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came out to first person :D

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by yahooooo, Apr 20, 2008.

  1. yahooooo

    yahooooo Guest

    So i finally did it (!) (!) (!) (!) (!)

    i told the one person that i really trust... i have been trying to tell her for ages but always chickened out (as i wrote in a previous thread)

    so anyway today i decided it was time to finally come out to her so i texted her saying i had something that i needed to tell her blah blah... and she seems to be ok with it!! although i really need to talk to her about it face to face as texts are hard to tell how someone is feeling...

    so yer... im really chuffed i actually did it :icon_bigg .. but hope it isnt going to be awkward between us.. jst have to wait and see... i feel so much better now tho!!

    :thewave:
     
  2. Louise

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    (!) (!) (!) Good for you. It might be a bit difficult in the begining but that akwardness will pass and yo will go on to a new more open friendship. :icon_bigg
     
  3. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    That's great! It's awesome that you're confident enough to tell her your non-straightness. Having a slightly complicated label like that always makes things harder. I'm really proud of you! High five for that "first time feeling"!
     
  4. Bromptonrocks

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    That's good news well done. You must be feeling happy..
     
  5. jazzrawr

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    aww thats great.
    its awsome when you tell a friend and they understand...i have only told a few of my friends, and out of the 5 ive told only one of them isnt gay, and she took it really well.
     
  6. biisme

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    that's awesome!!!!!!

    yay for you!
     
  7. shakerdancee

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    Ohh God. The first person I came out to convinced me it was a phase.
     
  8. ccdd

    ccdd Guest

    Hey, congratulations!! (!) (!) I'm glad she seems ok with it too - any awkwardness will go I think the more you talk about it and as they get used to it. Coming out for the first time can be hard - as you have no experience to know what to expect! - but congrats! (And now hopefully you've got a friend you can talk about things with).

    Does she know she's the first person you came out to? The first person I told was really, really honoured, and realised that this meant that I trusted her. - it can help your friendship that way :slight_smile:
     
  9. charlie12

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    Congratulations! :thumbsup:
     
  10. total mo

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  11. JSG

    JSG Guest

    Yay !!
    Congrats on your first coming out :grin:
     
  12. yahooooo

    yahooooo Guest

    hey, thanks everyone, just some advice appreciated...

    i still haven't spoken to her about it properly. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable but I really think I need to talk to her properly about what she really thinks.. I know it's only been a few days but it is still awekward!! so do I say something, or wait untill she talks to me?? thanks!
     
  13. ccdd

    ccdd Guest

    I think that you have to bring it up with her, when you're alone together. I had this one (straight) friend that I came out to via facebook message - ie it was slipped in in a really long message - but when she messaged me back it wasn't mentioned. I then didn't hear from her for a while (it was Christmas), and was totally *freaked*. I sent her a text, and when she sent me a new year text, I was *so* relieved.

    Anyhow, the thing is, when I next saw her on her own I said "You know that email I sent you..." and she knew what I meant. And then I said "What do you think?". We then discussed it for ages, and we are now completely open about it with each other, she's not uncomfortable as I thought she might be, and it's not an issue.

    The thing is, she had never had anyone come out to her like that before and she wasn't sure whether I wanted to talk about it or not. She didn't want to make a deal of it, but then, she did have some questions, but didn't want to ask in case it was rude. But I think that you HAVE to bring it up with your friend, otherwise it will become like the elephant in the room. You need to talk about it, and then (hopefully) have a giggle about it. If she is uncomfortable, talking with you should sort that out (as should, I found, making it clear - if this is true in your case - that you're not interested in them, as people always think you are...).

    But don't leave it to her, because in my experience (with other friends as well), they very rarely, if ever, bring it up - you will have to, just to clear the air. Just be like "So what did you think of my text" or "Did you guess I was gay" or even a simple "Can we talk about that thing I told you" or "Hey, you know that thing I told you about, are you ok with it?" - or something like that. Be casual, and as you've already told her, when you're alone and start talking to her, she may actually be expecting it - or even wanting to discuss it.

    I hope that things don't remain uncomfortable, and obviously there is always the possibility it might, but the only way you can clear the air and make sure all is ok is to talk to her. And the more you talk to her, the more she'll realise that you're exactly the same. ie any uncomfortableness will eventually go. But you will have to bite the bullet and bring it up with her, I'm afraid - otherwise you'll be uncomfortable, which she'll pick up on, and vice versa.

    Good luck!! (and don't worry - I've sometimes found the follow-up conversations harder than the actual coming-out, because then you get all the questions).

    Hope this helps :slight_smile:

    ps I would also do it sooner rather than later. She's had a couple of days to get used to idea. But good luck! But I don't think you can wait for her if you feel you need to talk. Sometimes people don't realise what a big thing coming out is, or if they do, they don't know what to say. Just be casual, and like your normal self.
     
    #13 ccdd, Apr 22, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 22, 2008
  14. DillP

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    ya.. congrats.. i only told 1 friend also... an she took it good..