http://emptyclosets.com/forum/ Discussion forum for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) people to discuss coming out. en Tue, 21 May 2013 18:05:49 GMT vBulletin 60 http://emptyclosets.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://emptyclosets.com/forum/ http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/94991-playing-hard-get.html Tue, 21 May 2013 17:49:18 GMT So how many of you like playing "hard to get" or like when a potential partner plays hard to get?

I'm pretty flirty with those I'm close to but when it comes down to it, I'm pretty hard to get and I like partners who are as well, because then it becomes more fun and more of a hunt to win them over. ;D ]]> Chit Chat myheartincheck http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/94991-playing-hard-get.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-orientation-gender-identity-support/94990-weird-sex-dreams-making-me-question-my-gender-identity.html Tue, 21 May 2013 17:32:01 GMT HI All...:)
Thank you in advance for reading this thread because I really need help answering some questions..:)
Okay so here goes;
I'm a 16 year old teenage girl with raging hormones so I guess sex dreams are part of the deal right??But the thing is, my sex dreams range from arousing to 360° of weirdness (although I find these dreams strangely arousing as well..:p)Anyways, I'm way too shy to go into details, actually I feel purely uncomfortable talking about sex; but I desperately need advise........:help:
I'll skip right to the setting of my dreams, I've been having them for five consecutive nights now..Initially, the dream starts with me and my object of affection: Lets Call her S; engaging in very very steamy activities...But here's the weird part; in all those dreams, I'm A GUY!!!! As in a literal GUY: Complete with all the male genitalia....My dreams are so DAMN vivid and I wake up every morning drenched in sweat and craving for an ice cold shower....
Now here are my confusions: I know I'm a Lesbian who is head over heels in love with this Girl, S...But I have never seen myself as a Trans-sexual person..Could I be trans-sexual?? Cuz I have never been a typical girl: I always played with Hotwheels instead of barbies, I play Call of Duty and Arkham City on my X-Box all the time, I don't wear dresses or girly clothes or wear make up (I find the stuff disgusting to be honest)..Even my mom tells me that I walk, talk and (eat) like a guy....If I am ever so lucky to be in a relationship in the future, I would see myself being the dominant one, assuming the Alpha role in the relationship if you know what I mean..(Sorry if the "Alpha-dominant" comment offended anyone...)
My point is; I'm very confused.......and I now wonder whether GOD made a mistake with my gender( He's not supposed to make mistakes; but I like to believe that everything happens for a reason...:))...Am I really Trans-sexual?? Or does the fact that this girl, S, is straight have anything to do with it??? Or am I just a lame excuse for a Tom-Boy???
Sound of below and I appreciate all your advise...:) ]]> Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Support Trapped By Fear http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-orientation-gender-identity-support/94990-weird-sex-dreams-making-me-question-my-gender-identity.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/94989-i-had-best-laugh.html Tue, 21 May 2013 17:31:40 GMT So here's the deal, when in a discussion, read thoroughly the statements. :roflmao: so you won't get insulted even though you are not being insulted. Just thought I should share this, and I cannot provide a print screen picture on our conversation because he blocked me and I cannot see the conversation.

Yep, so I was talking to this guy on a certain phone app. when we suddenly dived in to the topic of sexuality and we came into an argument

His statement goes something like this,"Oh, that thing again. The real deal is you are still attracted to people of the same-sex regardless of their mental capacity. That's why it is called attraction because it is *helpless we cannot choose who we are attracted to." - prior to that, I said that I am sapiosexual(Although I am not. I don't know I said that I am sapiosexual).

::So here comes me writing and re-writing my message and re-checking my grammatical structure.

My response went something like,"Yes, that's true that attraction cannot be helped but in the case of people 'like me', it is a turn off if a person does possess a mental capacity and ability of a below-average human being." blahblahblah forgot the succeeding sentences* "there are a lot of reasons why there are many and much more complicated terms out there that (I forgot the word ARE here) used by every person to define their physical and emotional attraction towards a person maybe you could elaborate your stance on this argument and tell me where you are coming from."

