch off of that... personally I knew I wasn't straight when I was really little, I had only girlfriends and played dolls with them and found some guys in my neighborhood attractive at a really young age... no God would make a child gay or lesbian from birth if it was a sin, and if he did then I want no relationship with a God like that. It's very rude and inconsiderate that they're trying to live your life for you without knowing what you're thinking or feeling like... :dry:
If you are Asian (guessing by the username) I can understand your situation pretty well. Its what I fear most if I openly come out as well since I'm Asian too. Tell them kindly to do some research and educate themselves and ask what the big deal actually is. And if your friends do support you also tell your parents and relatives that times are different and society is has changed for the better.
