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Gender presentation

Discussion in 'Current Events, World News, & LGBT News' started by Psychedelic Bookmarks, Sep 11, 2008.

  1. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    I wasn't really sure what section to put this in, but I've chosen here in the end because I'm hoping to inspire a serious debate about an issue. If I've misunderstood the section please move this thread to somewhere better. :slight_smile:

    I find myself thinking about gender presentation a lot lately. You know - are you masculine/feminine, conforming/nonconforming, stereotypical/atypical? In particular, I'm exploring my own presentation. I'm not one of those people who has always felt more comfortable either way - I am drawn to both in turn, and sometimes simultaneously.

    Here's an intersting story. About a week ago, I went to a charity event. I went up to the bar and asked for some orange juice. The (cute) woman serving said "Here you are, sir", as she passed it to me. My Mum was there but neither of us commented on it. I was quite suprised because I don't consciously make my appearance 'butch' and I hadn't thought that I could have been mistaken for a boy. But that is actually the second time that it has happened recently. I was interested by my response to it as well: I simultaneously felt proud and insulted. Have any of you experienced this, and can you relate to the strange feeling it produced in me?

    I currently have a short haircut and I suppose my wardrobe is not very feminine. I just find it frustrating that I have to choose either way at all - I really want to be both. In particular, at school, I find myself constantly analysing things. On the one hand, I would like to break the feminine mould that is forced on all the girls at school. On the other hand, I want to break the stereotype of a butch lesbian. So I don't know what I want. I know I shouldn't analyse so much, I should just do what makes me feel comfortable, but again, I don't know what that is.

    Also, I recently read this interesting article: http://bad.eserver.org/issues/2001/54/lehner.html which addresses some of these issues in a fascinating way.

    So I guess I'm asking you all whether any of these ideas resonate with you, or whether you have any thoughts or ideas on this issue. I'm very interested to hear anything you have to say.

    You may begin. :thumbsup:
     
  2. Ben

    Ben
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    I never really thought about my masculinity and femininity until my friend commented that if I was a girl, I would look pretty... when I asked how that makes sense, he said that if I had long hair and make up, I would be an attractive girl :grin:
    Of course, I would still lack the necessary vagina.
    This made me feel quite embarrassed because it was said seriously, confused because I didn't know what to think and good because I didn't feel tied down by any particular gender.

    I tend to dress quite neutrally and wear clothes which could be worn by either gender. I feel that I'm not mistaken for a girl because of my short hair and the way I present myself, but I do verge on the feminine side of masculine.
    Of course, attitude and behaviour plays a big role in how we are perceived alongside physical looks. For example, a man who looks feminine but struts around with the attitude of the archetypal man is less likely to be mistaken for a woman than if he acted more like the archetypal female.

    Much like you, I consciously try to avoid attaching myself to stereotypes.
     
  3. ltb2511

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    I hit the stereotype of a 'butch lesbian' i have short hair and i'm quite big, however I wear kinda feminine clothes, although i do own many male items which my mum says i shouldnt wear due to the fact i do look so butch, so i tend not to wear them having said that give me a dress or a suit i would choose the suit. I have been mistaken for a male quite a few times *pouts*, so i tend to mainly wear feminine clothes and am trying to grow my hair. :grin: There you go my 2 cents worth.
     
  4. I'm femme. And i know i am, but i get really annoyed when people call me Lipstick, cause although i am feminine, i don't think I'm overly girly. I like to dress feminine, it makes me feel better than dressing more masculine, which i do a little sometimes, when that feels more comfortable, i feel sexier lol. And although i'm nowhere near perfect, and i'd pretty much do anything to change it, i don't have a horrendous figure and i like things that fit nicely. I don't know. I suppose i just wear what feels comfortable that morning...
     
  5. BeautifulStranger

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    The more feminine I am and I appear, I feel much more comfortable. I feel most comfortable in a pair of heels and a fabulous dress. But at the same time, I love taking all of my clothes and admiring my incredibly masculine body.

