Okay, so I found this guy on a dating website. I find him insanely attractive and according to the site we had more than 90% in common with each other. We seem to have a lot of the same interests, and we've exchanged phone numbers/facebooks, etc. so we know each other is legit. We've been chatting through text a lot and I like this guy a lot already. The problem is, he lives about 2 hours away from me. Which probably doesn't seem like a huge deal to some people, but as someone who doesn't make a whole lot of money, it could become an issue to travel out to see him if in fact this does get taken to the next level. Also, we have different work schedules - he works on weekends while I have weekends off. So there wouldn't even really be a good time for either of us to meet or hang out or do anything, really. And I just started the job I have now which means I won't be able to really take any time off. So is this worth pursuing? It just sucks because based on our conversations, I feel like I could really like this guy. But I feel like there are too many factors that could cause problems and not necessarily make for a good relationship. Any advice?
I'm in the exact same position, granted we're both 16. He lives in Philly...I live like three hours away. We met a couple months back on ******, we've been chatting on Kik since then with a few rocky months here and there. But I've gotten past it because I really like this guy. My problem? He only talks through his iPod and he only has WiFi at his mom's house which he's only at every other weekday and every other weekend. He recently got a smartphone but wont download Kik on it because he's too afraid his friends might see it. He told me once he comes out to them he'll download it. Yeah...I've been trying to help him come out but he won't listen, I even tried sending him here. I think I may love the guy but he won't let things go further. I just say try and keep it going. If you both know you're legit and have a lot in common, just keep talking and eventually you two should be able to hang out.
Well that sounds like a rocky start, but like the saying goes "Easy come, easy go" Plus, this might give you both more incentive into putting more effort into the relationship. I say
if you like him this much already and he likes you, don't worry about the rest. enjoy each other and get to know one another as much as possible. even if things can't automatically go to anything romantic, keep him in your life as a good buddy and when opportunity arises to finally meet, take it! just don't stress so early over where it can go. just have fun because the beginning is always the most exciting :]
I mean for right now it's still in the early stages. But there definitely is potential there considering how much we have in common. I just don't know if I should bother getting my hopes up thinking this could work. We've only spoken through online messages and texts, and I have no idea when we would potentially be able to meet in person. Let me just say though that this guy is very attractive and likely has a ton of guys after him on this dating site we use. He says that he's not into flings or hook-ups though and is looking for something more meaningful, which is what I'm looking for too, but I can't help but feel like since we do live so far away, maybe he will go for someone else that's in a more convenient location. I will say though, that he was the first one to message me on the site. And he gave me his phone number first. So I guess that's a good sign. I'm just kind of paranoid, I guess, thinking that he'll just drop me for somebody else.
So I have a little update to this story. We had been talking a while through texts, but he always took a really long time to respond, like hours and hours every single time. Eventually I kind of took that to mean he was losing interest or whatever, but then he sent me a text saying how he's really bad about answering texts and always looks at his phone and forgets to respond. Which is weird...but whatever. Anyway, after a while had stopped texting, but then all of a sudden he sent me a text saying he was going to be in my area and he wanted to hang out with me. So I of course said yes. We had dinner and walked around a few stores, and I had a really really good time. I felt we connected so well and I felt so comfortable around him, I felt like I'd known him for years. Usually I clam up when meeting new people, especially on dates, but as soon as I met the guy in person I immediately felt comfortable. And I really got the impression he enjoyed hanging out with me too. So we left off saying we'd keep in touch or whatever. Later that day I sent him a text saying how much fun I had, and that we should hang out again soon. I suggested next time we hang out in this town that's sort of in between where we both live so it won't be so far of a drive for either of us. The thing is though, now he's going back to doing that thing where he never answers texts. He still hasn't given me a response to my question... I asked him a follow-up several hours later asking him if he'd seen my last text, and all he did was say he's been having a busy day but didn't even answer the question. And not to sound stalkerish or anything but since I've sent him the text I've seen him post stuff on facebook via his phone, so it's not like he hasn't seen it.. I just get the impression he's choosing not to respond to it. So am I overreacting here? It just frustrates me that we seemed to have such a good time together and we both seemed interested in each other, but then as soon as we left each other it's like he's almost completely stopped communicating with me again. I'm just confused.
You know, I would like to say that I'm one of those people who doesn't respond very well to messages from other people. I might see it and they might get a response from me in an hour, few hours, a day or two, or maybe even never. It depends on what's going on in my life at the moment and how I'm feeling. I'm a terrible person, I know So your guy might be the same as me. He did tell you that he has a tendency to forget to respond to messages, so at least he's being consistent.... I would probably suggest that you stop initiating and let him do it instead. If he likes you, he'll notice that your texts stopped and will contact you. In the meanwhile, keep your options open
Thanks for the advice! I just feel like if he was interested in me, would he really take that long to respond? I dunno, I guess everyone is different, but for me, as soon as I see a text I will respond to it, especially if it's from someone I might be interested in. Except now anytime I get a text from him I'll purposely wait a while to respond just to give him a taste of his own medicine. It just seemed strange to me that he would have time to do facebook and stuff on his phone but not respond to me. Which gave me the impression maybe he's not that interested. Although it's weird because it really seemed like he was at least somewhat interested when we hung out. But yeah, I guess for now I'm going to stop pestering him with texts. It's gonna be hard though, because I do really like this guy.
OMG. I'm in a very similar situation. I met a guy off of ****** (yeah, Ik..not a great place to meet guys). Anyways, he was visiting from Indiana, and we talked and decided to hangout, so we did. For three days we spent time getting to know each other, talking. Then, he went back. But he promised to keep in touch and visit soon. I would wait for him to text to no avail :/. At that point, I texted him, and he'd reply but soon after our conversations would stop (because he'd stop replying). He does text me sometimes, but ultimately stops replying. I get that he's 25, so he has his own life, but if you like someone, won't you want to talk to them? Anyways, sorry for the long story but I was so happy to know I wasn't the only one waiting around for some guy far away :/. As for what you should do, I decided to just move on. If he wants to be friends, then great. But I'm not expecting much more. I learned that long distance relationships suck because life moves on, and you both end up doing your own thing. It really sucks, but some people make it work. I, however, think you shouldn't get too attached, or it'll be harder to move on. Good luck!
Thanks for the advice man! And it's a little more comforting to hear someone in a similar position. What sucks about the whole thing is that he's the one who found me through this website, he gave me his number, which really gave me the impression he was interested. And then he's the one who wanted to hang out with me because he was stopping through my town. I mean all these things kind of indicate I guess that he's interested but the fact that he hardly communicates with me makes me feel like he's not. And I don't want keep pestering him with texts because I don't want to annoy him or act too clingy or whatever, but at the same time like I just want to know if he's interested or not. Well anyway, he did send me a text back today in response to me asking if he wanted to hang out again, I had said stuff like "I had a lot of fun with you" and "I really want to see you again", and he responded with something like "yeah maybe we can try to arrange that" which doesn't seem all that enthusiastic of an answer compared to mine lol, but I dunno maybe that's just me overthinking things. I guess at this point at least he's at least somewhat up for the idea of hanging out again but I'm not going to keep pushing it anymore. If he really is interested then I guess he'll let me know when he feels like hanging out. I mean, after all he was the one who suddenly had asked me to hang out for our first date. It's just a little painful to play this waiting game because I do really like him, even after only one date. :\
No problem! I totally understand! Yeah, my guy also was the one to initiate the conversation and ask to meet up :/. He also claims to want to hangout again, but who knows haha. It's so weird that we're in such similar situations! Good luck though c:
