LGBT News Missouri man arrested at hospital for refusing to leave gay partner

Aldrick · Apr 11, 2013

A gay man was arrested at a hospital in Missouri this week when he refused to leave the bedside of his partner, and now a restraining order is preventing him from any type of visitation.

Roger Gorley told WDAF that even though he has power of attorney to handle his partner’s affairs, a family member asked him to leave when he visited Research Medical Center in Kansas City on Tuesday.

Gorley said he refused to leave his partner Allen’s bedside, and that’s when security put him in handcuffs and escorted him from the building.

“I was not recognized as being the husband, I wasn’t recognized as being the partner,” Gorley explained.

He said the nurse refused to confirm that the couple shared power of attorney and made medical decision for each other.

“She didn’t even bother to look it up, to check in to it,” the Lee’s Summit resident recalled.

In a 2010 memorandum, President Barack Obama ordered hospitals that receive Medicare or Medicaid funding to allow visitation rights for gay and lesbian partners.

....

Gorley cannot currently visit his partner at all due to a restraining order issued after his arrest on Tuesday.
Click to expand...

You can read the full story here.

Theagonist · Apr 11, 2013

Fuck In live in this state -_-

NateDawg · Apr 11, 2013

Me too Theagonist. me too.

LailaForbidden · Apr 11, 2013

I'm disgusted at this country of ours. America, when will you reclaim your humanity?

RainbowMan · Apr 11, 2013

I don't live in this state anymore, but I'm from it. Makes me embarrassed to be.

Rexmond · Apr 11, 2013

My headache is worse now...

ForgottenRose · Apr 11, 2013

It's stuff like this that makes Canada sound like a paradise...

greatwhale · Apr 11, 2013

I've mentioned elsewhere about my gay friend who has been to his husband's side for the past 9 months. It was touch and go for several weeks when his husband was in a coma, but my friend drove the 4 hours a day to be with him, he advocated for his husband, finding experimental meds, and cleaning his bedsores...

How cruel to separate partners like that, how fucking cruel!

Aldrick · Apr 11, 2013

It actually gets worse.... much worse. Here is an interview with someone who was there.

I just spoke with Amanda Brown, 26, the daughter of Roger Gorley, who was handcuffed and dragged away from the bed of his husband, Allen Mansell, at the Research Medical Center in Lee’s Summit, Missouri on Tuesday.

Amanda, who was in the hospital room when her father, Roger, was taken away by the police, directly contradicts the hospital’s claim that Roger needed to be removed because he was “disruptive.”

She also accuses the police of wearing gloves, and worrying that her father had AIDS, simply because he was gay.

....

According to Amanda, her father Roger had every reason to be disruptive at his husband’s hospital bedside – his authority as Allen’s spouse, and thus the person in charge of Allen’s medical decisions, were Allen unable to make them himself, was being challenged by Allen’s brother, Lee, in the presence of a nurse.

Roger has Allen’s medical power of attorney, so there should have been no question as to who was legally responsible for care decisions.

....

What’s more, the nurse, according to daughter Amanda, knew Roger and Allen. Amanda say the nurse must have known that Roger was Allen’s designated representative, as they had been to the hospital many times before, and had been treated by the same nurse.

“The nurse knew who my farther was, she knew who Allen was,” Amanda told me by phone. “She had treated Allen before, and dad had been there before, dad had signed off on medical treatments before. She should have had all the information on file.”

Amanda says that the nurse had her father removed because of the loud disagreement her father was having with his partner’s brother, Lee, who had arrived at the hospital room at the same time as her father.

Rather than intervene and inform the brother that Roger was in fact the designated representative of his gay partner, the nurse had Roger removed. This, in spite of Allen reportedly saying from his hospital bed that he wanted his husband to stay in the room with him.

“Allen said he wanted dad in the room,” Amanda told me. “He said ‘I want him here’” as the nurse was asking Roger to leave.

When I asked Amanda if the nurse was possibly not aware of what the fight was about, Amanda responded: “She knew what was going on.”

....

“Lee was being more crazy than my dad, he was the one who was yelling,” Amanda said. No matter. According to Amanda, the nurse “directed her comments to Roger, ‘you need to leave the room.’ My dad said, ‘no, this is my husband, I’m going to stay with him.”

