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Micro-length horror story I wrote

Discussion in 'Entertainment and Technology' started by Argentwing, Feb 15, 2015.

  1. Argentwing

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    This was inspired by a prompt posted online, the premise being that every night before going to bed, people had to flip a coin. If it was heads, they'd see their best dreams. Tails, naturally, their worst nightmares. Enjoy.

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    While awake, I hear a lot of people complain about how wrong it is, being forced to submit to this deal. Even one night, let alone two or especially long streaks of one or the other can mess with a person's head. I had a kid tell me he once that the ghastly things in his nightmares lingered so vivid in his mind, he still saw them in the daytime, and sometimes even in his good dreams. For him, nowhere was safe.

    Not me. In my good dreams, I do whatever I feel like doing. Sometimes I fly, or can breathe underwater, or kiss that girl I had a crush on in school. And in my bad dreams, well, I see the same thing every time. It's a scene where I still get to meet the devil, but this time he doesn't let me sell my soul for stewardship of the dream coin.
    ---------

    Reading through it a few times it might be a little weak. Thoughts? :/
     
    #1 Argentwing, Feb 15, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2015
  2. Celatus

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    Eh. What's so horrifying about that? You need some juicy bits of suspense and gore in there. Where's the buildup or twisted ending?
     
  3. Sos13

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    Add if the coin were to land in between you will be stuck In a loop hole with your crush BUT they will always die .

    Yes I'm a cruel person I know.
     
    #3 Sos13, Feb 15, 2015
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  4. warholwendy

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    I don't get it
     
  5. FrogCAT

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    I believe "Stewardship" implies ownership of how something is supposed to work.
     
  6. Sos13

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    #6 Sos13, Feb 15, 2015
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  7. Argentwing

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    I meant to imply that the main character was the one who set the whole thing upon the world by making a deal with the devil so that he could be the owner of the coin. He put the world into chaos just to see what would happen and I tried to make his guilt the twisted ending.

    You're probably right though; maybe I should avoid the genre. X.X