LGBT News Man ‘guilty’ of fraud for not telling girlfriend he was trans

So not only was he found guilty of a crime but now he's on a 'sex offenders' register'? That's even more worrying.

 

He did lie about his age...

 

So did she.

 

Shrug. Cisgender people created this problem for themselves.

 

That is deffenently worrying

 

Do you have an article? This seems a bit confusing.

Either way, if he was pursuing underaged women then he deserves to be charged that reason. Though I do agree that these laws of "Sexual Fraud" need to be removed.

But both girls were minors. If he wasnt a minor and she lied about her age, then he is still at fault legally.

 

I think he should face charges for misrepresenting his age. Telling a (he thought) 16-year-old that he is 17 when he was actually 22 was not cool at all, in my opinion.

Also, this seems to have been a relationship, not just a sexual encounter. I can understand that finding out that someone you've been seeing is both much older than he represented himself, and also trans, when he hasn't shared that with you, could be very upsetting, and since the people in question are teenagers, even traumatizing, simply because of the feeling of betrayal and deception. It's very upsetting to learn that someone you are in a relationship with is keeping major secrets from you. And I think that being trans is such a major thing in people's lives that I don't see how keeping it a secret from your partner could be considered trivial.

I don't think trans people should face legal repercussions for not revealing their history to a partner, but I do think it's a bad idea to have a secret that major from anyone you are really in a relationship with, and I'm uncomfortable with how young the girls in this story are, especially since they are equally young in both cases.

I feel like he was attracted to younger girls because of feeling that they are more naive, and less sexually confident--he could stay in control better of what happened sexually, so that they wouldn't notice his physical body (since he had apparently not transitioned). To me, that is a really uncool reason to be choosing young girls as your partners. It's wrong to select partners for being easy to control or deceive.

 

That's pretty messed up that he lied about his age to minors but the whole 'obtaining sexual intimacy by fraud' thing in those other cases is bs.

It's not fraud to exist as yourself and that one guy getting jailed for it is insane. Cis gender bodies aren't somehow more valid or trans bodies so disgusting that clearly we should just all understand that it's our responsibility to make everyone we date aware of our not being cis gender. I mean I think I would tell about my being trans in a relationship or a little after we started dating but I think every situations different and people have their reasons for decideing when to tell or not tell and I don't think it's the place of some court to judge when that's appropriate for trans people to do.

Natalie Reed made this point better than me but like I'm a non believer and I don't feel it should be thought of as a requirement for me to disclose that to everyone I go on a date with because if they are so uninterested, repulsed or not okay with dating non believers it's their responsibility to ask me not my responsibility to find a way to know their preferences or prejudices and tell them about it. I feel it's not the same but similar with being trans.

 

This. Having sex with a fifteen year-old (under false pretenses, no less) when you're twenty-two is statutory rape. Regardless of your gender.

I'm of two minds about this. On one hand, I understand the transgenderism issue and how touchy it is to talk to your sexual partners about it. On the other hand, if I was with someone and they deceived me like this, I would be fucking furious, and I would feel completely violated.

 

Yes, I agree with the age thing, but it's no one's business if someone is transgender unless they're comfortable telling them. I agree that someone should, in a perfect world, tell someone they are trans before going into a committed relationship, but sex is completely different.

They want to make this a law. They want to make it so trans people can be thrown into jail if they fail to tell someone they are transgender before sex. This isn't right. If someone enjoys one-night stands, they shouldn't have to tell strangers that they're transgender. It's none of their business. It shouldn't be a crime.

 

Yeah, but when you are NOT that other (biological) gender yet (pre-op/non-op?) representing yourself as the opposite gender when you're not - when you are basically "between genders" - is basically tricking a straight person into what they consider to be a gay relationship. (Not saying that's accurate, just saying that's how as a "straight guy" I essentially would have reacted if I thought I was dating a woman and it turned out that she was actually a biological he. And if she did not tell me before we reached a level of sexual intimacy....hoo boy.)

It doesn't matter what gender of brain you have between your ears - your "one night stand" only cares about the plumbing (or lack thereof) between your legs. So if they get the bait and switch, yeah, there's a real danger there.

Not disclosing their biological gender is one of the things that puts transgendered people and transsexuals at a greater risk for attack, as far as I'm concerned, especially from people they're not in a relationship with. Sure, I agree they shouldn't be required by law to do it, but if they had any kind of concern for their own safety, I believe they should make a habit of it.

