Writing le booky thing first chapters (thinking of giving up)

Tell me what you think of my collective grammatical errors, known as a book, thing.

CHAPTER 1

London, district 7. 19 PM. Date 17th of Gibshire, Year of the dog.

“Lucian Mont.” His eyes opened. The boat ride in had been long, he was surprised they let him sleep. Just before he could survey his surroundings he took a boot to the jaw. “Lucian Mont! You might want to pay attention; this is your big night after all!” Sweat and spit rained on the man on his knees holding his face with bound hands. Lucian looked up. “Fat, high class fuck” he thought bitterly. He had come to terms with his death 5 weeks prior, when he was given a date of execution, by the NESC: the New English Supreme Court. “More like the representatives of dictatorship.” He thought. He wanted to die by the hands of an unknown soul, one who he would not need to add to the list of those he hates. But no. He gets this. This large nosed, fat, spitty, Black Coat. The Black Coat or NECP (New England Civil Protection) Executioner looked down at Lucian like a stray dog. While keeping eye contact he pulled out a letter from his pocket. And read the following: “Lucian Mont. You are to be beheaded on the charges of Theft, Assault, Loitering and Reports of homosexual activity. You have no rights from here on fourth. You. Belong. To. The Crown.” “3456 A.D and its illegal to gay. Nice to see the U.N doing their part.” This gave Lucian another boot in the head. He was sworn at and spat on by the large crowd of people eager to see some fellow humans die, as he was dragged to the block. He was put next to a young woman, also due the same fate. She said “Close your eyes.” Lucian shook his head. He was done hiding. He wanted to see it coming. The girl sighed. Then she said “very well, you choose this, you could have not seen it.” Lucian was puzzled. “Shut up bitch!” A guard’s boot came speeding to her head. And stopped. Just an inch from her ear. Then the ankle twisted to the side. The man screamed. The girl laughed. Then the crowd screamed as the headman started to walk towards them. He was chanting in some language. And soon it stopped. All was silent except for a crying woman. Then the axe lifted. And dropped. On the guards foot. The girl stood and said to Lucian “You going to stay here and loose your ‘head or are ya going to follow me?” Lucian looked around him; everyone was on the ground, eyes black, and bodies shaking. Then he looked at the headman, they made eye contact. “w-w-itch cr-aft! You f-f-fucking wi-.” Then his eyes lost focus, he inhaled, deeply. He did not exhale. Lucian looked at his hands, his cuffs were turned off. He smiled. He looked at the Black Coat. He slowly stood up; rain poured on his face and created a waterfall of sorts down his hair. He picked up the now footless guards sword and walked towards the pitiful, large nosed man, who was struggling to stay on his feet. “You know what always made me laugh?” Lucian asked the man in a civil tone. “Irony, and what I’m about to do will be very, very ironic.” The Black Coat started to run black tears down his face. “ Hmm she did a real good job on you, whatever she did.” The Black Coat tried to speak but speech seemed to be difficult when your tongue is 2 times larger with swelling. “p-preeash, gnro!” That’s all he could say before Lucian completed his swing. He looked up to see the girl who saved him, almost with no expression she said “It is rude to keep a lady waiting.” Lucian smiled slightly and followed her down the black streets,

almost invisible by the rain.”