That’s when the hospital called the police to remove Roger, in spite of the fact that Amanda says Allen specifically asked for Roger to be permitted to stay.

....

Amanda’s account of the police’s treatment of her father, which she posted to her blog, is chilling:

When the Kansas City Missouri Police Department arrived they asked my father to leave the room. He said to them, “No. This is my husband and I am going to stay with him.”

The police considered that a violation of a direct order, so they began to forcibly remove him from the room. My father held onto the rail of the gurney as well as his husbands hand with everything he had. The police responded with brut and excessive force. The office began karate chopping his wrist to get him to release the gurney. Then they wrestled him to the ground forcefully enough to knock his glasses off of his face, his hearing aids out of his ears, and nearly break his wrist while they took him down. To handcuff him, they pushed a knee into his back and wrenched his wrists around.

It didn’t end there. The police changed his handcuffs 4 times! They assumed because he was a gay man that he was HIV+. When they drew blood from accosting him in such a brutal manner they freaked out. One of the arresting officers was so offended by my father’s presence that he would not touch him with his bare hands. He wore gloves the entire time and to make matters even more humiliating he didn’t want his handcuffs back. He grabbed them with gloves on, then another layer of gloves pinched between his index finger and thumb as he handed them off to another officer. The officer taking the handcuffs looked at him like he was crazy and just grabbed the handcuffs with no issue.
Click to expand...

Interestingly, later the hospital also asked Lee, the man who was fighting with Roger, to leave as well. Why? Because it was Allen, the hospital patient, who asked for Lee to leave. For some reason, this time the hospital was willing to abide by Allen’s wishes regarding who should be with him. But not when his wishes were for his gay partner to remain.

“Allen was in and out of consciousness,” Amanda told me. “He didn’t want his brother in the room, so he asked his brother to leave. He [the brother] wasn’t calming down,” even after Roger was taken away in handcuffs.

Amanda says the hospital did let her father back in to see his husband today, after her father showed up and threw a fit. Amanda says the family is “planning to respond,” and has been talking with the local ACLU, among others.
Click to expand...

Read everything here.

Adarya · Apr 11, 2013

This shouldn't be happening, but yet it is and in truth it is cruel.

Ticklish Fish · Apr 11, 2013

really now?
stereotype on 21st century? seriously?

this is so stupid.

so should I assume that the nurses have whatever stereotypes now?

Winfield · Apr 11, 2013

WTF? man reading this story has freaking pissed me off... that stupid nurse needs a good beating up!!!! if i were amanda i wouldve attcked her... f**ken b***h knew about Roger and Allen and did nothing? thats homophobia for you!!! Roger needs to press charges on those muth F***ers!!!! Couldnt they hear Allen saying for Roger to stay? and Lee needs to learn to shut up...i know its his brother and all but yelling at roger? wtf?

man i dont even know these guys but im really angry about it... man if those cops were near me i'd show them a thing or two with out gloves!!!

Hope Allen gets well and Greg is alright

ps: sorry if i offended anyone.. i guess i kinda get fired up when it involves homophobia

Unknown5 · Apr 11, 2013

forgottenrose said: ↑

it's stuff like this that makes canada sound like a paradise...
Click to expand...

ikr!!!

Femmeme · Apr 11, 2013

This makes me want to cry and punch something at the same time.

Aldrick · Apr 11, 2013

There is some good news around justice being served, at least toward the hospital / nurse.

....

At President Obama's direction during his first term, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius issued regulations mandating that hospitals that receive Medicaid or Medicare funds allow patients the right to have visitors of their choosing, regardless of sexual orientation.

Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS), which enforces the regulations through coordination with the states, is looking into the situation. CMS spokesman Brian Cook told BuzzFeed Thursday afternoon, "CMS is aware of this specific issue and we are working to gather the facts and determine what steps to take in a speedy manner."

"All Americans are guaranteed the right to receive hospital visitors that they designate, and there are specific protections in our rules for same-sex couples across the country," Cook added. "We take alleged violations of federal rules around hospital visitation very seriously."

