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Can't pm..how to offer support?

Discussion in 'Empty Closets Help and Feedback' started by Phenix, Apr 10, 2013.

  1. Phenix

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    Since I can't PM until my full member status is accepted and we aren't allowed to post off-site contact info, how do I offer support to someone or become friends with people in the meantime? I've never encountered a forum where I couldn't PM from the beginning so I am a little confused. Thanks!
     
  2. Ethan

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    Well, we're a forum so you can use the forums to do that! :slight_smile:
    Just pick a section and jump right in.
     
  3. Femmeme

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    If you want to say hi to someone in particular you can post on their wall, it isn't private though. I think it's because most of us are struggling and many are closeted, the lack of PM is to help protect us from people who might want to prey on our naivety vulnerability. It's a little odd, but I think it's a good policy.
     
  4. Rakkaus

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    You can post messages on people's walls. You can find them by clicking onto their profiles. It's like private messaging someone, except for the fact that everyone can see what you are saying, so it's not all that private.
     
  5. lull23

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    I do feel there's a certain level of paranoia on these boards re contacting other members.

    I needed to PM a user yesterday to let them know they'd left some personal info on a post. Told in no uncertain terms no, it wouldn't be possible. So the only way to sort this issue was to tell every admin (and there seem to be quite a number of them!) and they would edit the post. Still the info is there now. A quick PM to the guy would've allowed him to edit it out, AND stopped more people reading the content.

    And I even got told allowing me to PM would be an even greater security risk than leaving the info there!

    I understand there are kids on here, but this guy was in his 20s - not exactly a vulnerable age.
     
  6. Eric

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    Some time back, we didn't have the restrictions that we have now. We had no rules with regard to offsite contact, only the advice that people be cautious with who they talk to, because it's rather easy to lie about your identity online. Then there was an incident involving an older member who was actively trying to seduce minors, and that forced us to implement the restrictions.

    The current full membership system, although inefficient, and the contact info ban, have been the most effective method to prevent such incidents thus far. It may be a bit paranoid and cynical but it's better to err on the side of caution, particularly when there are so many minors here, and given we would assume some liability if an incident like the one I mentioned were to happen again.

    And if reporting a post or writing in Ask the Staff about something makes you uncomfortable, you're welcome to PM any of the staff members. We'd be more than happy to take care of things you bring to our attention. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Chip

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    Actually, the fastest and best way to report something like this is to use the "report post" button (a little triangle at the bottom left corner of every post). This notifies all staff members and creates a record of the report. Posts reported in this way are handled usually within about 15 minutes, and often times, substantlally less than that. When you send a PM to a particular staff, it can take sometimes a day or two depending on how busy that staff member is, which is why we have the post reporting function.


    It turns out that's not the case, because editing of posts is limited to a few minutes (10 I think) after the post has been made.

    I believe what you were told is that allowing members unlimited PM access would be a greater security risk than someone mentioning the name of a college that probably has several thousand students, and therefore, the combination of mentioning a school with no other personally identifiable information would not provide any easy means for off-site contact, keeping our security policy intact.

    Some people may disagree with our security policy, but it is our security policy that contributes in large part to the nature of the community and its safety. Creepers that show up don't stick around long, because they're identified and banned pretty quickly, and many others never even register because they figure out that they won't be able to approach any of our members. That, in turn, provides an environment where members can feel safe conversing with each other and discussing things they might not otherwise feel comfortable discussing.

    The creation of the security policy was before my time on staff, but the way it was developed, and the thought behind it, has done an amazing job of creating what is a pretty unique oasis of courtesy and a sense of comfort that is pretty unusual with other online communities. And we feel like the trade-off of the inconvenience in our security policy is a very reasonable one in exchange.
     
  8. SomeNights

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    I am sorry, but I find this whole topic kinda laughable. Mainly because I thought the same thing when i first joined a few months back, but even so I hardly ever utilize the PM system or the private chat. Most of the support stuff is in the public forms or on ppls walls.
     
  9. lull23

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    That's not what I got told. Or not how I interpreted it, at least. But hey, ho. It's not the end of the world. No-one died.

    Dems the rules, right or wrong.
     
  10. BudderMC

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    That's probably my fault. I didn't quite explain it thoroughly, but Chip explained the point I was trying to make. It's likely the case that because we (the staff) explain the rules to people so often, it's easy for me to assume everyone should just be able to make the same "connections" and "thought processes" we do when examining security privileges. I need to remind myself that not everyone can think the same way I do, particularly if they're new here.

    That said, my apologies. It certainly wasn't anything personal.
     
  11. lull23

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    No apology needed. I'm sure you weren't doing it for any malicious reasons - and hey, I might be the biggest weirdo on the internet for all you know!