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LGBT News Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the years.

Discussion in 'Current Events, World News, & LGBT News' started by BradThePug, Jun 19, 2013.

  1. BradThePug

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  2. Tightrope

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    The issue is that the reparative therapy's objective varies for different religions, from conversion to abstaining. Neither are reasonable, and conversion involves outside parties. For conversion, it means duping a person of the opposite sex into being a facilitator for this experiment. The thing is that this person deserves to be loved by someone who loves them and is attracted to them effortlessly, and not someone who is trying to change their sexuality.
     
  3. vhrebels

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    That seemed really sincere. I read somewhere else that the dude in charge is forming a new organization to promote acceptance of homosexuals and inclusion into the church. I am actually really glad that they are trying to turn their ministry into something positive, because groups like this are the reason that I have had trouble accepting myself. I really hope that if they alter their message to something positive, it will help LGBT Christians understand that they have a loving and caring God. I just hope that they change their opinions to allow homosexuals to get married.
     
    #3 vhrebels, Jun 19, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 19, 2013
  4. Theodora

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  5. Chip

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    Wow. That's a pretty dramatic change. I remember when the founder of Exodus left and said, in effect, that their entire reason for existence was a sham, it caused huge ripples and outrage in the organization.

    Hard to tell whether they're genuinely changing their stripes and moving away from conversion therapy, or just shedding the name and coming back with a new name that will allow them to be lower profile in trying to peddle the same crap.

    In any case, it's a positive sign, and it certainly doesn't bode well for the various bigoted organizations (mostly ultra-fundie conservative religious groups) that still claim sexual orientation is a choice. It's going to get harder and harder to make that claim.
     
  6. SchwulIstCool

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    It looked sincere enough to me, to be honest. I remember they had supported these bus adverts in London for a British conversion group here, and that caused a lot of anger from people and from the Mayor of London. I think this is definitely a positive step from the chief's point of view - whether or not rebels of the decision from the group make a stand and form a new conversion church is another matter entirely. But ya know, one positive step at a time. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Fiddledeedee

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    One quote from Exodus's own article about shutting down is, “For quite some time we’ve been imprisoned in a worldview that’s neither honoring toward our fellow human beings, nor biblical.” If this is sincere, then they won't be planning on just changing names.

    I think the apology is sincere. I accept and appreciate it; although saying sorry does not undo all harm caused, it can make some progress towards healing. And it takes guts to do it.
     
  8. Valkyrimon

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    This is FANTASTIC news. Seriously, people can change and this just proves it.
     
  9. Aldrick

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    I believe the apology is sincere, and I hope that in the future when LGBT Teens come on here fearful that their parents might send them to "Pray the Gay Away" camps, that we can refer them to that letter to give to their parents.

    Sadly, after reading the Advocate article linked up thread, the direction they are going seems to be mixed. Basically, they're still saying: 'We believe being gay is sinful. However, we do not believe that those who are gay can change, and we believe that Repairative Therapy is dangerous, harmful, destructive and a total sham. We believe that those who are gay deserve to be loved and supported, and we will no longer stand in the way of LGBT people seeking equal rights. That being said, since we still believe being gay is sinful, we're going to instead set up a group that helps LGBT people who want to live 'Christian Lives' - by either marrying someone of the opposite sex or remaining celebate throughout their entire life.'

    So, is it a step forward? Yes. However, the fact that they are STILL going to encourage people who are gay to live either celebate lives or marry someone of the opposite sex is...

    Well it's kinda like having the KKK apologize for all their crimes, and all the pain and suffering they caused. Then immediately state that they still believe non-whites are inferior to whites, but that they also deserve civil and equal rights.

    So, you're kinda left somewhat confused. On the one hand you want to say, "Fuck you." On the other hand you want to say, "Thank you for no longer trying to screw us over."

