25 Things A Father Wants to Let His Sons Know

Hiems · Sep 9, 2012

This is not completely LGBT related, except for #17. But I thought this father's thoughts are poignant and honest. I'm bookmarking this article as a reference to reflect upon in the future, when I can be a dad one day too =)

25 Things I Want My Sons To Know

1. It’s harder to take a punch than to throw one.

2. Find the people who make you laugh and follow them around like a golden retriever. Laughing is like a vitamin. You can never get enough of it.

3. A guy who hugs a lot is comfortable in his own skin.

4. Read poetry.

5. There’s nothing wrong with looking at porn, but having sex with someone you care about is a thousand times more fun.

6. When you feel like crying, for joy or out of pain, let 'er rip. If you don’t get those tears out, they will calcify in your chest and make it harder to love as fully and deeply as you would like to.

7. Crank the tunes when you have to clean the house.

8. Look deeply into the eyes of the one you are falling for to get a glimpse of his or her soul.

9. Spend a chunk of time every year with people who are much less fortunate than you are. It will fill your heart with gratitude.

10. Never lie about anything really important. The first lie will cause you to have to lie again and again to cover up the truth. And each time you’ll chip away an important piece of yourself.

11. Find work that makes you happy. If you can change the world in the process all the better.

12. If you get the chance to travel across the country or across the globe, take it. You will learn way more from people who are different from you than the ones who are the same.

13. Doing nothing is better than doing the wrong thing. But you are going to make mistakes. Tons of them. The real question is what you will learn from them.

14. Don’t be in any rush to get married. Divorce really sucks. A good marriage can start when you’re 21 or 61.

15. There’s nothing wrong with a Cuban cigar once in a while.

16. Money and power look good, but they won’t fill your being with joy the way your family will.

17. If you like guys, I will fight for your ability to have equal rights in every way.

18. Find a way to move your body that gives you pleasure. You don’t have to be an athlete to be a man, but your body is a temple and you need to care for it, enjoy it, and use it to express yourself.

19. Drinking can be fun in moderation. Just make sure to ask for help if you find yourself blacking out or doing things you regret.

20. Radical honesty will get you very far in this world. Most people don’t have the guts to speak their mind, regardless of the consequences.

21. Always give your spouse birthday presents in bed.

22. Find a spirituality that you can wear like a loose coat that keeps you warm no matter the weather. God should provide you comfort not make you feel ashamed of yourself.

23. Sex is great but holding your spouse in the middle of the night is one of the best feelings any guy can have.

24. Live passionately. Dream big. Don’t back down.

25. Always remember I love you, no matter what happens. You cannot lose me. I will always be there.

-- Written by Tom Matlack for The Good Men Project
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IrisM · Sep 9, 2012

This person seems like the sort of parent I wish I'd had.

IrishLad93 · Sep 9, 2012

IrisM said: ↑

This person seems like the sort of parent I wish I'd had.
Click to expand...

Yes, same here.

My dads an asshole.

gobadgers · Sep 9, 2012

Really touching. Not sure I'm ever going to have kids, but I've started writing down some things I want to give my nephew (who is 1) when he graduates college about what it's like to be in your 20s. Think that kind of sentiment is lost on a lot of people but i think it's important

AtheistWorld · Sep 9, 2012

There should be more fathers like this one.

Jared · Sep 9, 2012

IrishLad93 said: ↑

IrisM said: ↑

This person seems like the sort of parent I wish I'd had.
Click to expand...

Yes, same here.

My dads an asshole.
Click to expand...

Ditto

blightedsight · Sep 10, 2012

1. No it's not. I mean, sure it's hard to punch correctly - most people tuck their thumbs wrong which often causes you to break it, but, no, pouring liquid into a bowl is much easier...unless you're predisposed to be violent anyway(By the way, I'm assuming "make a punch" means the drink).

2. False. Yes, you want to keep people you enjoy close, but if you follow anyone like a golden retriever, they'll grow tired of you. Yes, you can never get enough of laughing BUT you don't want to be some faithful dog in a relationship - thats when people start taking you for granted or advantage of you.

3. In my experience, a guy who hugs alot has issues of loneliness and dependancy. Hug those you love by all means, but know that hugging too much will push away people too, especially those that don't like to be hugged!

4. Fair enough, but, in this modern world of TV's, DVD's and the internet, I would widen that to simply "read". Movies and TV are fantastic, if done correctly, but still, neither of them soar the heights of ones own imagination when reading a good book.

5. Depends on the porn and your relationship with sex. I won't burden you by telling you sex is the most amazing thing because, quite frankly, alot of the time, sex feels like a chore, where as a wank is something you do for yourself, with yourself at your own pace.