While re-reading it again, I noticed that I lacked the word *are So I sent another message

"*ARE"

that is to correct my preceding statement that lacks the word *are*

Then he suddenly replied,"The real deal ARE?!" -- "You are hilarious!"

I continued blabbering about more terms and how he is ignorant and how he must research more about terms in order not to get lost in a conversation.

After that, I was waiting for his reply, he admitted to being shallow with his standpoint BUT his reply is followed by a,"You must not correct my incorrect grammar with an incorrect one."

And I here was like, wtf? When did I correct his grammar, and I realized that he thought I was correcting his first statement, which I am not. Then he blocked me without being able to defend my side of the story.


::Moral lesson: Read thoroughly the statement of the one you are talking to because you might create unnecessary dramas. :lol::lol:


Update: yup, he created another account with another fvcking picture and chatted to me, I asked him if it was he, he did not message me back. I am pretty sure it is him.

P.S: I do not have time to re-read my post here to correct any grammatical mistake. Sorry :)



:) ]]> Chit Chat NeonMan http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/94989-i-had-best-laugh.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/technology-gaming-soft-hardware/94988-xboxreveal.html Tue, 21 May 2013 17:28:00 GMT Thoughts on the new XBOX One? Thoughts on the new XBOX One? ]]> someonelost http://emptyclosets.com/forum/technology-gaming-soft-hardware/94988-xboxreveal.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/94987-touching-story-about-strong-young-man.html Tue, 21 May 2013 17:27:33 GMT I am forever touched by his story. I just saw this link on EC, thought I might just make a new thread about it. If only you had months to live...... I am forever touched by his story. I just saw this link on EC, thought I might just make a new thread about it.

If only you had months to live...
It seems like this would never happen to you and me... so far yet so close to us. We see ourselves as invincible, but fate is stronger than it seems to be. How would you live if you have death ahead of you? This video has changed my views in life, and how I see death. Zach has been the strongest person I've ever seen, as he can be so happy and peaceful. Not only he can face death with the happiest smile, he has also made people come together as one and live life with happiness.

Zach Sobiech has passed away yesterday, but his spirit and strength will be within us forever. My thoughts are with him, his family, his friends and everyone he influenced in his life.

Rest in Peace, Zac.

My Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech - YouTube

*This video made me laugh and cry* ]]> Chit Chat Perseus http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/94987-touching-story-about-strong-young-man.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-orientation-gender-identity-support/94986-what-my-orientation.html Tue, 21 May 2013 17:25:32 GMT I am a 21 year old female and ever since I can remember, I have had romantic and sexual feelings for women even before I knew I felt that way. I... I am a 21 year old female and ever since I can remember, I have had romantic and sexual feelings for women even before I knew I felt that way. I assumed that I must be a lesbian. However, I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be in a relationship with a woman. It does not interest me at all. When I think of my future, I see what I want in life and where I'll be, but being with a woman is not in the picture. I have held onto the lesbian identity for the past 4 1/2 years. However with me not wanting to date a woman or ever marry one, I have doubts that I'm actually a lesbian. Maybe I have just been confused.

Does it sound like I am really a lesbian or just confused? ]]> Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Support yellowsun http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-orientation-gender-identity-support/94986-what-my-orientation.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/welcome-lounge/94985-hello-everyone.html Tue, 21 May 2013 17:17:45 GMT Hi, I don't really know what I'm doing lol. I want to meet new people and be able to discuss things that I cannot elsewhere i guess. So i did some random searching and found this forum, thought I'd sign up and see what it's like.I'm more of a one on one kinda person so I'm not so sure how well I will take to forums, but I'm gonna try it out.

so a bit about me...I'm 28 and have been semi out for about 5 years. Over the last couple years I had some major life changes and have had to start a whole new life in a way. I'm currently back in school and working toward a degree in physics, though I've considered changing to general science. I think I would rather pursue a broader range of topics, It may better compliment my future ambitions.