    I think what we just witnessed was Exodus and many of its members collectively moving from the denial phase to the bargaining phase of acceptance. If I had to predict the next moves, they're likely to receive stiff and harsh push back from the (mostly straight) bigots they've aligned themselves with, which would lead to them entering the anger phase, followed by them entering into the depression phase after their new group fails, and hopefully they will - at the end - finally accept themselves.
     
  10. BryanM

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    I think the apology is sincere, but I cannot fully forgive him because "gay reparative therapy" is murder in a lot of cases, as he said that he was sorry people took their lives because of the therapy.
     
  11. Emberstone

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    Their website appears to be having crashing issues. anyone got access to the text of the apology found on another site?
     
  12. Hexagon

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    I forgive him. If not for compassion, then at least because if people can't hope to be forgiven, they have less of an incentive to stop doing it in the first place. But personally, I do forgive him. People do things out of fear and hate, and I don't believe we're born to either of those things. We have to learn them, so part of the blame lies on those who do the teaching.
     
  13. Fiddledeedee

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    You can still grab them from Google caches.

    The apology:

    Three years ago, Leslie and I began a very public conversation with Our America’s Lisa Ling, from the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) regarding some of our deeply held beliefs about Christianity and the LGBT community. Today, we have decided to carry this public conversation even further. While this conversation has and may well continue to be met with many different responses from supporters and critics, it is our desire to keep having these honest discussions in the hopes of arriving to a place of peace.

    Several months ago, this conversation led me to call Lisa Ling to take another step on this messy journey. I asked if she would, once again, help us add to the unfolding story by covering my apology to the people who have been hurt by Exodus International. Our ministry has been public and therefore any acknowledgement of wrong must also be public. I haven’t always been the leader of Exodus, but I am now and someone must finally own and acknowledge the hurt of others. I do so anxiously, but willingly.

    It is strange to be someone who has both been hurt by the church’s treatment of the LGBT community, and also to be someone who must apologize for being part of the very system of ignorance that perpetuated that hurt. Today it is as if I’ve just woken up to a greater sense of how painful it is to be a sinner in the hands of an angry church.

    It is also strange to be an outcast from powerful portions of both the gay community and the Christian community. Because I do not completely agree with the vocal majorities in either group and am forging a new place of peaceful service in and through both, I will likely continue to be an outsider to some degree. I imagine it to be very much like a man I recently heard speak at a conference I attended, Father Elias Chacour, the Melkite Catholic Archbishop of Israel. He is an Arab Christian, Palestinian by birth, and a citizen of Israel. Talk about a walking contradiction. When I think of the tension of my situation I am comforted by the thought of him and his.

    My desire is to completely align with Christ, his Good News for all and his offer of peace amidst the storms of life. My wife Leslie and my beliefs center around grace, the finished work of Christ on the cross and his offer of eternal relationship to any and all that believe. Our beliefs do not center on “sin” because “sin” isn’t at the center of our faith. Our journey hasn’t been about denying the power of Christ to do anything – obviously he is God and can do anything.

    With that, here is an expanded version of the apology I offered during my recent interview with Lisa Ling to the people within the LGBTQ community who have been hurt by the Church, Exodus International, and me. I realize some within the communities for which I apologize will say I don’t have the right, as one man, to do so on their behalf. But if the Church is a body, with many members being connected to the whole, then I believe that what one of us does right we all do right, and what one of us does wrong we all do wrong. We have done wrong, and I stand with many others who now recognize the need to offer apologies and make things right. I believe this apology – however imperfect – is what God the Father would have me do.

    To Members of the LGBTQ Community:

    In 1993 I caused a four-car pileup. In a hurry to get to a friend’s house, I was driving when a bee started buzzing around the inside of my windshield. I hit the bee and it fell on the dashboard. A minute later it started buzzing again with a fury. Trying to swat it again I completely missed the fact that a city bus had stopped three cars in front of me. I also missed that those three cars were stopping, as well. Going 40 miles an hour I slammed into the car in front of me causing a chain reaction. I was injured and so were several others. I never intended for the accident to happen. I would never have knowingly hurt anyone. But I did. And it was my fault. In my rush to get to my destination, fear of being stung by a silly bee, and selfish distraction, I injured others.

