Hi folks, I really didn't expect I'd have anything to post here anytime soon, but yesterday it finally happened - I actually came out to two people. Here's the story: Last night I went out drinking with some of the people from my class. We had a great night and drank a few pints. After a few hours most of the people went home. I was left with two of my classmates (male and female). We started talking about more private stuff and, inevitably, relationship-related matters were brought up. Quite recently I decided that the next time someone asks me about my orientation I'm going to give them an honest answer (I had been asked, like, five times since then but I still dodged the question every time). Sure enough, the subject of marriage came up. They asked me about my future wife, to which I replied that it would be very unlikely for me to get one. And then came the dreaded question: "Are you gay?". I took a deep breath and said yes. I kind of have been dropping very, very subtle hints for the past couple months, so I knew someone would eventually confront me about it. I was really fed up with always having to be careful about what I said, and even though I'm not entirely ready to face all the consequences of my coming out, I decided to go for it. I didn't feel like coming up to someone and revealing myself to them out of the blue. That's why I just waited for the right moment and I think it came yesterday. So, I came out and they turned out to be fairly supportive. I knew they would be because she said before that she's tolerant, and he is gay, so I knew he wouldn't give me a hard time. The thing is that she is a bit of a gossiper. I mean, she's a good person and all that, just not someone I thought I'd come out to first. I made it clear that everything I said that night should stay between the three of us, and I really hope it will. Now, that I'm out to them, I'm torn. On the one hand, I'm really happy I have someone who knows the secret, someone from whom I don't have to hide that part of me anymore. But on the other hand, I'm terrified. They know, and even though they are not supposed to tell anyone, it can just slip out during a conversation, accidentally. And then, it's only a matter of time before the rumor spreads and more people find out. And there is a few people that I really don't want to know yet. Plus, I want to be the one to tell them. That's pretty much it. I really hope it won't come and bite me in the ass. Thanks to everyone who read the entire thing. I was too tired to make a TL;DR version. Joe
First, congratulations! You took the big first step. It gets easier the more you do it. Second, Some people will spread false rumors about you no matter what you do. It's how they get their kicks. Ignore the gossips as much as possible. Tell the truth to whoever will listen.
Firstly, congrats! Secondly, it's like noticing that one is black/Asian/has green eyes, etc. It's so subtle, that they won't think about it as much as you think. You're still their friend and they're not going to be like "oh, that's my friend who's now gay!!" No...they'll still be the same most likely. That's how my friends have been.