6. Time and place for crying...thats usually in the shower when no one can see you.
Clearly I am joking. I actually kind of agree with this one, except I don't think holding back the tears hardens you, but I do think when you do, you get frustrated and it erupts from you in other ways.

7. Just be mindful of your neighbours.

8. BUT don't look too long, there is a fine line between staring romantically and being "Jimmy Psycho" and your partner running for the hills.

9. But don't do it JUST to feel good about your own life because thats how you end up becoming a patronising tit. Do it because you want to help others and feel you can. Also, even though they are "less fortunate"(whatever that means), treat them as your equal, because they are.

10. I agree <- that was me lying. Make sure that you lie for the right reasons. Granted, sometimes lying is the easy, but incorrect option, but sometimes, telling a lie is better in that moment than facing the truth. Learn to tell the truth when you're ready and be comfortable with it.

11. Find work that pays well. Most people never find work that they enjoy, and it can lead to depression if they believe they should. No, find work that pays you enough money to enjoy your life outside of work. Work is work. If you still can change the world while doing it, then all the better...unless that work makes you a greasy politician, then I'll disown you.

12. In the modern world, you don't have to travel far to meet people different from you. Definitely travel, but also realise that where you live, be it a town or a city, there are people with different ideas to you, different ways of living. Embrace your community and help the people in it.

13. Doing the wrong thing, for the right reasons is far better than doing nothing, especially if you have the capacity to learn. Always trust your gut, though. It is most attuned to who you are as a person, so will generally lead you in the right direction.

14. BUT when you do meet that right person, make sure you hold onto them and tell them you love them every day. Don't wait for special occasions like Christmas or Valentines day for this. If you don't make your partner feel special often, then you need to reevaluate how you treat them.

15. BUT there is definitely something wrong with the cancer it can potentially lead to. Make sure if you live somewhere that requires health insurance, you get the best you can.

16. Make as much money as you can when you can but don't ever choose money over love.

17. If you like guys - rubber up. If you like women - rubber up.

18. OR earn an absolute fortune then live a life you choose and simply pay a doctor to make your body right. Liposuction is not a dirty word.

19. Don't buy rounds, especially for groups of 4 or more. You'll always find someone isn't reciprocating. Also, the occasional bender that results in a blackout isn't so bad, just make sure you do it somewhere safe, somewhere that you know and with people you trust.

20. Radical honesty will get you very far, at the cost of friends. As with anything, moderation is key. Most people can't accept absolute honesty and will find it difficult to be with someone who is absolutely honest. Choose the time and place to say what you believe...and remember, his/her bum NEVER looks big in that.

21. And always do the dishes for them...but in the kitchen.

22. OR be comfortable in the knowledge that there is no God, and that you only have 1 life to live. Find the freedom in that and enjoy what you have.

23. Just make sure you don't wake them up - it's unlikely they'll be pleased with you waking them in the middle of the night because you wanted a hug.

24. Don't set too many goals for yourself. A life filled with goals is likely to be a life filled with disappointment. Dream of the impossible, instead.

25. I agree.

26. Ask your mum for a DNA test - something isn't right here.
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My advice to my sons - for my daughters I only have one.

1. You're not leaving your room until you're 30, and even then, I'm coming with you. I know what boys want!
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OR, if I ever have kids, I'm just gonna put Baz Luhrmanns Sunscreen on repeat.

PurpleCrab · Sep 10, 2012

Pfff.. the reply/come-back is soooo bitter, I don't know who wrote it. It tries to ruin the very nice, deep, heart felt message that is the original text from Mr Tom Matlack.

Actually it doesn't. I'm a dad and those are some of the things I will try to teach my kids, hoping that in the future I haven't become too bitter myself to believe them. BUT, I'm very childish in my times so my beliefs should be kept fresh

J Snow · Sep 10, 2012

If only parents were like this in reality =/

Lewis · Sep 10, 2012

Not sure whether my dad is like this or not, he really keeps his feelings to himself. I'd like to believe that he would echo the words of #17...

SunSparks · Sep 10, 2012

Cornella93 said: ↑

IrishLad93 said: ↑

IrisM said: ↑

This person seems like the sort of parent I wish I'd had.
Click to expand...

Yes, same here.

My dads an asshole.
Click to expand...

Ditto
Click to expand...

Tritto? Is that how the word works?

IrishLad93 · Sep 10, 2012

SunSparks said: ↑

Cornella93 said: ↑

IrishLad93 said: ↑

IrisM said: ↑

This person seems like the sort of parent I wish I'd had.
Click to expand...

Yes, same here.

My dads an asshole.
Click to expand...

Ditto
Click to expand...

Tritto? Is that how the word works?
Click to expand...

Haha, maybe?

It does now!

25 Things A Father Wants to Let His Sons Know

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