Guidance issued by CMS on the regulations includes the following: "When a patient who is not incapacitated has designated, either orally to hospital staff or in writing, another individual to be his/her representative, the hospital must involve the designated representative in the development and implementation of the patient's plan of care."
Click to expand...

The article can be read in full here.

---------- Post added 11th Apr 2013 at 11:54 PM ----------

Alright, more good news. Amanda's blog post is finally working. The website crashed from all the excessive traffic. I'm reposting it here in full, in case the site crashes again. If the site remains up you can view her account of what went down here.

Arrested at Hospital: Just for wanting to hold his partner’s hand
Posted by Amanda Brown on April 11, 2013

I have spent every day of my life since I was 15 years old fighting for equal rights amongst ALL people let alone those who are attracted to the same sex. My father, Roger Gorley, and his husband, Allen Mansell have been married for nearly 5 years. They have shared a home together, purchased cars together, have all of their investments, and any other paperwork taken care of to be considered a real marriage under the law. In the state of Missouri civil unions are not recognized but many same-sex couples go ahead and follow through with the paperwork and register it with the state so they can be recognized as a significant life partner to the other person in moments such as these and especially after the death of their loved one. My fathers did this. They did all of the paperwork so something like what I’m about to tell you happened would never happen to them.

Allen has suffered from a variety of illnesses over his life but one in particular is severe depression. He has been dealing with this for over 20 years and has done an amazing job at it. He has seen a psychiatrist regularly, maintained a well-paying job with the government, taken care of not only himself but his family members, and after making a big move from San Francisco back home to Lee’s Summit, MO he found the love of his life, Roger Gorley.

I remember when they met. It was like an instant love connection and I was so happy for my dad. They had their ups and downs as any couple would but nothing outrageous. About 6 months ago Allen’s depression reached an all time low. We didn’t know what to do. The medications were no longer working and he wasn’t able to continue his job with the GSA. So he retired to focus on his health. His psychiatrist thought that ECT would be the best solution for him since all other treatments had been exhausted and this has been found to be very effective among people with severe depression. They agreed to try the treatments and Roger took off of work every other Wednesday to be with his partner while he went through this scary procedure twice a month.

Allen’s family has never understood his condition, his medical treatments, and why it takes the amount of medication it does in order for him to maintain his ability to live from day to day. So last week when his brother Joe, with his wife and kids, came down from Virginia to see him this is when the family noticed for the first time how bad his depression can be. Joe already understood this and let Allen deal with it in his own way. He understood that his ECT, medications, and therapy sessions were out of whack due to the snow storm from way on back. (For those who do not understand ECT and how it works: Basically, you establish a schedule and if you deviate from that schedule in any way it can have catastrophic effects on the patient. Electro-shock therapy is a delicate therapy and is still controversial amongst people in the psychiatric community). Allen was not acting out of sorts for Allen. He was isolating, not wanting to be around people, and sleeping 10-14 hours a day. Which is not uncommon for people suffering from severe depression.

Allen made sure over the past 20 years to NOT involve his family in his medical care. NONE of them are on his HIPAA nor are any of them supposed to have any say over what happens to him medically. They have each been granted power of attorney over each other for medical decisions. This information is not only ON FILE with Research Medical Center, they are well known at the hospital and throughout the city as a proud gay couple. No one has ever had a problem until Tuesday 4/9/2012.

MONDAY 4/8/2013

Allen wasn’t doing very well. He was sluggish, slurring his speech, and unable to remember what he was doing. He suffers from extreme night sweats and diabetes. So when he sweats out majority of the water that’s in his body he will be dehydrated. So we force him to drink water, gatorade, etc. throughout the day in order to ensure he can function. Being diabetic doesn’t help. It causes his sluggish-ness and makes him extremely tired.

Adam and I came over to the house to fix dinner, help my dad take care of Allen (by doing laundry, cleaning etc). He wasn’t doing well for a normal person but he was doing alright for Allen. They had planned a trip to go to Amsterdam leaving at 3pm on 4/10 and coming back on 4/18. They had hidden this information from Allen’s family until about a week ago. The family has not been supportive of their relationship and they have hidden their vacations before from the family because they always try to get in the middle and mess everything up. They had been planning this trip for months and were looking forward to being in a city that was 100% accepting of gay couples. Where they could hold hands without getting strange looks, kiss each other in public, etc. At 9pm we left and they both were in bed asleep.

