Are leaving threads really appropriate? We've had about four in the last 3 weeks, and I can only imagine they have been inspired by each other as I don't recall seeing any others in the last two years before this current rush on them. Every other forum I've known doesn't allow them because they really add nothing. There isn't any discussion value and they just make the forum look negative. If they are leaving they aren't going to be here to read the replies they get anyway, and those replies can only be variations of "good luck" and "don't leave" anyway. If people want to say goodbye then I think the wall message and PM system are more than sufficient...
It's up to the person really. On several that I've seen, it's their way of giving a final thanks to EC. I personally don't see anything wrong with it. If you don't like it, don't read it.
It gives the people a sense of closure, I imagine. Some people like to use the forums as a stepping stone, which is their prerogative. The final step would be an official goodbye. It's like bookends, when the beginning and end scene are reminiscent of each other. As for whether they're appropriate... that's a good question. I have my own private thoughts on the matter.
In my eyes it was for me for the simple fact that I have so many people on my friends list that messaging each person individually would be tedious. Additionally EVERYONE on this site has helped me in some way, so the thread I started was more of a thank you than a goodbye even if I did include a goodbye in their. I am still undetermined on if I will delete my account or not seeing as most of you have no way to contact me off this site and I don't want to abandon anyone, I really didn't think about that when I posted the thread. I just thought about the fact that I really don't need this site, and that I am almost never online. You are entitled to your own opinion, I respect that but my choice to post that thread was not based on past users posts.
I agree with Ridiculous and most of the other posters in this thread. I believe that some threads, such as Ace's, are a bit more reasonable and tasteful, but they are usually the minority. I don't understand why so many people feel the need to announce that they are leaving because *Insert Site Criticism*. I'm not quite sure what they expected anyone to do or say. Honestly, it comes across as extremely juvenile. Though for the select few that simply want to say "Thank You" and state their leave, I can assume that they just want a form of official closure. Though it may not be necessary as Ridiculous has said, I can understand the desire.
i've always noticed that people who announce that they're leaving a forum almost never end up leaving for good.
Yeah I need to point out that I had told myself if there was another leaving thread I would complain about it. The content of Ace's thread isn't what prompted me, and it is the most tasteful one so far. But yes, the previous ones were far worse. One in particular I am 100% confident in saying was just an attempt for attention and they had no intention of leaving - and they didn't leave (but they did get banned for something else shortly afterwards).
The staff hasn't taken a formal position on this yet but I think it's safe to say that nobody on staff is interested in supporting or encouraging threads that *claim* the person is leaving, but are really Dramatic Announcements to Draw Attention. And, in fact, some of the more obvious ones that fall into that category get removed pretty quickly. It's definitely an issue we're aware of and looking at creating real policy on. On the flip side, I don't think anyone has issues with someone who, for some legitimate reason, is leaving EC after a long time here, such as being too busy with school or moving somewhere where they won't have much Internet access, or something of that nature. In those cases, letting people know they haven't just dropped off the face of the earth isn't a bad thing. It's the ones where people are dramatically announcing that they're flouncing off in a huff because of this or that, or leaving because nobody cares about them, or some other BS that really have no place and I suspect the staff will come up with a more structured way to address that issue in the near future.
I think the goodbye threads that are to thank EC for the support, etc. or because they need to focus on life, etc. are nice. But the ones that are made strictly to criticize something about the site just never contribute anything to the forums. I'm sure they can voice their thoughts in Ask the Staff if they're that annoyed before leaving. No real reason to complain to every member.
A lot of the comments in this thread are exactly along the lines of what I think every time I read a leaving thread that is essentially along the lines of somebody throwing their toys out of the pram because of x or y reason. If they did, as Tim said, post in ATS with the complaint then it actually would be taken seriously and we'd see what could be done to improve the reported situation. As the staff all came here as members, there's a pretty solid understanding of the importance of listening to the membership base and doing everything feasibly possible to accommodate their diverse needs. However, to simply bitch and moan under the guise of 'I'm leaving' isn't going to accomplish anything, and I would much rather give me time to people who actually take the time and effort to raise issues without wanting to stomp their feet around. Saying that, it's a difficult balance to get in terms of any formal staff policy. I suspect the reason we have avoided any official policy on this is because there will inevitably be accusations of censorship. If we were to allow leaving threads that sang praise and thanked the staff, site and members but removed any threads containing criticism then it wouldn't take long until the stereotypical 'nazi' references were thrown about. I do think something needs to be done to stop such obvious attention seeking behaviour, but it also needs to be done in a way that doesn't create any sort of misinterpretation that we're only allowing threads from people who want to post positive messages regarding the site.
In my experience across many fora, if someone is really going to leave a forum, they will just do so. No drama or "I'm Leaving" threads, they will just leave, stop signing on, stop posting. Maybe send some personal goodbyes to people, but that's it. If they're an established member of the community and then really are calling it quits for whatever reason, alright, then a goodbye thread isn't totally inappropriate. But if people are just doing it for attention, then that's not cool. It's not really fair when you come on here with your own problems and then have people threaten to leave just to guilt you into showering them with attention and convincing them how much you want them to stay, putting all the focus on them.... when they never really had any intention of leaving in the first place. It puts stress on other people who worry about why you're leaving and don't want you to leave and wonder what we must have done wrong. At least in my case when someone says they are leaving, I get all stressed out over how to convince them to change their minds and stay. It's also not fair to make a thread threatening to leave while criticizing other people and their opinions or something about the forum (like saying your religion or political beliefs are being persecuted) and then people can't defend themselves, because anyone who disagrees with that opinion will look like they want you to leave the forum. Most fora that I've been on do not allow you to delete your accounts (or at least, not so easily), so perhaps that adds a degree of finality to such a decision that makes it seem like a more serious threat here. I've taken breaks from posting on EC for days or weeks, I think people who are thinking of leaving should just do that first before even thinking about hitting the Delete Account button. Overall though, it seems most of the people who've threatened to leave, do not actually end up leaving. I think if someone really needs help and attention, there are better and more honest ways to get help from people than by threatening to just walk out on everyone.
What about having a single Absent People thread for everyone, where you may post a notice if you intend to leave the site (permanently or just for a term or something)? That would give space for a quick thanks or explanation hopefully without the potential drama of creating a thread especially about yourself. Problem is that it'd likely get forgotten about a lot.
Some deep down want to be goaded to remain or come back, it seems. From the OP to the subsequent messages, that's why I see.
So..Apparently I am really indecisive and prone to emotional breakdowns...Sorry. .-. I guess I am staying. (Mostly due to one member on here who I can't contact off EC, as well as my current need for advice.) Ugh I am embarrassed.. :icon_redf
dont be! Your staying because of good reason. dont be ashamed. You just did what you thought would best.
