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Old 19th May 2017, 01:35 PM   #1
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More than "It Gets Better"

Research that backs up the idea that having "queer peers" and "homosocializing" is important to the mental health of queer adolescents.

"It Gets Better" Is Bad Advice For Gay Kids, Study Claims | NewNowNext
Sometimes when you are in a dark place you think you've been buried but actually you've been planted. Christine Caine
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Old 19th May 2017, 02:42 PM   #2
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Re: More than "It Gets Better"

I think the research could apply to anybody really but I agree with it. Telling someone that things would get better is kinda dismissive. Having friends in the community means they can share experiences and feel less isolated.
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Old 19th May 2017, 04:35 PM   #3
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Re: More than "It Gets Better"

It makes sense.

The more in common you have with others, the less you'll feel like an outcast. Easier to relate, easier to communicate. Though I find initiating conversations in general to be difficult it's certainly a step up.

There's pretty much nobody similar down here, they all move away or hide. But I will too, and I have a feeling it'll be a significant change.
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Old 19th May 2017, 04:59 PM   #4
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Re: More than "It Gets Better"

This is a complicated topic for me. I sort of agree with this but then again I sort of don't.

I remember back in 8th grade I use to watch those it gets better videos. They made me feel better for a while and I had high hopes for the future. However once I started high school things were such shit that I thought to myself what if it doesn't get better. From what I have learned is that life has ups and downs.

On the topic of socializing with other lgbt+ kids. That's where I don't completely agree. I use to go to gay groups to meet with other people who were also lgbt my age. I honestly felt like I was the outsider the whole time. I couldn't relate to anyone and some of them got on my nerves. I feel a lot better just hanging around people who are accepting not necessarily lgbt+.
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Old 22nd May 2017, 05:40 AM   #5
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Re: More than "It Gets Better"

Yeah, I remember when It Gets Better started. I was 22, at university and out, but I found it so wonderful to see.

I can relate to what Andrew99 said though, because I often felt (and, to tell you the truth, still do sometimes) like I didn't fit in with a lot of other gays and lgbt+s. It's not easy when you already feel like an outsider and an alien, to feel like that among the people who - supposedly also feel that way! I 'coped' as best as I could by ignoring people I disliked and concentrating on the ones I did. I don't find comfort from LGBT spaces now but I have built up a collection of gay friends in disperse places, and I very much value and treasure them. But they came into my life somewhat organically - and while LGBT+ venues are great, sometimes the environment feels a little exposing and self-consciousness inducing.
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Old 22nd May 2017, 09:56 AM   #6
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Re: More than "It Gets Better"

I agree, but many LGBT spaces are narrow minded as well. They'll only accept people with a certain political opinion, if you're "queer enough" (whatever that's supposed to mean), if you agree with the same stuff and so on. Maybe it's just the queer spaces I've been in, I dunno. This site's pretty good, but many irl queer spaces I've been in have a social hierarchy and sometimes a "hazing process", where they try to make you say the wrong thing and then label you as a bigot. I think we need to create spaces where everyone is accepted regardless of whatever. I dunno, maybe it's just the places I've been in.
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Old 22nd May 2017, 08:11 PM   #7
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Re: More than "It Gets Better"

"It gets better" is an oversimplification in most situations where it is way more complicated than that. While as a person transitions into adulthood there will certainly be more options to distance yourself from terrible people (I assume), most people will still be financially dependent on their parents or guardians for some time. And when that's cut off early because someone's LGBT, everything goes to crap. And some people live in small towns or regions that are so embedded in their anti-gay beliefs, where getting cut off from their parent's support could also mean ostracization from the entire community, and not finding anyone else to help them.

For some people it does NOT get better.

Last edited by Sienrar; 22nd May 2017 at 08:11 PM..
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