Sister Wives

I've watched a few episodes and think it's really interesting. I'm not going to judge them for how they live or anything. Personally I don't see anything wrong with poly-amorous relationships or bigamy. As long as he isn't bringing a minor into it, I say leave them be.

 

I've been involved in a polyamorous relationship with a married woman. I was one of her two extra-marital relationships, and i was involved with another girl at the time.

I have to say it didn't work out, but that was due to our personal differences, rather than any flaw in the system. I actually got along better with her husband than i did with her.

I went to a meeting at a pub specifically for polyamorous folk... I have to say it weirded me out quite a bit, it was a bit of a meat market. I'm not used to such openness!

I'd recommend reading a little about it Revan, if you want to try to dispel some of your distaste for the subject. This is an excellent resource for doing so.

when you say "I just don't believe in polygamy", what exactly do you mean?

 

Agreed! Honestly, it's none of our business how a family is run or composed of. Until, of course, an individual is harmed :dry: Besides, the "traditional" family unit (one father, one mother) has already disintegrated. We have families with just 1 parent so I don't understand why we can't have 3 parents or even 5 if it'd be better for the child.

 

i was brought up with 4 parents =P (extended family in one house)

 

Was it a big house? :lol:

 

haha, thankfully yes

 

Polygyny (marriage by one man to more than one wife) is a very common form of marriage, in history and in cultures around the world. How on earth can you say that you just "don't believe it can work?" It makes no sense. It has demonstrably worked many times, for many people.

In some societies, the men do difficult and dangerous things which result in the deaths of a significant number of men, so that the women outnumber the men very noticeably, rather than just a little like in our society. Since the majority of people are heterosexual, this means that if polygyny is not allowed, some women are forced to remain alone and unmarried. Obviously, that is somewhat tragic and depressing just in itself.

In some of these same societies, however, women are not able to really provide for themselves without a husband, for various reasons. Unmarried women are sometimes also social outcasts. Therefore, sometimes polygyny is the only way to avoid consigning a segment of the women to being destitute pariahs. Disallowing it in such circumstances would be inhumane.

In any event, it is absurd for the government to interfere in the private family arrangements of consenting adults. Intervening and separating children from caregivers who are not abusing them is not only not warranted, it is harmful to them. So when polyamory does not involve marriage of minors, or coercion of anyone, or any kind of child abuse, the state should not intervene.

You say you don't want to make laws to go after this family and others like them. But there are laws on the books that persecute them--they can be prosecuted just for their marriage. The state of Utah is looking into whether it should prosecute this family for polygamy, according to that Wikipedia article. The man could go to prison for 20 years, and each of his wives for five--and what would happen to their 16 kids during that time, I ask you?

Polygamy should therefore be decriminalized, at the very least. This would mean that you could not go to jail for engaging in a consensual relationship with an adult. (It should, of course, still be illegal to commit fraud, and marry multiple people who each believe they are your only spouse.)

Whether polygamy should be recognized by the government is another question. It would be far more complicated for the government to recognize polygamy than it is for the government to recognize same-sex marriages. Like the existing form of recognized marriage, same sex marriage essentially involves an agreement between two people. Thus, the existing institution can simply be extended to same-sex couples. Arrangements among more people would not be simply analogous. It would be very difficult for the government to make an institution of all the different possible polyamorous ways of arranging a family.

In situations such as in Utah, where there is a sizable population living in a specific system of marriage, it might make sense for the state to recognize their marriages. It would make it possible to define and defend the rights of people within such marriages. For example, as it stands now, the first wife may be legally married to her spouse, while her sister wives are not. Subsequent wives are therefore not entitled to alimony if they leave their husbands, or to any portion of the family property, as they would be in a legally recognized marriage. Since in some cases they may not be equipped to provide for themselves if they leave, this effectively traps them.

It would also make the sister wives the next-of-kin to receive custody of children, in the event that both the husband and one of the wives should die. This way, the children are not separated from their siblings and remaining established parental figures as well as losing their natural parents.

Neither decriminalizing nor recognizing polygamy would compel anyone to engage in it who didn't want to. You would still be free to pursue monogamy. You not wanting to do something yourself is not really a good enough reason to send other people to jail for it.

Obviously, and as always, the bestiality comparison is so insulting as to hardly justify response. None of the people involved should be regarded as animals.

Incidentally, I am always amazed when people who are using the Bible as their basis to argue against homosexuality then go on to compare it to polygamy. Polygyny is rampant in the Bible. Clear monogamy, where it is clear that the husband has only one wife, is kind of rare in the Bible, actually. In Leviticus, it forbids taking your wife's sister as an additional wife while the wife is still living. Obviously, this means that you can take a second wife, if she is not your wife's sister. Very important and virtuous men have multiple wives in the Bible. To say that the Bible opposes polygyny is totally preposterous.

 

Personally, I don't care if someone marries multiple women or men, as long as everyone is in the marriage is okay with it.

It's their lives. Not mine. Why should I dictate what they do? :/ Personally, I couldn't have multiple husbands. Monogamous is the only way I can see my relationships being.

I've always wanted to see this show. I never get around to it.

 

Does anyone else find it completely ridiculous that this is illegal? What harm is being done here? I don't have a problem with polyamorous relationships; hell, I'd probably enter into one if I could pull it off.

 

I think it has more to do with the history of polygamy in america. It often was done with a deeply denegrating view of women, and most common in militantly patriarchal religious systems. Even today, most polygamist groups are in the 'women are objects to be bought and sold and owned like cattle" mentality. not all, but most polygamist relationships that you hear about now are deeply connected to cults also, and historical have been so in american history.

 

i think it also has something to do with preventing mis-use of legal polygamy for potential bypassing of tax laws.

 

i'm too oldschool for this..where is my rifle?