OK, I decided to post these, and will also be starting a journal/blog of my writing here, for anyone who wishes to check it out. ~ These are both written about a best friend from middle-school; written some time ago, and are part of a series about love and longing, and growing up in a remote, wooded area with a lot of water but few people. I write in a narrative style; my influences include Anne Sexton, Theodore Roethke, Sharon Olds & Edna St. Vincent Millay. ~ Summer Swamp Those nights we slept at opposite ends of the tent camper and beat-off together without touching I remember later how the raft’s cold, yellow plastic wrapped our naked backs parting swamp grass and algae grown heavy with heat frogs pulled together in twos and dragonflies buzzing in pairs like awkward birds- But we never laughed or tried to tip over into weeds and nests of fish eggs blinking up from circles of grey sand- We rowed quietly from opposite ends while I might have slept against your smooth reptile skin water trembling through vinyl with the weight of dragonflies and frogs calling out their one song. ~ Winter Swamp We lost traction on those steep banks, scraping over snow, oak leaves and sticks down to that thin swamp ice stretched like skin over dark water cut by currents merging beneath that blue glass skating past islands of snake-weed poking up among dead elms trekking water to the source the streams letting in thin ice splitting and hissing like our breath forced out together pulses racing as we slipped through and clung together as if this could save us from that cold, black silt opening around us like our first knowledge of this new sex. -H. Pup, revised 2015
You have great poise with respects to vivid imagery. The sincerity of your poems are also great and the short lines really give to the emotional urgency. I would personally love to see a poem that has little to no imagery by you, only actions. That could be cool!
Interesting. Loved the imagery; and I like how your poems don't really have a specific rhyme to it - it makes each line quite unique and helps build upon a story through details. It's really good <3
I usually don't like poetry that much but I like this it's really intresting and I love the way you wrote it ^-^
Thanks, everyone! These are a bit earlier than most; as things evolved, I tend to use shorter line breaks. @alilnervous: That is a curious idea, to try to mainly reply on actions, or verbs. For me, it is the noun and verb that do almost all of the work in a poem, so I am curious as to seeing what might happen if I tried to tilt towrds more action as an experiment. @Tally: Glad ya liked them! These are the first of many in the loniness, love and longing series, for lack of a better set of terms, or poems about emerging sexuality, and coming to terms with it. I'll most likely post more of these, and then move on to some others @Solitaire: Thanks! Poetry can be pretty varied; this is what would be called a 'narrative' style. It is odd: I do tend to read almost exclusively fiction, and write poetry. Well, I also like to read philosophy, comparative religion, bokks about nature, and other non-fiction, but I have found few poets I really, really like. For me, Anne Sexton is the best poet, period.