 

I'd say fraud is a good description of this crime. In the US this would have been statutory rape. The girl would have refused if she knew he was transgender and 22. That's not transphobia, that's just a sexual preference.

 

The problem is he was a pedophile. Trans* or not he doesn't need to be out there trying to solicit sex from a minor. ALL parties involved in this were in the wrong. The only real issue is the "fraud" there was an age fraud, but not a gender fraud. Sadly this only adds support to the stereotype that trans* people are all sexual predators....

 

Exactly! Although I don't believe that pedophile is the correct term. I believe the term should be ephebophilia since the girl was 15. Regardless of the term, I'm not okay with adults having sex with minors

 

I'll be honest even as a closet trans* and understanding WHY you wouldn't want to come out to someone you're in a relationship with, you should. Especially if you're in the middle of transitioning and NEVER lie about your age. Put in the same situation as the girl that had sex with him, I would be out for blood if someone took advantage of me that way, because most likely the only reason she lied about her age was due to societal focus on sex=love and she probably had strong feelings for him and felt pressured to lie.

 

Nice transphobia and this mentality is shallow too. Sorry, you're free not to like male plumbing. That bit is not transphobic. It got transphobic when you referred to the theoretical trans woman as a man. Also, reacting with disgust to the idea of being with a trans woman is also transphobic. Dating a trans woman is like dating a woman. A lot of trans women who wish for SRS even refuse to have sex until they're post-op, which means a lot of these fears are mostly the result of your own views of transgender people; therein lies the problem with this law and your post: summarizing transgender people into genitals and nothing else. It doesn't matter to you if a woman is funny, intelligent, or cute. All that matters is her genitals.

 

Actually, this is a trans MAN in the story, is it not? A woman who is transitioning into a man? :dry: So was I not referring to him as his preferred gender?

As for my example before, that's why I specified "biological he". It's an acknowledgement of the fact that the person's gender does not align with their biological sex. It's not an insult, it's just a fact.

And no, I was not reacting with disgust to the idea of being with a trans-woman. I was reacting with disgust to the idea that someone would try to trick me into having sex with them because they were too chickenshit to tell me the truth about their biological gender. At what point does a trans-person's discomfort with telling their sexual partner the truth trump the discomfort of their partner being actively lied to?

We're not talking about a trans-woman refusing to have sex until she's post-op. We're talking about a trans-man who lied about both his biological gender and his age in order to sleep with a couple of teenaged girls.

So you think that people should not be allowed to NOT have a sexual preference for transgendered/transsexual people? Because that sounds suspiciously like guys not being allowed to have a sexual preference for other guys (and NOT girls) or girls for other girls (and NOT guys).

Why is it okay for a gay guy to say he does not want to sleep with a woman, or a lesbian to say she does not want to sleep with a man, but it's not okay for someone to say they don't want to sleep with someone who is transsexual or transgendered? Sorry, androgyny is not appealing to everyone.

We're talking about sex here - genitals DO matter, or gay guys wouldn't care about sleeping with women, and lesbians wouldn't care about sleeping with men. It's not like they want to fuck their masculine/feminine personalities.

We're also talking about disclosure of transgenderism/transsexualism in short-term relationships (aka "should trans-people be obligated to tell one night stands about their transgenderism?") because if you're in a long-term relationship and you haven't told someone you're transgendered/transsexual, you're fucking them over in a totally different way.

I'm not saying any of this to make trans-people feel bad. I'm saying it because it's an honest conversation that needs to be had, apparently. Otherwise trans-people are going to keep getting arrested for this kind of thing.

People need to understand why it is NOT okay to lie about this (at least in my opinion). Even by omission.

It has nothing to do with transphobia. It has to do with being honest with the people you're intimate with, and how your honesty (or lack thereof) reflects on the entire trans-community.

 

Well, here, it's quite simple. As cisgender people, we have privilege, and just to name a few, they include not having the fear of violence or rejection because our body configuration does not match our gender. You're afraid of getting "icked" out. They are afraid of getting killed, having their identities erased, and being completely rejected more or less like gay and bisexual men with HIV have the worry about being completely rejected. The discomforts are not even in the same field to be reasonably compared.

None of this makes lying about it morally right. What it does mean, though, is that we need to look at what we do as cisgender people to punish honesty. I would submit that we have a pretty large role in creating and perpetuating this problem, and I think the takeaway needs to be how we're going to help transgender people be accepted and actualized in our communities.

 

I totally agree with this. I imagine anyone would be mad if they got duped into sex with someone with their junk. I'd never do anything with anyone mid-transision, that could be bad for both parties