How much of this forum is public?

[Sadepeura]

Okay, I'm freaking out.

I was under an impression that the discussions on the forum are visible only to members, but then I realise that you can see them without signing in. Therefore I would like to ask how much of the forum is public to EVERYONE?

I mean, if a random person navigates themselves to this website, what can they see? Can they see my whole profile? And my wall messages? And all the threads I've written?

Help!

[Chip]

Everything on the walls and forum are publicly visible. Some parts of the profile are, but pictures and galleries are not; you must be logged in.

Our CoC, as well as the big red box up top, clearly state that you are not permitted to put any personally identifying information in public areas of the forums, on walls, or on your profile. We also don't allow members to use the same usernames here at EC that they use elsewhere.

All of these policies are there to provide security to our members; if you're following our security policies, then no one should be able to identify you from your posts here on EC.

[Maddy]

I don't believe that profiles (and as such walls) are viewable to non-members. When trying to view a profile without being logged in, I got this:



The forums are viewable by non-members, but profiles (including walls, galleries, etc) and blogs don't seem to be.

[Sadepeura]

I understand and am following the security instructions. I'm mostly concerned about people I know, because if they end up on this site, it won't take them long to realise that I'm me.

Is there a reason why the walls and all of the forum are public?

[Kerze]

I thought that all you could see as a non-member was the homepage, resources and the threads currently shown on the homepage (but not the rest of the forum)

[Martin]

Originally Posted by Sadepeura

I understand and am following the security instructions. I'm mostly concerned about people I know, because if they end up on this site, it won't take them long to realise that I'm me.

Is there a reason why the walls and all of the forum are public?

The walls aren't. The 'members' tab isn't available for guests because it covers member-only information, such as albums, so access to it is completely cut off.

The forums are visible because it doesn't make sense not to have them visible. We cover a wide-range of issues that get given insightful support, and it doesn't really serve the site any purpose to deny that to people who would rather browse than sign up to a site immediately. Even if we block everything off to guests, they can still register and just as easily find you, and because they have an account they'd be able to access your wall messages, account history and all that jazz. As a resource and support site the advice given should be available to everybody, so having it accessible to guests hopefully helps them, gives them some confidence in our ability to offer support, and also helps raise our visibility on the search-engine.

If you don't want people to find you then it's your responsibility to protect what information you put on here that would allow people to spot you. I hate to sound nasty here, but members really do need to try harder to protect their identity if its such a concern to them. There are too many occasions when people will come to us with concerns that somebody they know may have seen them, but we review the situation and the member in question hasn't really done anything to actually protect themselves. There's a reason the staff repeatedly try and enforce 'unique' identities on here, which is why we actively seek to remove duplicate usernames (used on other sites) and other identifiable pieces of information. We can't do that for every member, so all members have to take on some of the responsibility themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not dismissing the concerns or anything like that as I completely understand them, but the alternative would be to lock this site down and make it almost impossible to find because of everything being 'locked out' to non-members. If we had done that any earlier then many of you likely wouldn't have found your way here as our visibility on search engines would be horrendous, so I'm rather reluctant to jump to extreme measures like that because the only people who lose out are the closeted people who need a site like EC.

I don't mean for the latter parts of this post to sound like a dig at you or any members as it's not meant to be. It's just an issue that can make staff feel rather deflated because we go to a lot of effort to try and protect the identities of members, but a few members only really become interested in doing so themselves when a situation pops up that requires staff to take special precautions that are needed to protect their identity. If everybody made a conscious effort to think twice about what information they are posting then situations like this wouldn't pop up. After all, albums can be private, posts can be anonymous, and you never need to tell anybody your name or age etc. There's no reason people should be noticed if they don't want to be, but those who do get spotted just haven't taken enough care, and it's not fair to punish guests for that by having to restrict what information they can see.

Martin.

[Filip]

Speaking for myself, I don't think I would have ever came out to people were it not for months and months of lurking on here and reading all those insightful posts. I don't think I'm alone in this, and so I do think having the forum public is the right decision.

Of course, everything else can be hidden (you don't have to have location, age or even sexuality and out status set, and you can limit wall and albums to friends). That leaves you with just the responsability for what you said in posts. Personally, I do always change the details around slightly when I'm getting into detailed stories, and I never use my friends' real names. Obviously I don't care about getting recognised (or I wouldn't be using my own picture as an avatar), but I do like to preserve my friends' privacy (you never know if any of them would stumble on this place).

