Important: Youth Coming out Seminar- NEED HELP!

I don't know if you are aware, the is a section of coming out stories.

http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out-stories.php

You may want to look at them. Good luck at the conference.

 

stages of grief are; Denial, disbelief, anger then acceptance my mom has come full circle my dad just started on the last stage.

 

Err that's slightly incomplete. The stages of grief are actually the same stages that are dealt with at death. Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression, Acceptance.

My own mother only got to stage three before I went back in the closet frankly...first she denied it, then she tried stuff like "date girls or don't date at all", and then she was in an anger spiral until I said I wasn't gay. -_-

 

That sounds really neat. Congrats on getting the opportunity.


-How and Why coming out can be difficult for parents

My family is pretty religious. My dad was a convert and my mom experienced a revival of sorts. Our church doesn't approve of homosexuality. We host events from groups like Answers in Genesis to put things into perspective. So on one side of things, my parents have had to reconcile their faith with my sexuality. My dad hasn't struggled(to my knowledge). He pretty much just accepted as my life and my choice. He believes its wrong but so long as I don't "bring it home" he's ok. On the other hand, it's been a struggle for my mom. She wanted me to join ex-gay groups early on but now she's reached the point where she wants me to be happy even if she isn't comfortable with it.

Beyond religion, theres their upbringing. My dad was socialized to be disgusted by any same sex behavior and it wasn't acknowledged on my mom's side. The first same-sex relationship(that was always labeled a 'friendship') on that side was during my teen years. Essentially, they were socialized to not be ok with it or at the very least to not acknowledge it.

- what are the stages of grief?
I would guess they are the typical stages. My parents haven't exactly come to accept my sexuality.

- What should you do with religious parents?
I'm not sure I have the best advice here.

I've chosen to give my family time. I don't know if that's the best strategy or not. With my mother I just remind her now and then "Hey so I went on a date last night" or so "are so and so still together?" My dad werent close growing up, so I haven't really pressed it.

That said, the one thing that worked really well for me was to be firm. I didn't waiver when I came out. I told her that I was not going to see any ex-gay group. Being firm and making it personal I think helped her drop any idea that I could still turn straight.


- How do you know when it is a good idea and when it is a bad idea to come out to parents?

Assuming we're talking about families that won't be accepting, it just depends, IMHO. If you think they will cut you off, I'd probably wait until I was financially independent. If they won't cut you off, then whenever you confident enough in yourself to stand firm and handle their questions/critiques.


And information that is
- Anything important to the coming out process
- Deals with the benefits AND dangers of coming out


I'll get back to you on stories. I need to think about that a bit more.