Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

technoddot · 23rd Sep 2011, 08:37 PM

I've been reading a book lately... "Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why: The Science of Sexual Orientation"

It's a good book. It looks at the scientific reasons for why people are gay or straight. Obviously, it all needs taken with a grain of salt as not a lot of it has been fully proven. But they have seen some evidence of hormone levels during prenatal development affecting the sexual orientation, for example. Or sizes of some structures of the brain are shown to be different. Or the functional differences between the brains, or how the body reacts to hormones, etc... It gives a lot of evidence, but not a lot of fully conclusive evidence for differences between gay and straight people. It's really an interesting read.

But, since I'm working on figuring out my own sexuality right now.. It leaves me with a general question, and I wanted to hear peoples thoughts on it:

What if I'm thinking I might be gay, but none of the possible traits (described above) actually apply to me? Would that mean I've sort of taught myself to get turned on by guys over the years?

Again, I'm just looking for thoughts and discussion on it. I'd also like to hear from people that have read this book to see what they thought of it.

Irate · 23rd Sep 2011, 08:56 PM

The word "gay" has a lot of cliches and stereotypes associated with it.

You do not have to fit these at all to be gay.

you are foremost yourself!

crazyhead · 23rd Sep 2011, 10:12 PM

Well you can't dissect your biological wiring and see if you qualify for the gay. It's just something you have to figure out. Even if you don't qualify for any of the biological prerequisites, it's perfectly reasonable to say that you've just got a biological cause that we haven't found yet.

Vladimir21 · 24th Sep 2011, 11:16 AM

Yes, I also believe that there is no defined set of homosexual traits where you qualify yourself for a position - after all, aren't we all different (even in the LGBT world) and that's what makes the world so wonderful, the diversity within it?

To give you one example, I used to try to prove to myself that I do not like men by looking at random faces on the street and deciding if I would kiss or be in a relation with any of these people, and as it was usually the case, none appealed to me and I would say to myself smiling "You see? None is cute etc etc so you like girls, yay". But the thing is, as I discovered later, I am a pretentious person when it comes to many things, including sexuality... so just because Mr. Right is not out there around the corner doesn't mean that I don't fancy men or that I'm not gay or bisexual, as I feel I actually am.

Kidd · 24th Sep 2011, 11:53 AM

If you are physically or romantically attracted to anyone of the same-sex you're gay/bisexual, period.

It's that simple, and everything else is individual.

technoddot · 25th Sep 2011, 09:35 PM

I'm going to school to be an engineer, so I tend to have a science-oriented mind. That said, I understand how this is all very difficult to really look at with science.

Like I said in my original post, I do take the book with a grain of salt... a lot of the studies mentioned in the book do no seem strong enough to me to really conclude anything.

For example... there was one part that talked about pointer finger to ring finger length ratio. It showed that on average, there was a difference in the ratio between gay/straight men and women. But, the ratios were not really all that different. On an individual level, measuring the ratio cannot deterministically place you into any of the categories.

It's that keyword "average" that really makes a lot of these studies useless practically. You can't measure any single person's fingers and be able to tell their sexual orientation, for instance.

Has anyone else read this book?

sanguine · 28th Sep 2011, 06:39 AM

yea ive also read up on books with similar reasons to why people are born gay also

theres another theory about the womb also, which see's the Y chromosome as foreign so the womb changes to suit 2 X chromosomes after the first child, usually why the younger sibling or child turns out to be bi/gay

and it sort of explains how having gay siblings is also common also, especially in succession because of the lack of hormones