CHAPTER 2

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“So who are you?!” Lucian shouted through the storm. “I am a woman in a cloak!” She responded. “Ok then whats your name?!” The girl laughed “That’s better! My name is Lunarium Imperiti Nirvana! I will let you get away with calling me Luna!” They soon reached an old service tunnel. Long abandoned by the city workers. “So then Luna, why were you on the block?” Luna looked up at Lucian. “For using the old ways. Not having to believe in a god, being attracted to whoever you choose, using the metric system, using the A.D date rather than this year of the god damn fucking animals, being free and a-nd…” She broke down in tears. Lucian reached out to grab her shoulder, “Don’t.” She sobbed. She wiped her face with her dirty sleeve. “I’m sorry… It’s just that the world now… its so differ-“ Lucian stopped her. “It’s ok. No need to upset yourself.” Luna nodded. Lucian opened his mouth to speak, but Luna quickly threw her hand over it. “Shh.” She pulled out a small flintlock pistol from her sock. Lucian thought. Then he heard it. Footsteps. Luna aimed down the tunnel. A shadow emerged from the corner. It was a patient. (Victim of biological warfare). Then the stumbling woman emerged. Her face and legs were deformed. The symptoms of Small Pox bared her arm and her bare torso. “I’m sorry…” Luna whispered. The woman saw them, and sprinted at them. Her distorted mind craving for blood. Luna fired. The woman dropped. Luna sighed, then returned the weapon to her sock. Blood slowly crept toward the two “Don’t let that touch you. Unless you want to be one of them.” Luna said silently. He stepped carefully past the red stream and the dead woman, covering his mouth as he did. “You don’t need to do that, its not airborn.” Luna said “I know.” Lucian replied. An hour later they were at the abandond electrical transport cart system. Or the London underground as it was called prior to the war of 2412 A.D . Luna stepped on the track. And started humming. “What is that?” Lucian asked “What is what?” Luna replied. “That song.” Luna smiled.” The song is called Thankyou For The Venom, by a band called My Chemical Romance. It was made in the year 2004. A very old song. Actualy not considering music ceased to exist since to 2412 A.D . So I guess it’s just a sort of old song.” Lucian looked puzzled. “I will explain later.” She said. “Can I ask something?” Lucian asked “No.” Luna said with a smile on her face, giggling slightly “What did you do back in district 7?” Luna’s smile faded. “I was waiting for that… It was a form of magic… forbidden even before the war. It is very dark. The catholic church say it was made by Lucifer. How does it work? Picture a delicate leaf. Now imagine that from it’s roots and outwards it turns black and solid. That is what that magic does to the soul. It consumes it, until the evil is all that is left. It is what happened to me, but a monk from the northern mountans did something to me. And now my soul is not Black… but tainted. I am not as strong as I was. I can only use my power once a monthish. That is why I have a gun. Happy?” “I’m sorry…” Lucian said. “Don’t be.” They continued down the subway in silence. No more humming tonight.



CHAPTER 3

SYSTEM SHUTDOWN ACTIVE :

“well here we are, home sweet home.” Said Luna, obviously proud of her subtle abode. “hmmm? Yes very nice.” Said Lucian without much enthusiasm. Luna did not blame him, they had been walking underground for 8 hours now, it’s only natural that he be tired. “I think someone needs his beauty sleep.” She said in a stern voice, imitating a mother figure. Lucian rolled his eyes, clearly not amused. “I will assume you agree with me then?” Lucian yawned. “I will take that as a yes.” Lucian was led into an old subway train, it had been renovated into a home of sorts. He wondered how such a small lass got this place the way it is now. It had carpet, lighting, beds, a kitchen and more. It was literally a house. “How did you get this old train like this?” He asked “I didn’t. This was a first class train for the prime minister 30 years back. Fancy huh?” “Yeah fancy…” Lucian felt like an idiot. “you should get some sleep, We got a big day ahead.” Said Luna happily. “We do?” mumbled Lucian. “Yes, we do. Your cabin is two watchamecallits down.” Lucian nodded, he was surprised how fast this girl changes her mood. He walked to his cabin. He woke suddenly. He was falling to the floor, his mattress landed on top of him. He moved it to the side and saw a pair of feet. He looked up and saw Luna looking down at him. This was the first time he had seen her in the light. He was surprised how pretty she was. Which was a lot coming from someone who prefers men, he thought. Her hair was a bright white, bright pink. Her eyes were very faint blue, but more grey. Her lips were tiny, and her skin looked so soft. “You done staring? Shit, I thought I heard the black coat say you “Committed the horrible crime of homosexuality.” Looks like he was wrong.” She laughed. “Huh? No no he was right, you just… look, umm…” Lucian could not describe it. “I will take that as a compliment.” She said with a smile. “And that it was.” Said Lucian. It only just dwelled on him that she was basicly nude except for her underpants. “Umm your clothes?” He asked. “Gah, fuck! I am sooo fucking sorry! My mind… i-it forgets things like you know! I’ll be back!” Lucian was red as a tomato but giggling none the less. “breakfast is in the cabin you came into last night!” Luna shouted from a few carriges down. He walked into the kitchen, he could smell it… That beautiful smell. He did not know what it was. He saw some red strips of something on a plate. With some bread that looked all brown and golden. And there was a mug full of some strange black liquid. It smelled wonderful. Yet he decided to wait for Luna in case that black stuff was oil or something. After a few minutes Luna enters the kitchen cabin, fully dressed, In some very strange clothing. A pair of strange looking boots that were white with the writing Nike on them, a pair of blue work pants, only very tight. And a jacket that had a hood. “Sorry about waking you, I tried poking you but that achieved nothing. And sorry about the lack of clothing. My head is a bit in the clouds if you know what I mean. From the powers I received.” Lucian smiled and explained that it wasn’t a problem. Luna looked at the two sets of breakfast on the table. “Are you eating or would you rather catch some sewer rats for dinner?” Lucian looked at the food and asked “what is it?” Luna looked surprised for a second but then smiled. “That’s right, all Britan’s commoners consume now is some white glop, a piece of bread and a mug of water. Let me show you something called food. The red stuff is bacon, the brown stuff is toast and the black liquid is called coffee. Got it? Good.” Lucian slowly picked up the coffee mug, und took a tiny sip. His face scrunched up, coffee was horrible. It was bitter, and hot, but it smelled so good. It was odd. He set the mug down. Luna was giggling, most probably trying not to wet herself. “Ok coffee’s not your thing *giggle*, we might try tea next time aye?” She manages to say without laughing. “Tea?” Lucian asked. “I’ll explain later but for now try the bacon.” Lucian reached for the bacon far more hesitantly than the coffee. He expected the worst. He set it on his tonge and bit down, and chewed. His eyes bulged. This was the best thing he had ever tasted in his life. It was so warm, and flavorsom. It was amazing. “You likey?” Lucian stuffed more and more into his mouth, almost laughing. “I will assume that means yes.” Said Luna with an almost proud look. When Lucian finished eating, he asked Luna “where did you get that food?” “on this train.” She replied. Lucian look baffled. Like it was impossible for food like that to come along so easily. And in this day and age, it pretty much was.

