im having a first go at writing a fanfic. would anyone be interested in seeing it? it would be nice to get some of your comments to help me improve :icon_bigg
im sorry if this seems a bit cheesy. you might not understand it unless you have watched fairy tail. here goes: It was just another day in Magnolia for the fairy tail guild. That is except for one ice make mage... Gray had gone AWOL. Not a single person had seen him for the past week, not even Juvia. This of course meant magnolia had to be put on flood alert. She was starting to get on people's nerves, especially natsu - who was also starting to worry. Juvia 'sensing the scornful look from natsu' went to sit at the bar before he came and gave her a mouthful. "Aww try not to feel down, I'm sure he's okay" a sweet friendly voice said trying to console the gloomy rain women. Mirajane hated to see any of her guild mates upset. "But my darling gray hasn't been seen for the past week" Juvia said trying to hide just how worried she was "what if something has happened to him?" "Now I come to think about it He's usually missing for a while around this time of the year" Mirajane replied scratching her head. "Either way I hope he's alright" Juvia said as she left the bar and headed outside to clear her thoughts. The weather had took a turn for the worst - there would soon be a storm.Stood outside was the ever calm and collected Lyon vastia with an unusually serious and sorrowful look in his eyes. 'What's up with him' Juvia thought as she walked towards him. Lyon had stopped trying to win the affections of Juvia 'so what could he want?' She thought to herself. "Lyon what's wrong?" Juvia asked skipping the formalities "Have you seen Gray?" Lyon said with a look of sadness in his eyes. Lyon went on to explain that today was the day their master Ur died. Lyon looked down as his emotions overwhelmed him and tears started streaming down his face. "Excuse me Juvia" Lyon turned around and started to walk away sobbing. Juvia ran up and hugged Lyon in a effort to ease his sorrow. "Oh Lyon" Juvia said "I'm Worried about him, especially today of all days" Lyon said tearing up again "I need to find him". Lyon left in search of Gray. He prayed to God that the raven head was ok. He had grown fond of Gray over the past year. Very fond indeed...
It's good and it's short but it's not bad at all. I recommend going to another site for fanfics it's called fanfiction.net and you can put your story in the appropriate category where people who have seen the show can read it. I myself have done a few fairy tail fanfics and have read some great fanfics of fairy tail there myself. It is a good community to help yourself and others improve your fanfic skills. I liked your story and I am getting a Gray X Lyon vibe from your story and profile pic. You just got to remember to keep trying and go for it no matter what. I prefer Natsu X Lucy and Natsu X Gray. If you do end up making an account and posting your fanfic i would love to read it! ---------- Post added 19th Sep 2015 at 11:46 PM ---------- Not sure if you are allowed to give links to stories though
thanks! im thinking of publishing on wattpad but ive thought about posting it on fanfiction.net which one would be better?
I'm not familiar with Wattpad myself so I don't think my opinion really counts but I do like Fanfiction.net I put like four stories out there XD
Posting on FFN (fanfic.net) would be a better option for your fanfic. I'm an author there myself, have been since 2012. Once you post it under the correct categories, people will be free to read it. Posting fanfic on FFN is better then wattpad, since the latter usually is for stories, not fics. Ps for the fic, I can't tell if it's JuviaXLyon-the line's too blurred. And personally it's not to my liking. Well I'll try to not offend, but just as a fair warning, this is not a flame. Anyway. Punctuations and capitalizations are all over the place, and the paragraphing makes it hard to read. The story points more towards shonen-ai, not yaoi, tbh. Yaoi is sex-shonen-ai is everything before that. Personally your writing style simply doesn't agree with me...for one, you could try breaking up the dialogue into more distinct paragraphs-FFN's advise is that there's a line breaking the two paragraphs to make it easier on the readers. I also find Lyon's appearance rather sudden-Juvia goes out for a breath of air, and Lyon appears, crying. Also your timing doesn't match up-at first it was a normal day, but no one saw Gray for the entire week. I was trying to give constructive criticism, but since I couldn't read the entire story, it was quite hard to do so. But work hard, and maybe one day I'll see you on FFN.
thanks anyway. i'd rather have people tell me what i need to sort out ---------- Post added 20th Sep 2015 at 12:59 PM ---------- and i dont think im gonna go full yaoi. its just gonna be a gay romance thing instead XD
[QUOTE [/COLOR]and i dont think im gonna go full yaoi. its just gonna be a gay romance thing instead XD[/QUOTE] Mm, that'll be shonen-ai then. Good luck with the fic! If you ever need it, I could help you. I used to write fairy tail, and I still write yaoi.
thanks for the offer! ive almost finished improving the first chapter with your advice. its alot better imo now :icon_bigg