Though I always had an attraction toward women I was in denial for several years of my life. I finally admitted to myself about 5 years ago how I feel and had officially come out to a friend I knew I could trust at the time. It wasn't easy to do at first but I'm so happy now that I didn't hold it back another day. Most everyone close to me knows now, but I do still hold some reserve. I'm a very personal kind of person. I keep a lot to myself because I have trouble getting too close to people. But when my trust is earned I feel I'm a good listener and a good friend, I'm very loyal, perhaps too loyal lol. I hope to meet some nice people here and hope I am welcome to this community :) ]]> The Welcome Lounge Trinitas http://emptyclosets.com/forum/welcome-lounge/94985-hello-everyone.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/94983-sexual-emotional-attraction-more-important.html Tue, 21 May 2013 16:54:29 GMT I'm a male, 20 yrs old and I have a question, which part of attraction, emotional or physical/sexual, is more important? Because I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual, but I'm a little bit more physically/sexually attracted to girls. I get a better "response." However, I feel with guys that there is less physical attraction, but a type of emotional bond, kind of like we're both guys and understand eachother. Thoughts? ]]> Anonymous Discussions Anonymous http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/94983-sexual-emotional-attraction-more-important.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/lgbt-later-life/94982-confused-mid-20-a.html Tue, 21 May 2013 16:53:06 GMT I am in my mid 20s and there are times that I am confused if I am a lesbian or not. (Sorry if my story is kinda jumpy, I am just throwing in... I am in my mid 20s and there are times that I am confused if I am a lesbian or not. (Sorry if my story is kinda jumpy, I am just throwing in everything that comes to my mind)

I was never in a relationship with either sex. However, I was close to starting out with a friend of same gender years ago. We were going out like normal friends till one day, we were in karaoke and it's cold. We hugged together and we both know its not just for warmth. But that is the most intimate we got. I admit when I was with her, I do like her and its not just how you will feel towards a friend. We never end up well in the end. She called me "disgusting" after that incident.

I was asked more than once by a few friends if I am a lesbian because I was pretty crazy over female celebrities instead of male. I do have male celebs that I like but I just don't share them as often and enthusiastic as female celebs. I tend to like the female celebs more easily and Sometimes I think it will be good to become friends with them (the female celebs I like) and become famous as them/sing as well or be as pretty.

I have had crushes on guys, but they don't last. And sometimes, I do feel close to my female friends and I am kinda afraid. I don't want to LOVE them or things might turn bad. But however, the feeling didn't last too; they usually come suddenly and goes away as sudden. To be honest, I don't want to be a lesbian. I don't hate them or what but I just want to be more normal.

I like being call pretty (I was hardly) or cute (almost never) .. however, I was usually called as cool and average. I am shy to strangers (both guy and girl) that people thinks I am unfriendly but I do tend to talk to girls more easily.

I check both guys and girls out. Well, I just look at beautiful things. But I don't fantasize with either. But I think I did dream of being close (more like friend and maybe a little more) with a female and dream that I start a family with a guy.

Anyway, I am just so confused, I took quiz online but they all said I am not lesbian ... but why am I confused? :confused: ]]> LGBT Later in Life craze http://emptyclosets.com/forum/lgbt-later-life/94982-confused-mid-20-a.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/94980-does-mean-anything.html Tue, 21 May 2013 16:43:43 GMT Some of you have said that I should make sure that my crush definitely likes me before I approach him, so there. Today, he walked past me and of... Some of you have said that I should make sure that my crush definitely likes me before I approach him, so there.

Today, he walked past me and of course, looked at me, and then of course, I looked away. But that's not the point. I've noticed that more and more often, he seems to be more and more content and fine with being around me. Like today he started hanging around with me kind of, or at least more than he usually does. And when I was walking back home, our friendship groups were walking next to each other, and I actually caught him glancing at me. And when he walked past me today he seemed to smile slightly. Not at me, just in-front of him, but that is a reasonable advancement.