23rd Sep 2011, 08:37 PM	#1
technoddot Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Probably gay Out Status: Four Friends Location: NE Ohio Posts: 41 Join Date: Jun 2011	Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why I've been reading a book lately... "Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why: The Science of Sexual Orientation" It's a good book. It looks at the scientific reasons for why people are gay or straight. Obviously, it all needs taken with a grain of salt as not a lot of it has been fully proven. But they have seen some evidence of hormone levels during prenatal development affecting the sexual orientation, for example. Or sizes of some structures of the brain are shown to be different. Or the functional differences between the brains, or how the body reacts to hormones, etc... It gives a lot of evidence, but not a lot of fully conclusive evidence for differences between gay and straight people. It's really an interesting read. But, since I'm working on figuring out my own sexuality right now.. It leaves me with a general question, and I wanted to hear peoples thoughts on it: What if I'm thinking I might be gay, but none of the possible traits (described above) actually apply to me? Would that mean I've sort of taught myself to get turned on by guys over the years? Again, I'm just looking for thoughts and discussion on it. I'd also like to hear from people that have read this book to see what they thought of it.

23rd Sep 2011, 08:56 PM	#2
Irate Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Location: Perth, Western Australia Posts: 22 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why The word "gay" has a lot of cliches and stereotypes associated with it. You do not have to fit these at all to be gay. you are foremost yourself!

23rd Sep 2011, 10:12 PM	#3
crazyhead flying away Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Texas Age: 22 Posts: 247 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why Well you can't dissect your biological wiring and see if you qualify for the gay. It's just something you have to figure out. Even if you don't qualify for any of the biological prerequisites, it's perfectly reasonable to say that you've just got a biological cause that we haven't found yet. __________________ "Dyin' is the day worth livin' for"

24th Sep 2011, 11:16 AM	#4
Vladimir21 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: no people yet...planning very soon Location: Glasgow, United Kingdom Posts: 13 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why Yes, I also believe that there is no defined set of homosexual traits where you qualify yourself for a position - after all, aren't we all different (even in the LGBT world) and that's what makes the world so wonderful, the diversity within it? To give you one example, I used to try to prove to myself that I do not like men by looking at random faces on the street and deciding if I would kiss or be in a relation with any of these people, and as it was usually the case, none appealed to me and I would say to myself smiling "You see? None is cute etc etc so you like girls, yay". But the thing is, as I discovered later, I am a pretentious person when it comes to many things, including sexuality... so just because Mr. Right is not out there around the corner doesn't mean that I don't fancy men or that I'm not gay or bisexual, as I feel I actually am.

24th Sep 2011, 11:53 AM	#5
Kidd You'll love me! Full Member Gender: ♂ Orientation: ♂ ♥ ♂ Out Status: Out Location: N.W. Ohio Age: 21 Posts: 1,430 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why If you are physically or romantically attracted to anyone of the same-sex you're gay/bisexual, period. It's that simple, and everything else is individual. __________________ I feel a hunger. Take my picture by the pool, because I'm the next big thing. Fingers crossed, my time is coming now...

25th Sep 2011, 09:35 PM	#6
technoddot Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Probably gay Out Status: Four Friends Location: NE Ohio Posts: 41 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why I'm going to school to be an engineer, so I tend to have a science-oriented mind. That said, I understand how this is all very difficult to really look at with science. Like I said in my original post, I do take the book with a grain of salt... a lot of the studies mentioned in the book do no seem strong enough to me to really conclude anything. For example... there was one part that talked about pointer finger to ring finger length ratio. It showed that on average, there was a difference in the ratio between gay/straight men and women. But, the ratios were not really all that different. On an individual level, measuring the ratio cannot deterministically place you into any of the categories. It's that keyword "average" that really makes a lot of these studies useless practically. You can't measure any single person's fingers and be able to tell their sexual orientation, for instance. Has anyone else read this book?

28th Sep 2011, 06:39 AM	#7
sanguine a cow Full Member Gender: cow Orientation: cows Out Status: i dont care Location: Sydney Australia Age: 18 Posts: 448 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why yea ive also read up on books with similar reasons to why people are born gay also theres another theory about the womb also, which see's the Y chromosome as foreign so the womb changes to suit 2 X chromosomes after the first child, usually why the younger sibling or child turns out to be bi/gay and it sort of explains how having gay siblings is also common also, especially in succession because of the lack of hormones