TUESDAY 4/9/2013

Allen and I spend the day together with my daughter at his house. He was still sluggish and slurring his words but doing better than he was the day before. I gave him the necessary medicine he needed at the appropriate times and we set off to go to get his hair cut and grab some cat food. He wanted to go and I didn’t see any reason not to. He’s an adult and knows how hard to push himself.

So we went to his hair stylist and visited with them for about an hour and then spent about 30 min at the local Hy-Vee getting cat food. His stylist noticed that he was observably slower and tired but after he explained what was going on they didn’t seem to concerned.

When we arrived at Allen and Roger’s home Lee, Allen’s brother who lives in town, was waiting at the front door. The Lee’s Summit Police followed right behind us. They were waiting for us to come home. Bombarded by 5 policemen Allen didn’t know what to do. He was exhausted from our outing and we were planning on him taking a nap as soon as we got home. So he allowed the police, his brother Lee, sister Pat, and 4 Paramedics into the house. It was utter chaos from the moment we opened our car doors.

Due to Allen’s state at that precise moment the police decided to take him to the hospital against his will stating he was a “danger to himself”. I immediately called my father and told him to leave work and get to the hospital. The paramedics and police were not listening to me they were listening to the brother and the sister.

The reason that listening to them was a big problem is because they have no idea what Allen’s medical conditions are, who his doctors are, and what hospital he is normally treated at. Allen and all of his doctors are located at St. Luke’s in Lee’s Summit MO. The ONLY reason he goes to Research Medical Center is for his ECT. I told the police and paramedics this 3 times! Not only that I know his medical conditions and what he needs NOT his siblings. My father and his husband trust me with this information because they know I will fight for their rights to each other. That I will never allow something like this to happen if I can help it. But when no one is listening no matter how hard you scream it will fall onto deaf ears.

After I pack up the house, my daughter, and arrange plans for someone to come and get her at the hospital because I have no idea how long I will need to be there we arrive all at the same time to see Allen received by the nursing staff and my Dad, Roger Gorley, follows him in along with Lee, Allen’s brother. This is when things started to get ugly.

Roger immediately rushed to Allen’s side, grabbed his hand, and reassured him everything will be ok. He will handle everything. He is in good hands and they will be going home as soon as possible. His brother Lee decided to say similar things but to also add in that he will not allow Roger to make these decisions and he will make sure everything is ok. Well that ignited the fire in my father that had been swelling up inside of him. He said, “No you won’t! This is my husband. I know what he wants and needs. You are never around. You need to leave.”

The nurse had had enough at this point and asked my father to leave. He gave her a surprised look back and said “No I’m staying with my husband.” She responded with “I know who you two are. You need to leave.” My father took this as she had treated Allen before, knew who my father was to him, and was making the decision that they didn’t have the right to one another as husband and husband. So instead of checking the file to see his power of attorney in his medical chart (they each have one for each other) she immediately called the police and had my father forcibly removed.

7pm CST

When the Kansas City Missouri Police Department arrived they asked my father to leave the room. He said to them, “No. This is my husband and I am going to stay with him.” The police considered that a violation of a direct order so they began to forcibly remove him from the room. My father held onto the rail of the gurney as well as his husbands hand with everything he had. The police responded with brut and excessive force. The office began karate chopping his wrist to get him to release the gurney. Then they wrestled him to the ground forcefully enough to knock his glasses off of his face, his hearing aids out of his ears, and nearly break his wrist while they took him down. To handcuff him they pushed a knee into his back and wrenched his wrists around.

It didn’t end there. The police changed his handcuffs 4 times! They assumed because he was a gay man that he was HIV+. When they drew blood from accosting him in such a brutal manner they freaked out. One of the arresting officers was so offended by my father’s presence that he would not touch him with his bare hands. He wore gloves the entire time and to make matters even more humiliating he didn’t want his handcuffs back. He grabbed them with gloves on, then another layer of gloves pinched between his index finger and thumb as he handed them off to another officer. The officer taking the handcuffs looked at him like he was crazy and just grabbed the handcuffs with no issue.

