Straight man 'comes out' to family, feigns life as gay man for 1 year

It's...interesting but at the same time not sure how I feel about this. It's admirable but at the same time slightly frustrated at him, but the fact he admitted he doesn't really have a true understanding of what it's like at least gave me a bit of respect.

 

Wouldn't be surprised if he only did it to make a quick buck off this book.

 

Hmm, I'm on the fence about this one. Leaning more towards that this is actually offensive, and he's just doing it for publicity.

They've done this with fat suits, painted people's skin darker to imitate being of race. Pretty much everything. So, now, it's pretending to be gay. I guess....I understand "walking a mile in someone's shoes" but I don't understand why we should even have to imagine what it's like, obviously people are different, so why not just treat everyone with respect anyways....?!? Am I really asking too much? Is it really that difficult?

Am I just being stupid...I don't understand the logic at all behind it? At least he admitted he doesn't truly understand. Still though... I'm actually feeling a tad angry now, like he just wanted to make some money off the book, also as if it was staged. "My family were very supportive… they treated me with the love and respect I expected," he said." it doesn't even sound like he's experienced any prejudice or homophobia from this social experiment..... whatever. I'm not buying his book. So, what do I care.

 

Even if he had ulterior motives for doing it, I think that living as a gay person for a year probably taught him a lot.

I think it's more likely that his motives were complex. Probably, his friend's coming out experience made him want to understand--that is the usual reason that people change their minds about gay people. So, he wanted to understand what his friend was going through, and somehow he got the idea to live as a gay person and see what it was like. This idea was probably followed closely by the thought that he could then write a book about it.

We're talking about something he did every day, all day, for an entire year of his life. He surely must have had many reasons for doing it, and not only one.

Anyway, in the end, I think I'm mostly in favor of people making an effort to understand, no matter why they're doing it.

 

Like others, my initial response was pretty much to be slightly offended. However, in the end I think I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. It seems that his book will at least be sympathetic and supportive of the cause, whether or not that was his ultimate intention.

I decided to give him a pass as a result of his statement about not REALLY knowing what it was like to be gay. That made it more acceptable to me, so at least he understood that.

It's one thing to be straight and pretend to be gay, knowing that any time - when things get really tough - you can get up and walk away. You can go right back to your heterosexual privilege. It's another thing to be gay, and know that you can embrace that heterosexual privilege... it just involves you living a lie. It's also one thing to be straight, and to hear an anti-gay remark, and another thing to be in the closet and to hear that same remark. The feelings you experience are just profoundly different. For the straight guy, to hear such a remark - say from his father - at best he is offended. For a gay guy, to hear that same remark from his father - it's like a knife to the heart.

Even so, maybe he learned something useful from his experience. If he really started out as homophobic, and this changed his view - then I say ultimately it was a net positive.

 

The coming out was a nice act of solidarity. I'm torn about to the "gayborhood" part. It just makes it look too easy.

 

I think some of my more bigoted acquaintances would do well to follow Mr. Kurek's example.