    I don't want to be a drag queen... What I want to be are two seperate people. I want to be the completely gay TJ, and the fabulous straight women who lives inside of me. I've named her Antoinette. Like, if ever for a function or something, a drag queen is required, people come to me because they know I'm the only guy in Alpena who can walk and run in heels. I act like it's a big imposition and I hate doing it, but internally I absolutely love it. I own 7 pairs of heels... My mom asks me why I have them... I tell her I keep forgetting to donate them to the drama club. But honestly, what are they going to do with a size 11 pair of red patent leather pumps with 7" stiletto heels?

    I would most definitely say I'm gender confused. I've always felt like a woman in a mans body.
     
  6. Helen

    Helen Guest

    I'm fairly masculine. I have short hair, and I wear fairly baggy not-very-feminine clothes a lot of the time, but I do like being a bit girly sometimes. I'm quite self concious about how I look in tight/show-offy things, because there is bad juju afoot in Hln D's thighs and bumbum.

    I do get quite a lot of stick about it at school. My current crush keeps on complaining about my hair being so short. :frowning2:
     
  7. BeautifulStranger

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    I'm sorry that people give you crap...
    I began wearing scarves to school in winter and I would integrate them into my outfit so I wouldn't need to take it off and the heteros made fun of me... until it became a fashion trend and then when they started I stopped...

    BTW, my money-maker looks killer in hot pants. I went to the gym three times a week for 2 hours at 5:30 in the morning before school. I've earned my booty.
    It's almost not worth it though... Love what you have... I lost too many hours of sleep to gain a booty that no one ever compliments.
     
    #7 BeautifulStranger, Sep 11, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2008
  8. Noah

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    I work at a drive-thru sometimes, and to be honest, I've called the most feminine girls Sir and the most masculine guys M'am. She probably just wasn't paying attention.
     
  9. yahooooo

    yahooooo Guest

    This is something I end up thinking about quite a lot of the time. I go to a same sex school so am surrounded by hundreds of very feminine girls day in and day out. Although I don't wear masculine clothes, I don't exactly wear feminine clothes either. I hate dresses, make-up, basically all the other feminine type things that I am "supposed" to like because that is what has been decided to be called "normal." I hate wearing feminine clothes or looking really feminine as it just isn't me and I feel as if I'm not being myself. If anything I would prefer to be more butch, as that is how I feel comfortable but I really hate the idea of being a steriotype and also I would probably get a lot of shit at school about it if I was any more masculine. It just seems easier this way.

    When I was younger I was always a tom boy and quite frequently got asked what sex I was. Before I accepted my sexuality this used to really upset me, and I hated it when it happened. I think it was probably to do with the fact that I sort of reaslised I was different but didn't really know what it was so anything else that made me stand out ended up upsetting me. Now that I am out to myself and a few others I really don't care. It's funny.. I still care far too much about what people think about my sexuality but I really have given up caring about what people think about how masculine/feminine I am, to a certain extent anyway.

    I love hockey, football and rugby. I hate make-up, dresses, shopping, pink - most things associated with being girly. I am not going to make myself unhappy in order to fit in with the gender norm. I love football far too much! Without meaning to I have ended up being quite steriotypical and anyone with a half decent gaydar should pick me up in a fraction of a second, but that is who I am. I am not trying to be like that it's just how I am. To be honest, I probably make a far better guy than I do girl!! It would certainly be easier not having to live up to a set of expectations I really hate and go so against my personality but thats the way it is. It's funny, I'm sure other people end up being more concerned about me feeling "not feminine enough" than I am. It seems such an alien concept that I don't actually want to be "normal" as it doens't make me happy. Bless them!
     
  10. Aarin

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    I wear either masculine or androgynous clothing ex. jeans and a T-shirt. My hair is short, but I'm growing it out to medium length. I look like a guy....with a female chest. And I would like to point out that even if you only identify with one gender you don't have to be "100% male/female" or exteremely feminine or masculine. Gender isn't that rigid, normally. I identify as a boy, but I am only around 80-90% male.
     
  11. Jinkies

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    Look at my album and tell me if I present as male or female. Because ultimately, I guess that's up for you to decide. I honestly don't care what pronouns you use on me. One thing that's not in my album though, is that I do wear hoodies a lot.
     
  12. Emulator

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    I don't actively try and present as any particular gender. Sometimes I find it amusing when people try to decide what pronouns to use, and if they ask, I'll ask them what they think.
    I mostly wear T-shirts that I've collected from various events the past few years, so I would say they are quite unisex.