My father, Roger Gorley, is a kind compassionate man. He doesn’t loose his temper, has never expressed violence in anger, and is so sweet he can’t even make threats to people properly.

It took 3 hours to process him through the system and get him bailed out of jail. A $600 fine for disorderly conduct and trespassing and has a restraining order against him from the hospital saying he is not allowed to step foot back on the hospital grounds even to see his husband.

If anyone remembers back in 2010 when Obama made the new law across the board that same sex couples will be given the same rights as heterosexual ones when it came to visitation rights in the hospital you will know that this restraining order has no grounds and is completely illegal for the hospital to do. But as of right now my father is not allowed to see his partner in the hospital who wants nothing more than to hold his partners hand and tell him everything will be ok.

Wednesday 4/10/2013

Fox 4 news came over to interview my dad. He was exhausted. He had to cancel their trip to Amsterdam and lost nearly $3,000 because the Hotel would not refund their money even though they just wanted to reschedule for a later date. Travelocity customer service did the best job they could to get him all of the money back and although the representatives that helped us do not speak for the company they wanted to make sure we understood they did not approve of what had happened and hoped this matter would get resolved quickly so they could go on their first trip overseas together.

My father was incredibly exhausted so other than contacting lawyers and doing this interview not much had changed.

Thrusday 4/11/2013

The story has gone viral. Huffington Post, ABC News, CNN, and so many more have picked up the story. The ACLU is working with my father on a plan of action to see what we can do so they can be together again until Allen is let out of the hospital. He was offically admitted on Wednesday morning and is hopeful to getting out sometime Thursday, 4/11 or Friday, 4/12

Please contact Amanda Brown at ************ [I blocked out her phone number due to EC rules.] for more information on the story as it develops. Roger Gorley and Allen Mansell request that you respect their need for privacy and understand that in the end the only thing they want is equal rights under the law. The same protections and allowances that heterosexual couples receive. We both know that if this had been a man and his wife this would not have happened the way it did.

Author’s sidenote

I want to make sure the entire public knows that what I have said is 100% the truth. The hospital did not follow the steps they were supposed to in order to resolve this matter appropriately. The disregarded the patients HIPAA information as well as the power of attorney letter they have on file. Roger Gorley had signed off for many procedures at this hospital before this incident. There was no reason it needed to escalate to this point where Roger was arrested. He has no criminal history of any kind and has never disregarded a direct order from a police officer until that day. My father is an amazing man who has overcome many obstacles in his life and has finally found the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

We are all human beings. We are all born the same way. We should all have the same equal protections under the law regardless of sexual orientation. It is time America, to end this discrimination. It is time for every person to pursue happiness in whatever manner that person sees fit, as long as its safe, sane, and consensual there should be no problem. We are all capable of love. We are all in the pursuit of this at one point or another in our lives. If this was your partner would you have let go of their hand?

Update: 4/11/2013 4:20pm

According to Fox 4 News this is what Research Medical Center has released as a statement:

Research Medical Center says it can’t talk specifically about this case, but in a statement said:

We believe involving the family is an important part of the patient care process. And, the patient`s needs are always our first priority. When anyone becomes disruptive to providing the necessary patient care, we involve our security team to help calm the situation and to protect our patients and staff. If the situation continues to escalate, we have no choice but to request police assistance.

On Thursday, after the story received national attention, Research Medical Center reiterated that their priority is patient care. The following is a statement from Research Medical Center’s Denise Charpentier, VP of Marketing and Public Relations which said in part:

“Research Medical Center was one of the first hospitals in Kansas City to offer domestic partner benefits, which have been in place since 2005, and we have had a policy specifically acknowledging domestic partners’ visitation rights in place for years.

This was an issue of disruptive and belligerent behavior by the visitor that affected patient care. The hospital’s response followed the same policies that would apply to any individual engaged in this behavior in a patient care setting and was not in any way related to the patient’s or the visitor’s sexual orientation or marital status. This visitor created a barrier for us to care for the patient. Attempts were made to deescalate the situation. Unfortunately, we had no choice but to involve security and the Kansas City MO Police Department.”

This is absolute and utter bullshit. They did NOT treat them as equals under the law. My father was NOT the one being disruptive nor should have been the one arrested it was LEE, the brother. He is NOT on the HIPAA not does he have power of attorney. That is my FATHER, Roger Gorley, and him alone.