    I have no idea if any of the people injured in that accident have suffered long term effects. While I did not mean to hurt them, I did. The fact that my heart wasn’t malicious did not lessen their pain or their suffering. I am very sorry that I chose to be distracted that fall afternoon, and that I caused so much damage to people and property. If I could take it all back I absolutely would. But I cannot. I pray that everyone involved in the crash has been restored to health.

    Recently, I have begun thinking again about how to apologize to the people that have been hurt by Exodus International through an experience or by a message. I have heard many firsthand stories from people called ex-gay survivors. Stories of people who went to Exodus affiliated ministries or ministers for help only to experience more trauma. I have heard stories of shame, sexual misconduct, and false hope. In every case that has been brought to my attention, there has been swift action resulting in the removal of these leaders and/or their organizations. But rarely was there an apology or a public acknowledgement by me.

    And then there is the trauma that I have caused. There were several years that I conveniently omitted my ongoing same-sex attractions. I was afraid to share them as readily and easily as I do today. They brought me tremendous shame and I hid them in the hopes they would go away. Looking back, it seems so odd that I thought I could do something to make them stop. Today, however, I accept these feelings as parts of my life that will likely always be there. The days of feeling shame over being human in that way are long over, and I feel free simply accepting myself as my wife and family does. As my friends do. As God does.

    Never in a million years would I intentionally hurt another person. Yet, here I sit having hurt so many by failing to acknowledge the pain some affiliated with Exodus International caused, and by failing to share the whole truth about my own story. My good intentions matter very little and fail to diminish the pain and hurt others have experienced on my watch. The good that we have done at Exodus is overshadowed by all of this.

    Friends and critics alike have said it’s not enough to simply change our message or website. I agree. I cannot simply move on and pretend that I have always been the friend that I long to be today. I understand why I am distrusted and why Exodus is hated.

    Please know that I am deeply sorry. I am sorry for the pain and hurt many of you have experienced. I am sorry that some of you spent years working through the shame and guilt you felt when your attractions didn’t change. I am sorry we promoted sexual orientation change efforts and reparative theories about sexual orientation that stigmatized parents. I am sorry that there were times I didn’t stand up to people publicly “on my side” who called you names like sodomite—or worse. I am sorry that I, knowing some of you so well, failed to share publicly that the gay and lesbian people I know were every bit as capable of being amazing parents as the straight people that I know. I am sorry that when I celebrated a person coming to Christ and surrendering their sexuality to Him that I callously celebrated the end of relationships that broke your heart. I am sorry that I have communicated that you and your families are less than me and mine.

    More than anything, I am sorry that so many have interpreted this religious rejection by Christians as God’s rejection. I am profoundly sorry that many have walked away from their faith and that some have chosen to end their lives. For the rest of my life I will proclaim nothing but the whole truth of the Gospel, one of grace, mercy and open invitation to all to enter into an inseverable relationship with almighty God.

    I cannot apologize for my deeply held biblical beliefs about the boundaries I see in scripture surrounding sex, but I will exercise my beliefs with great care and respect for those who do not share them. I cannot apologize for my beliefs about marriage. But I do not have any desire to fight you on your beliefs or the rights that you seek. My beliefs about these things will never again interfere with God’s command to love my neighbor as I love myself.

    You have never been my enemy. I am very sorry that I have been yours. I hope the changes in my own life, as well as the ones we announce tonight regarding Exodus International, will bring resolution, and show that I am serious in both my regret and my offer of friendship. I pledge that future endeavors will be focused on peace and common good.