Last but not least, though: don't overestimate your friends either. If they're not gay or questioning, it's not that likely they'd accidentally stumble on here. And even then, going from "hmm, that post looks like a situation I was in" to signing up and crossreferencing posts is still a big step. Being in the closet always comes with a bit of an overactive fear of being found out, but reality is usually that people don't spend their time stalking people on forums and connecting the dots.
Do take your privacy seriously at all times, but there's no need to totally freak out either!

[Sadepeura]

Okay, to be fair the freak out was mostly because I thought some of the forum was hidden, and finding out that it wasn't caused a bit of s shock. I guess I'm just too used to forums that restrict most of the discussions to members. Thank you Filip for sharing your lurking story, I hadn't thought of the possibility of it being such a big step for signing up for this site.

I'm not afraid of my friends finding me. And certainly if they joined here they would be part of the group and then there wouldn't be a need to hide these things from them. But for instance some of my friends use my computer and there's a direct link to this website. So if they click on it they will directly see everything. I know that it's my fault for having a link there, but it's my computer after all. And of course I'm not asking EC to change their settings because I have a shortcut for it on my browser. But for instance if my mother stumbles on this site... She would very easily find me. Oh well.

I mainly asked because I wasn't sure what was private and what wasn't. But I got my answer now. Martin, I feel that you're either over-reacting or think that I'm a total numptie. But thank you for answering anyway.

[thylvin]

I think its a really neat idea to keep the forum public... if it wasn't for that I probably would not have signed up. I came here because i looked for a save environment where people doesn't want to talk sex with you, doesn't want to sex cam with you or any of that. This is the major plus point for met joining EC.

Further on I am an Aquarius and we love to meet new people and help people, if we are not allowed to do that then its like we stop living. Facebook and other social networks is also good for that, but there you get perverts, liars and what not also. I like helping real people and not fake you regularly find at other social networking sites.

Just want all the people and admins who started the site say to you:
WELL DONE ON THE BEST FORUM EVER. I THINK THIS HELPS A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF PEOPLE AND I THINK THIS HELPS CURB SUICIDES FOR THOSE THAT FOUND THIS PLACE

Originally Posted by Sadepeura

But for instance some of my friends use my computer and there's a direct link to this website. So if they click on it they will directly see everything. I know that it's my fault for having a link there, but it's my computer after all. And of course I'm not asking EC to change their settings because I have a shortcut for it on my browser. But for instance if my mother stumbles on this site... She would very easily find me. Oh well.

Why don't you secure your computer with a password? You could create a new operating system user account for other people who use your computer (and leave it without a password) and lock your own. That should prevent your friends/mom from accidentally finding personal stuff you don't want them to find (like bookmarks or browser history).

[Sadepeura]

Originally Posted by MadSeed

Why don't you secure your computer with a password? You could create a new operating system user account for other people who use your computer (and leave it without a password) and lock your own. That should prevent your friends/mom from accidentally finding personal stuff you don't want them to find (like bookmarks or browser history).

Sounds like too much hustle because I have my computer on most of the time anyway. So if someone wants to use it they will just start using it using my profile anyway. I mean, I know it makes sense, but I guess I don't care enough. My friends have walked pass me enough times to see this forum open anyway. It's too late to create separate profiles for them now. If they want to find me here, they already know the address.

[maverick]

I like that this place is semi-public.

It is called Empty Closets, after all. You can be as "out" with your personal information on EC as you care to be. You can be completely anonymous, or you can tell us everything but your phone number and home address (I exaggerate, but you get the picture).

If you're deep in the closet, don't come on here and plaster an album full of your face in your profile. Don't tell people anything they could use to personally identify you. (I never take my own advice. And I'm not talking to you Sade. Just folks in general.)

But most importantly, I think people should be very careful about what they write on the Internet. It lasts forever. It never goes away. It will be used against you in a court of law. It will be taken as your word. So people should speak carefully.

I wouldn't be embarrassed of anything I've posted here, speaking personally. Yeah, I might get a little redfaced at some of the "sex ed" conversations I've had in here, because I've been frank and honest about my experience and a lot less private about my sexual/gender identity here than I ever have been in my life. But I don't think I've ever discussed anything more damning than the equivalent of "I think this girl is cute!" or anything that should be already taught in a comprehensive sex ed class.

I have needed this place to discuss some pretty intimate stuff. I might be mortified if someone tried to use my participation in this forum against me, but I would stand by every word I've written here.

[Hemera]

^ well said.
I know someone who has posted something to a friend on the internet and someone she worked with was offended by it and she lost her job
Like maverick said, even if it is completely private, still be careful what you put, you never know who you know who become members just to keep an eye on you