I know it's not just being friendly, I know it. He means more that that, either he is interested in me, or just wants to talk to me and see how I am like, if you know what I mean. I know these two girls, I wouldn't say I'm friends with them, just acquaintances, and they say that they have talked to him, and that he is really friendly and generally a nice person. One of my friends actually said that me and him are suited for each other, and are right for each other.

My friends wouldn't just say that. I have a very deep feeling that things might work between us, and that maybe one day, we might just get together. Just knowing that he is a nice person and that I have been told that we are suited for each other has gave me a boost and inspiration to approach him, but once again I'm not making any promises.

So do you think that him hanging around closer to me that usual means anything, I think that it might.

Thanks in Advance! ]]> Family, Friends, and Relationships clarkec1 http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/94980-does-mean-anything.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/general-support-advice/94979-does-anyone-else-here-ever-feel-way.html Tue, 21 May 2013 16:12:02 GMT For any of you here who are exclusively homosexual, do you ever feel like it affects your entire life? I feel like it affects any friendships I make,... For any of you here who are exclusively homosexual, do you ever feel like it affects your entire life? I feel like it affects any friendships I make, my future, etc. I hate being a lesbian. I really despise it. It affects everything I do and everything I am. ]]> General Support and Advice yellowsun http://emptyclosets.com/forum/general-support-advice/94979-does-anyone-else-here-ever-feel-way.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/94978-when-where-place-you-realized-you-were-you-gay-lesbian.html Tue, 21 May 2013 16:11:09 GMT Well, it's the exact moment once you realized that your different that you really come to seeing that fabulous side of things for the 1st time ever! When did you realise that you're gay/lesbian? Age?! Place? Alone or public? And what was your reaction? Scared, fine or something like " ohhhhhhhhhhh now it makes sense!"? Ok, am guessing scared for all of us for sure, but you may have been ok!

Either way once you did realize, whatever you were doing, did you carry on?! Or did you need time to adjust and go somewhere private?!!

As for me it was actually once I was on hoilday!!! My reaction was : "Seriousy?! Am supposed to be freaking relaxing here!!!" But being truthful, for me it was a moment that suddenly clicked into place. It made sense. I mean, it was scary, but I also knew that I was going through a moment that everybody here comes to realize. I processed it at the very, very, very back of my mind. Being quiet while the beach helped to take my mind off the days that I came to know.

And I kept this at the very,very, very back of my mind for yet another 2 years. Being quiet while still having the full awareness of who I am. But I never did talk about it in my mind or to my self. But I eventually did to my Mum, and then to a very trustful friend. I was 13 at the time ; now am 15.

And the fact that just 1 big notice that can be kept so secret, a moment that would put me through my head over a crouse of being in a closet, a moment that in the end, Gives you the gift of accepting your self and being the person who's different, but unique, is freaking fab!!! ]]> Coming Out Advice Gay and proud http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/94978-when-where-place-you-realized-you-were-you-gay-lesbian.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/physical-sexual-health/94977-sexual-incompability.html Tue, 21 May 2013 15:42:22 GMT I have been in a relationship for about one year with a very good man. We are both in our 20s and we take good care of each other. We are now living... I have been in a relationship for about one year with a very good man. We are both in our 20s and we take good care of each other. We are now living together. There just seems to be a problem:

We seem to have sexual incompatibilities.

On the hierarchy of relationship needs for myself, sex is very low on the totem pole. But for him, it is very high. I don't think there's anything wrong with that....but together that poses for a problem.

I do enjoy getting physical...but not seemingly as much as he does. To add to it, he has a strong desire to Top and I simply just do not enjoy to Bottom. I have done it and have enjoyed it but generally speaking no. I just find it to be painful and stressful. It's a mix between physical pain and anxiety, I believe.

My boyfriend complains (not really complains but laments) that we don't have enough "sex". See, we get physical often, at least 3-4 x a week (usually). But it is foreplay usually. Sometimes we have intercourse, sometimes I top, sometimes he does. But when he does top, I seldom am able to hold out long enough to "let him finish". When that happens, I usually go as long as I can and then work other ways to get him to the peak to end the moment so everyone is happy.

