1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The moral case for sex before marriage

Discussion in 'Current Events, World News, & LGBT News' started by Pret Allez, Sep 24, 2012.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Pret Allez

    Pret Allez
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So, the following article is from the pretty much awesome-all-the-time feminist, Jill Filipovic. The article doesn't mention any sexuality specifically, but I think it's still important because it bears upon the painfully banal fact that many of us cannot get married to those we love or come to love. Although it is addressed to heterosexuals, it is still politically important to us that this mesage gets around. She's not telling us that we must have sex before marriage, but rather that the culture which tells us we must wait is extremely problematic.

    Here's a random passaged that I liked:


    We're obsessed with sex on television, in music and in advertisements, but we somehow lack the ability to talk about sex as a positive, moral, pleasure-affirming choice that, like any other adult decision, comes with a set of responsibilities. And when government money is going toward telling people to just wait until marriage, we are literally funding an idea that has never worked in all of human history, instead of supporting tried-and-true policies that could mitigate the harm of a sex-obsessed, but pleasure-starved, culture.

    If waiting until marriage were simply an individual choice with no political consequences or backdrop – if it were as arbitrary a marker as waiting until the third date, waiting until you knew your partner's middle name or waiting until she wore really awesome high heels – it wouldn't be a problem. And personally, I don't really care when you, as an individual, choose to have sex. As long as you feel ready and it's consensual, I say you do you. But "waiting until marriage" as a cultural phenomenon – albeit one that isn't actually happening for nearly everyone in the western world – has some nasty views about women and sex lurking behind it. Using "purity" as shorthand for "doesn't have sex" by definition means that people, and mostly women, who have sex before marriage are impure, dirty or tainted.     ​
    Original source. Please follow the link if you want the internal citations.
     
    #1 Pret Allez, Sep 24, 2012
  2. J Snow

    J Snow
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    1,376
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ames, Iowa
    Back when I was in Catholic school I was convinced I would wait until marriage to have sex.

    Now I've taken in the radical idea that people should get married because they want to have a life together and not just because they would to interlock genitalia.
     
    #2 J Snow, Sep 24, 2012
  3. Gold Griffin

    Gold Griffin
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2012
    Messages:
    362
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Our erotophobic society is an abomination against nature. If sexuality were not treated as taboo, there would not be this twisted "obsession of the forbidden" coupled with a puritanical anti-sex attitude that is at the root of so many of our society's problems.
     
    #3 Gold Griffin, Sep 24, 2012
  4. Owen

    Owen
    In Loving Memory Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2007
    Messages:
    613
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    There's one exchange from The Big Bang Theory that summarizes my views on sex and waiting quite well. The characters were talking about action figures that they had kept in their box since buying them:

    Sheldon: They’re mint in box.
    Leonard: They’re Collectables.
    Penny: C’mon can’t we just open one up and take a…
    Together: No!
    Leonard: Once you open the box it loses its value.
    Penny: Yeah, yeah, my mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. Gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it.

    (from Series 5 Episode 20 – "The Transporter Malfunction")
     
    #4 Owen, Sep 24, 2012
  5. BradThePug

    BradThePug
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Messages:
    6,573
    Likes Received:
    288
    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I went to a public school and they taught me that...

    On the second point, I couldn't agree with you more.
     
    #5 BradThePug, Sep 24, 2012
  6. PurpleCrab

    PurpleCrab
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2012
    Messages:
    543
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sherbrooke, QC Canada
    I'm very against doing any special efforts to keep virginity intact before marriage.
    Now I will never judge somebody who is not ready to have sex until late in their lives, or asexual people, or people who are too picky to find somebody/have no opportunities for sex.

    What I'm against is the idea that by having sex you ruin, destroy something. It's all the contrary!! A good healthy sex life is very much so part of a good balanced life and nobody should hold back on their desires solely because of some fake morals.

    Added: I'm talking about mutual consenting adults here. Just thought that's necessary to mention.
     
    #6 PurpleCrab, Sep 26, 2012
  7. Fugs

    Fugs
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2011
    Messages:
    1,614
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Marriage is about babies and sex, nothing more. Silly people :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #7 Fugs, Sep 26, 2012
  8. spectrumsigner

    spectrumsigner
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2012
    Messages:
    137
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Middle o' Nowhere, North Carolina
    Hear, hear!! I love this article.
     
    #8 spectrumsigner, Sep 26, 2012
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)