With this recent information Roger is going to try to see his partner tonight. We will update you with more information as we receive it.
Click to expand...

FranklinK · Apr 11, 2013

When I was visiting St. Louis with my partner at the time. He became violent at the bar so I tried to leave. He followed me out and started punching me. I woke up a few minutes later picked myself up off the sidewalk and I had a gash on my eyebrow. I called the police and they took us both in and made us sit in the same drunk tank. They put us in the same tank together and then the nurse at the jail told me that I needed sutures and sent me back to the tank. They let us out together as well. No charges were pressed on him or anything. There is no recognition of rights in that state for homosexuals. Needless to say I am no longer with that person and I will never go back to Missouri.

Emberstone · Apr 12, 2013

that restraining order is illegal. power of attourney trumps, and the nurse in question can be put on unpaid leave for breaking it.

Revan · Apr 14, 2013

I am honestly disgusted.

Aldrick · Apr 16, 2013

Missouri hospital ex-employee on gay beating case: ‘It makes news because of the f*gs’

A former employee of the Missouri hospital accused of having a gay man arrested and allowing him to be beaten while removing him from his husband’s bedside used homophobic language to defend the facility’s decision online, Americablog reported on Friday.

Screenshots captured by Americablog show Paula Grant, a former employee at Research Medical Center, saying in a comment thread on WDAF-TV’s Facebook page that the hospital was not discriminating against Roger Gorley and his partner Allen Mansell.

“I worked at Research Medical for years and I know the security guys,” Grant wrote on Thursday night. “They follow strict guidelines, male or female, family or not, if you are causing a scene you will be removed. There are other patients, employees and visitors. It makes news because of the f*gs.”

Americablog reported that Grant’s profiles on LinkedIn and Facebook confirm that she used to work at Research Medical, and now works at another subsidiary of its parent company, Hospital Corporation of America.

When another commenter criticized Grant’s use of the slur, Grant replied, “I can speak how I want when I’m away from my job. Doesn’t mean the employees are all standing around and discriminating. Remember free speech? Good night.”

Neither post was on the thread as of 7:25 p.m. EST.
Click to expand...

Read the rest of the story here.

I hope Paula Grant's employer saw what she wrote and gives her the boot.

BryanM · Apr 19, 2013

I feel bad to live in a state like this, sometimes. I hope someone looks into this and gets something done.

LGBT News Missouri man arrested at hospital for refusing to leave gay partner

Aldrick
Full Member

Theagonist
Regular Member

NateDawg
Full Member

LailaForbidden
Full Member

RainbowMan
Full Member

Rexmond
Full Member

ForgottenRose Guest

greatwhale
Full Member

Aldrick
Full Member

Adarya
Full Member

Ticklish Fish
Full Member

Winfield
Regular Member

Unknown5 Guest

Femmeme
Full Member

Aldrick
Full Member

FranklinK
Full Member

Emberstone
Full Member

Revan
Full Member

Aldrick
Full Member

BryanM
Full Member

LGBT News Missouri man arrested at hospital for refusing to leave gay partner

Thread Tools

Aldrick Full Member

Theagonist Regular Member

NateDawg Full Member

LailaForbidden Full Member

RainbowMan Full Member

Rexmond Full Member

ForgottenRose Guest

greatwhale Full Member

Aldrick Full Member

Adarya Full Member

Ticklish Fish Full Member

Winfield Regular Member

Unknown5 Guest

Femmeme Full Member

Aldrick Full Member

FranklinK Full Member

Emberstone Full Member

Revan Full Member

Aldrick Full Member

BryanM Full Member

Aldrick
Full Member

Theagonist
Regular Member

NateDawg
Full Member

LailaForbidden
Full Member

RainbowMan
Full Member

Rexmond
Full Member

greatwhale
Full Member

Aldrick
Full Member

Adarya
Full Member

Ticklish Fish
Full Member

Winfield
Regular Member

Femmeme
Full Member

Aldrick
Full Member

FranklinK
Full Member

Emberstone
Full Member

Revan
Full Member

Aldrick
Full Member

BryanM
Full Member