CHAPTER 4

SYSTEM REBOOT: RUNNING GPS AND PLB SCANS: 38%

Lucian woke up. He was not on the floor with a mattress ontop of him to his surprise. He walked out into the kitchen cabin to find Luna standing there eating from a bag of somthing. She was now back in her dirty robe and hood. "whats with the clothes? You have clean ones." Lucian stated. "I dress for the occasion." Luna said, still eating. "And the occasion would be?" "Hunting." Luna said with a straight face. She put down her bag and walked into the other cabin. She emerged with a large round duffle bag. She dropped it on the table with a loud smack, and the muffled clatter of metal could be heard inside. Still chewing she walked to the kitchen and grabbed a box of some cereal, and threw it to Lucian. "Eat up, you'll need your strength." She said. Lucian caught it and started taking handfuls. He looked at the bag on the table, It looked well used and worn. "oh yea." said luna, who was distracted by a mark on the wall. She walked to the bag and opened it, out rolled two flintlock pistols, a short 3 round shotgun, 1 wheellock plasma rifle and a large aray of swords and knives. "Using the old ways was not the only reason the king wanted me dissposed of." said Luna, again looking at the mark on the wall. She looked at Lucian. "Pick your toy." She said "What game will we be playing?" Asked Lucian. Luna smiled and said "Cat and mouse." It was raining when they leftt the tunnels. But then again it always rained in London. Consealed in Luna's robe was a sword, two knives,1 pistol and a WPR (Wheellock Plasma Rifle). She was ready for anything. "So what are we doing?" Asked lucian, barely audiable through the downpour. "We are going to, "Convince" High Comishoner Flavious to step down from power." Lucian was puzzled for a second but then he understood what Luna had ment. "Do you have any idea how fucked we are if we get caught doing this?" Said Lucian in a hushed whisper. "Considering the fact that a cop can shoot you if you dont hear him and keep walking... The punishment for killing some rich person wont be horrifying." said Luna. Lucian nodded. They crossed into an alley, "Here." Said Luna, noting to the window. "It lines up ewith the mansion." Lucian looked round the corner and noticed the large estate. "Why would you make your house so obvious if you were so hated?" He asked. "It's a public curtian, though its obvious, it looks too heavy to lift. However if you pull the right strings the curtian will fall. Flavious just needs to keep the strings hidden, but i know how to slip backstage. The curtian is not a problem." Lucian nodded. Only understanding 80% of what she had just said. Luna sliped through the window, Lucian followed. The room they entered was dark, very dark. Sound was amplafied, they could hear him before he attacked. A guard was next to the window when they entered. They did not see him. Luna threw Lucian to the ground and ducked just before the guards gun fired. In the flash of a second Luna slid a knife from her sleeve and threw it at the attackers head. He ducked, and kicked her in the side. He put his boot on her throat, and pressed his rifle against her forhead. His finger tightend on the trigger. Then the room was lit up for a second with a blast of sound. Then for what seemed like an eternity of silence, the sound of the empty shell hit the cold floor. Blood covered Lunas face, as the guard fell to the ground. She looked over to Lucian who was sitting in the corner with gun in hand. Smoke still churned from the pistols barrel, and powder burns were slowly cooking the guards open throat. Blood circled around him. Luna coughed, "Thanks." she said. "anytime." Lucian laughed nervously.. They both stood up. "ok, follow me before they look for those gunshots." said Luna.

 

Thanks ^^