    Moving forward, we will serve in our pluralistic culture by hosting thoughtful and safe conversations about gender and sexuality, while partnering with others to reduce fear, inspire hope, and cultivate human flourishing.

    The closing notice, as best I can find it:

    Thirty-seven-year-old ministry for those with same-sex attraction marks its last national conference

    Irvine, Calif. (June 19, 2013) — Exodus International, the oldest and largest Christian ministry dealing with faith and homosexuality announced tonight that it’s closing its doors after three-plus decades of ministry. The Board of Directors reached a decision after a year of dialogue and prayer about the organization’s place in a changing culture.

    “We’re not negating the ways God used Exodus to positively affect thousands of people, but a new generation of Christians is looking for change – and they want to be heard,” Tony Moore, Board member of Exodus. The message came less than a day after Exodus released a statement apologizing to the gay community for years of undue judgment by the organization and the Christian Church as a whole.

    “Exodus is an institution in the conservative Christian world, but we’ve ceased to be a living, breathing organism,” said Alan Chambers, President of Exodus. “For quite some time we’ve been imprisoned in a worldview that’s neither honoring toward our fellow human beings, nor biblical.”

    Chambers continued: “From a Judeo-Christian perspective, gay, straight or otherwise, we’re all prodigal sons and daughters. Exodus International is the prodigal’s older brother, trying to impose its will on God’s promises, and make judgments on who’s worthy of His Kingdom. God is calling us to be the Father – to welcome everyone, to love unhindered.”

    For these reasons, the Board of Directors unanimously voted to close Exodus International and begin a separate ministry. “This is a new season of ministry, to a new generation,” said Chambers. “Our goals are to reduce fear, and come alongside churches to become safe, welcoming, and mutually transforming communities.”

    Local affiliated ministries, which have always been autonomous, will continue, but not under the name or umbrella of Exodus.
     
  14. josh9623

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    I am VERY happy to hear this as I was nearly one of their victims. Luckily my parents didn't force me to do it. However, I wonder if their local partner Family Ties has changed it's stance. I checked and they are no longer listed on the exodus intl website, sooo... don't know.
     
  15. pinklov3ly

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    I can remember visiting the Exodus website seeking answers and trying to figure out why am I gay. I was around 13/14, so very impressionable. I really thought that I could change who I was and I tried thanks to his organization. So, I'm very surprised about this change of heart. I even watched the special that Lisa Ling did on his organization on the OWN network.

    I'll have to admit that I'm disappointed that it took him this long to finally come forward. For many years, I thought there was something wrong with me and it has been difficult recovering from that thought process. I mean, extremely difficult :frowning2: But I guess it is better late than never...
     
    #15 pinklov3ly, Jun 20, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2013
  16. Pret Allez

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  17. Jeff

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    It is better late than never. And the fact that the guy is not just resigning, but that they are shutting down Exodus, like totally the end of the line is very big news. It sends a message to other organizations and to the questioning public, that this stuff is quackery and dose not work.

    There is change sweeping this county in regards to being gay and being accepted. Every week for the last year or two there has been some unprecedented event. This is another major one.

    I am glad to be alive to see this happen. Goodbye Exodus, I am sorry you lasted so long.
     
  18. Candace

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    At least he gave his apology and admitted that he was wrong. If only so many "Christians" could do the same *cough*
     
  19. Pret Allez

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    His apology is no good though, because he doubled down on the same caustic view that led to all his bad actions in the first place: believing that homosexuality is an aberration and that God didn't intend it.

    That view is the root of all the morally wrong things that he did. I don't really care if he's just going to stop doing those things now. He still believes in the wicked views that got him there in the first place.
     
  20. Stridenttube

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    Re: Edxous Int'l President apoligizes to the gay community for treatment over the yea

    Sorry isn't good enough here, it never will be. There's nothing Christian about reparative therapy. This guys organization ruined thousands of lives that we can never get back. I've read the stories about people who went through the program and it makes me sick. :tears: