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Spoken word poem.

Discussion in 'Entertainment and Technology' started by AJ2014, Jun 30, 2014.

  1. AJ2014

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    It's meant to be spoken word poetry but I haven't recorded it yet so I will copy and paste it hope you enjoy it. (it's long, 557 words to be precise).


    The day I came out to my mother I had to do it in a letter, the page I changed so many times it felt like an old friends face, couldn’t say out loud, couldn’t bare the look in her eyes, couldn’t have her advice say the I’m not wise and I should like guys.

    I wrote it down, said I hope you are still proud of my life anyway it turns out, she said she will always be but I knew from her face it was a shock and she thought I was making a mistake.

    She’s finally learnt to accept that I’m not straight but I still haven’t heard her say that I’m gay but if saying I’m not straight makes who I love easier on her I will take that any day.

    As my relationship with her is too important that I can’t let the labels scare her and stigma of society of anything other than straight being out of the ordinary make her and turn her away into a world of upsets and threats.

    This is never a conversations I thought I’d have to have with her, thought my life would have been over before she read my note that said why I ended my life why I thought I was an abomination and had to die.

    But I managed to survive some way somehow even though I wanted to die. Fought the words the world had put in my head and now I am living not just surviving through life.

    But I can see she is scared its in her eyes in the way she holds me a little tighter when hug how she speaks a little softer when we talk how she lets me get away with little things I would have never before all because she thinks if I tell that they will hate then discriminate.

    She thinks I should chose lies over honesty for my safety. I Can’t tell her yet that she is wrong but I can’t blame her for wanting me to be a little safer so if that means not using gay in front of her and telling her I don’t use it anywhere else I will until I can show her that the world is not full of hate and she shouldn’t think that they will discriminate.

    I can see she breathes I sigh of relief every time I walk in the door. But she still makes sure the door is locked the windows closed even though only a few know. But if her doing that lets her sleep at night that’s fine I can’t blame her for wanting me to be a little be safer.

    I’m still not sure if she knows why I’m gay or not straight but she loves me all the same. But all I can think is how can the parents say “I’m not having a gay kid”, like it is something they can change. Like they can wash it to the sea when all they want to do is to flow free and not have their homes a river with rocks to dodge and rapids to get washed away and a water fall where they fall into silence and finally their self-execution.

    All they want to do is for you to hold them close and never ever let them go.