How to be Good enough

Don't really disagree with anything he's said. I've always been convinced that the high standards I fail to live up to are my own, not someone else's. But then I remember my preschool and kindergarten gushing about me to my parents, saying that I was a genius and that I would be the next Einstein or something and they would agree. So maybe these impossible "self" expectations are really theirs, penetrating my subconscious at an early age and tormenting me ever since.

 

Lesson: watch what you say to kids, it can mess them up. I know that the spectre of high expectations looms over almost everything I do and think about and tends to paralyze me from productive action. This is probably why I have to be "forced" by job or school deadlines to act on anything. (In those realms, I seem to do very well.) On my own, I lump-ify.

 

I'm actually subscribed to Mr Repzion. I like his videos and he has many good points.

Regarding this particular video, I agree with his point in terms of in your personal or social life, however this doesn't always apply at large. The fact of the matter is, we live in a world where you always have to meet some standard or another in order to progress through life. Now you can sit there and say, as long as I'm good enough by my standard that's ok, but that won't get you or keep you in a career, or university or any institution/business. The real world doesn't work that way. It's cold and uncaring and only those who meet and exceed standards will make it far.

I think the key is, not to waste time moping over where you don't meet standards, but to find and play to your strengths helping you excel.

That all being said, I still like the general message and respect his point of view.

Happy days

 

I was crushed under the label of being smart and high expectations throughout my life.

I was expected to perform well in all aspects of my life, and in fucking 4th grade I had like 2 hours of homework a night. I was so anxious as a child I made myself sick due to horrible teachers (mean old hags) and the fear of not getting anything lower than *gasp* a B+.

I eventually enjoyed high school a lot due to the environment and it was a very competitive place full of brilliant students, and I was probably in the top 10% of all students there... Who are like the top 1% of high schoolers.

Anyways I went to college never declared my major until I had to. But post college I went to grad school at the behest of my parents.

"Oh Kasey is going to get a phd, were so proud" and "he's going to make over 100,000$" a year and eagles are going to serve dom perignon from the sky and women will throw themselves at his feet".

I HATED it there. A miserable old curmudgeon for an advisor... Who kept dangling a carrot. I stayed because I wasn't a quitter and my parents and friends pressured me. I hated it. I woke up with that rotting feeling in the pit of my stomach every morning. I wanted to sleep in every day to avoid getting up and going into that viper pit of a lab. I was in therapy and psychiatry for years. Eventually I reached that point in my life that you may have heard me say before.

"Fuck it, life will go on", I left my program.

And that was the first time at 29 years old I lived for myself. I went to school for what I wanted to, and now am probably the most respected teacher in the school by my students and others. I enjoy my life now, I have contributed to society and continue to do so. I have a roof over my head. A nice car, clothes, food and friends and family who finally recognize I'm a success.

I have two pieces of paper that say "Masters of" but now I finally feel worth of myself.