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My coming-our email to my mom

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Batman is swag, Jun 5, 2013.

  1. Batman is swag

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    My coming-out email to my Mom: (brother's name has been changed)


    To my amazing, awesome, loving, and much-loved Mom,

    First of all, this isn't a bad letter. I'm fine! :wink: Just figured I'd put that out there before you freaked out and got worried...


    Compared with the other really hard things I’ve done in my life, writing this letter is easy. It’s knowing that you’re going to read it that’s freaking me out. But it would be worse to tell you in person, so at least if I give it to you in an email, I can have all my thoughts laid out in a somewhat coherent fashion. =D lol Besides I'm being a big fat chicken right now... XPP I planned on telling you while I was away at camp, but then Ryan said (rightly) that I should do it soon, and I know that I'll chicken otherwise. (oh yeah he knows).

    I’ve been struggling for about a year over whether or not to tell you, but I’ve known this for sure for about 3 1/2 or 4 years now. I’ve been kind of terrified to tell you, but at the same time, I don’t want to spend my whole life in this metaphorical closet that so many others are in. Because that usually ends in the person killing themselves or going crazy, and I don't want to go down either one of those roads. But first, let me get this off my chest: I am not confused. I am not experimenting. I am not making this up for attention. I am 100% positive, this is 100% true, and I am 100% okay with it. Hopefully you will be, too. =P

    If you haven’t already guessed or figured it out somehow, I’m gay. If not, then surprise! :wink: I figured my "Legalize Love" dogtag, my gay pride bracelet, and my Boobies wristband might have tipped you off, but if not, then ta-da! ugh I'm so nervous right now lol going to hit send right as I'm leaving for TKD...

    I mean, I know you know some of the guys I used to "like", and if you look at just that it totally looks like I’m straight. But I‘m not. I’ve never told you any of the girls I used to like/like now, because I was scared you’d be mad or upset or embarrassed or something like that. And honestly I was scared and embarrassed and I don’t even know what else. (And by the way I’m keeping my crush list to myself, so NO SOUP FOR YOU! xD ) But there is honestly no time that I can think of when liking a guy felt natural. It was more like, "Oh well he's cute so I guess I like him...? Maybe? A little bit?" But seriously, liking girls is more like breathing: something I don't really think about. It just happens. Except unlike breathing, I can't make it stop for any amount of time... (haha c; ) I don't know if you're familiar with the Kinsey Scale Test. If not, you should Google it because it's really hard to explain. But about six months ago I heard about it and figured I'd take it just for fun. It goes:

    1) Exclusively heterosexual

    2) Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

    3) Equally heterosexual and and homosexual

    4) Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

    5) Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

    6) Exclusively homosexual

    X) Non-sexual

    So I took the official test on the website, and I scored... Kinsey 6! Ta-da! :wink: hehehe (insert evil / maniacal laugh here).

    There are all of these annoying stereotypes about lesbians. Like we’re making it up, attention seeking, unsure, trying to be cool, undecided... ugh. Ignorant people annoy me. Get a life, people, and stop making stuff up about ours. So yeah. Hopefully you’re okay with it. I'm 99% sure you will be. You always say that you don't care about gay people; it's not like it's a disease or something. If not, then I’m sorry. Please please please don’t make this any more awkward than it already is. I’m positive, I’m fine with it, and if you loved me yesterday, guess what? I’m no different today!

    I'm not really sure what to do about telling Dad. Maybe I shouldn't for now...? I don't have any idea here. He should take it well-it means no jerky boyfriends! C=

    Oh yeah and Ryan knows. (it actually happened by accident; see the very bottom) He's the best big brother ever! He was just like, "Oh ok, no big deal. Mom and Dad won't get upset, I think you should tell them." BECAUSE HE'S AWESOME LIKE THAT.

    ** **** doesn't. I was kind of like OMG WHAT IF IT'S A PHASE OR SOMETHING OR I DON'T EVEN KNOW. And then you were telling me like a month ago about how you used to think you were gay and was scared that it was just a phase or something I didn't want to come out and then be embarrased if it was. I just told Ryan on Sunday and I decided it's an awfully long "phase" (although I suppose that is still a possibility) and I should just stop denying it. So yup. Key point here is that you and Ryan know now. I wanted to tell you before ****** [my new high school, I'm starting in 93 days. Skipping ot 10th grade]. They have a GSA-type thing there.

    And now I'm freaking out internally for all of TKD but oh well if I don't just hit send I'll be too chicken to ever do it. That's what happened with Ryan. I ended up hitting send not save as draft and I swear it was Mom-Mom who did it because I would have never done it otherwise! Haha ok well I'll be at tkd freaking out now with a herd of rabid hippogryphs in my stomach. =P Love you! (sorry for bad spelling and run-on sentences, I have neglected the sacred rules of grammar on account of my nerves).

    Love always, ∞

    Em <3

    Also, you can check out PFLAG’s website. Just Google it.

    I love you more than anyone or anything!

    Thanks for always being there and understanding!

    You’re the BEST MOM EVER!!!!!!!!
     
  2. The Dude

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    Love the letter, full of personality! I was laughing at parts, but it was really well written.

    Way to go!
     
  3. Martjain

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    YES YES YES! It's an awesome letter! If I were your mom I'd hug you very tight, eh WTH (*hug*).
    Did you send it? I'm guessing you did.

    Good luck! :grin:
     
  4. Batman is swag

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    Haha thanks! And yes, I did send it last night. My mom was at work, and I hit send right as I went out the door for a 4 hour TKD practice. It was actually really funny, because I was so scared that at my TKD, I actually felt sick! But then I got home and she was sooo cool about it, and she actually did hug me really really hard (slightly painful, but still comforting).
    My goal was to make it kind of funny, because that's the way I am when I'm nervous. It's the only time I have a sense of humor... =P
    Thanks for being so supportive! :slight_smile: You guys rock!
     
  5. EverythingWeBecome

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    Awesome letter!I'm so happy for you!
     
  6. eatsleepclimb

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    Congrats!! :slight_smile: :slight_smile: I love your letter, mine are really similar (a lot of parentheses and smiley faces and dot dot dots) That's awesome! By the way GSAs are amazing.
     
  7. biggayguy

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    What a great letter! I'm happy that your mom was so cool about it. She was probably happy that you weren't pregnant.
     
  8. Batman is swag

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    Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah i'm dying
     
  9. Hagelslag

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    Hahaha! Very well written and funny :grin:. I'm glad your mom took it well :slight_smile:.