I just simply feel that the lack of intercourse up to his needs is causing a problem in our relationship in other areas. He claims our relationship lacks intimacy. To him, it seems, intimacy is ultimately achieved through intercourse. I disagree. I believe we are intimate and on an intimate standpoint I am satisfied, even if NO physical actions take place. It doesn't help that I'm physically sensitive to the touch, including sensation and pain. I have a hard time receiving oral sex sometimes because of the intensity.

So...while I'm intimately and physically satisfied... he is suffering... and I see it causing problems. For me, I am feeling inadequate and it gets me emotional. For him, he feels unfulfilled. We love each other and we are working at it but it's really taking a toll on me emotionally. I don't want to lose out because of this......but sex is important...more so to him. He feels undesired and unattractive and no matter how many times I try to make him aware that's not the case it doesn't stick.

I try to be affectionate to show romance and closeness but then I feel guilty if I show affection and it doesn't lead to intercourse. Almost like teasing. But then when I don't do it he feels like he is missing affection or is unloved.

I'm really at a loss of what to do--I just want him to be happy but I can't subside the pain. I've tried different positions, lubes and everything...nothing thus far.

I don't know if I'm just venting or if there's anyone that has a story they can share to relate to.

I guess I should note I have a very low sex drive. It's not with HIM that I have a low one...I always have had one. He is VERY VERY sexy and I love to be romantic with him, physically or otherwise, but I just don't have the sex drive he does nor the sex drive most guys seem to.

Any advice or stories would be helpful. ]]> lucinordiche http://emptyclosets.com/forum/physical-sexual-health/94977-sexual-incompability.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/94976-whats-your-way-coping-stress-your-ways-motivating-yourself.html Tue, 21 May 2013 15:14:53 GMT Probably due to me having Asperger's Syndrome, I tend to overreact to pretty much anything, but exams are the one thing that I honestly am panicked most by. I try to deal with the stress by listening to music I like, which tends to calm me but which is still distracting.

I have a Criminal Law exam in 7 days, and I can't really motivate myself to study, I spend most of the time worrying over what I don't know. I try Recordings, but my voice comes out all weird and stuff so I avoid that. Given that I have an almost-eidetic memory, I usually get pretty good marks for studying a subject like the one I have, in a span of 6-8 hours only on the day before the exam, my senses start peaking at 5PM. I don't know why I get motivation just the day before, I want to start now whilst I have a few days. I even scored 71 in Roman Law last year because I was motivated to actually pass it, and I started studying the subject the day before.

Now I have several days before the first one, and my motivation is lacking. My head is crammed with a lot of nonsense, like Olyver's pubes in Game of Thrones, or The Walking Dead or something I read in the papers. Music is not motivating me, and I really can't think of anything, so I'd really like to hear your ways of coping with stress and how you motivate yourself:)

I know I sound completely bonkers, but try to be nice :thumbsup: ]]> Chit Chat Duwayne http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/94976-whats-your-way-coping-stress-your-ways-motivating-yourself.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/lgbt-later-life/94975-told-kids.html Tue, 21 May 2013 15:09:43 GMT I finally told both kids, daughter 22 and son 19. Son took it very calmly, no big deal, is very concerned about his mom, though also I think he's angry at me. Daughter wasn't so calm, very upset, not about me being gay, but that I didn't tell her mom or her until now, concerned about mom, about our house, about reactions in the community, she's very angry... it was exhausting. Both did say they love me and understand that I went through a lot of sh*t when I was younger that led me to this point, and I told them I did what I thought was right the entire time. But we're still in this awful place right now.

Regardless of these reactions, I have no doubt that I've made the right choice coming out now. It just sucks that we're all paying such a heavy price now. ]]> LGBT Later in Life EddyG http://emptyclosets.com/forum/lgbt-later-life/94975-told-kids.html