LGBT News Request To Hear Both Sides Denied

Pret Allez · Oct 30, 2014

We Regret To Announce That Your Request Of “Gotta Hear Both Sides” Has Been Denied

Mallory Ortberg said:

Dear Applicant,

Thank you for your recent inquiry about hearing both sides. According to our records, this marks the fourth submission in as many days as to whether or not we have heard both sides. We regret to inform you that we have not.

On March the 2nd, you interrupted a conversation by asking “In fairness, have you heard both sides?”

On April the 13th, you spoke over a work acquaintance, reminding her that “We can’t actually form an opinion about this until we’ve heard both sides.”

While in an ideal world perhaps we would listen to all sides, the volume of requests we receive on a daily basis makes this impossible. We have decided to move ahead with our lives without hearing from your side. It is with very sincere regret that we must inform you we will not be listening to both sides, and have no plans to listen to both sides in the future. Just the one side will have to do.

You may find it a comfort to know that we are very familiar with the side in question. We remain entirely confident in this side’s ability to make itself heard, and wish nothing but the best for your side’s listeners in the future.

What will happen once we’ve decided not to hear both sides? We do not know. We are sailing into uncharted waters. Perhaps we will never return. There may be many sides — dodecahedrons, even — we will neglect to hear. This is a burden we are prepared to take on.

We wish you and your side all of the best and now consider the matter closed,

The Management
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This made my whole day, and it's only lunch time. :lol:

resu · Oct 30, 2014

Lol

Aussie792 · Oct 30, 2014

Thanks for sharing; that's really quite funny. I also found this link on the page you linked:

Mallory Ortberg said:

It’s with very real regret that we must inform you that your petition to play devil’s advocate has been denied...Our records indicate that you have requested to play devil’s advocate for either “just a second here” or “just a minute here” over fourteen times in the last financial quarter. While we appreciate your enthusiasm, priority must be given to those who have not yet played the position. We would like to commend you for the excellent work you have done in the past year arguing for positions you have no real interest or stake in promoting, including:

Affirmative Action: Who’s the Real Minority Here?
Maybe Men Score Better In Math For A Reason
Well, They Don’t Have To Live Here
I Think You’re Taking This Too Personally
Would It Be So Bad If They Did Die?
If You Could Just Try To See It Objectively, Like Me

It is our hope that future holders of the devil’s advocate position will be able to carry on your legacy: smiling as they argue for positions they only half-believe themselves with people who are attempting to discuss something sincerely and in good faith.
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Permission To Play Devil's Advocate Denied

Hexagon · Oct 30, 2014

Lol, that's great.

LGBT News Request To Hear Both Sides Denied

Pret Allez
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resu
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Aussie792
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Hexagon
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LGBT News Request To Hear Both Sides Denied

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Pret Allez Full Member

resu Advisor Full Member

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Pret Allez
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resu
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Hexagon
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