Smothered

Okay so this is going to be a bt of a rant but I figure that's okay.

My parents are becoming intolerable. I know I have it a lot easier than many but my parents are being way to controling. Does anyone else feel completely helpless in their choices? Because I do. I feel like I have no say in this house and as I get older it gets worse. I'm expected to be the good girl with lots of responsibilities and no freedom. I'm probably going to be posting a lot less in the next little while because my parents just cut off internet in my room after "bed time". I feel like I'm 6.

I'm told I'm trusted and that they respect me but I feel like they trust and respect what they want of me, not me. I am never allowed to make a decision without their imput and I am never give a chance to make my own mistakes. I can't even get my hair cut the way I want because I know that my mother would flat out deny it. If I screw up then I get a 30min long lecture, at least, and most of my privileges revoked for an indefinite amount of time spanning from a day to a month or more. That means that I never know when I'm done being punished so if I think I'm good too early I get in more trouble. My mother still thinks that I am her doll to dress up when I actually have my own style and personality that I want to express. She doesn't understand that it is really unpleasant for me to have my hair done or why I want long bangs that may get in my eyes once and awhile.

It hurts when they mock my interests, even if it is their opinion, or they are doing it in "fun". It also hurts when they make fun of the things I would like to do but am not allowed to because they think I'm not old enough or because "they arent ready", to put it in terms they recently used. If they trust and respect me so much why can't I have a LITTLE more freedom? Also the fact that I still have to run most everything past them before I do anything for fear of getting in shit is ridiculous.

Right now it is so bad that I want to move away, far away, right after highschool. I feel like I'm naive and sheltered and trapped in bubble wrap.The fact that I am this mad is very unusual because I know they mean well; but after 17 years of being what my parents want me to be, I'm fed up. I don't know what to because I DO respect my parents very much. I can have a very good relationship with them and I do but I feel smothered and powerless. Honestly it was so bad last night that I ended up crying before I fell asleep because I felt so out of control of my own life.

I just feel like I NEED to have some say or I'm going to implode, and that's not a pretty sight.
Advice and/or sym/empathy are appreciated

 

I'll try

I will try talking to them, it's not like I have a bad relationship I just feel like I'm 6 sometimes instead of 17. *sigh* I'm still upset but I'm a lot calmer now then I was the other day posting this. Maybe tomorrow. Probably not but it's a good goal :lol::icon_wink Also I am planning on going far away. I feel like that reset button is what I really need/want right now.

Thanx guys for responding (*hug*)