It may be naïve of me to ask this, but do people really fight with each other all the time when they're in a relationship? I can't say that I've ever really been in a real relationship, so I wouldn't know, but whenever I look at my parent's or friend's relationships, it just seems like they're fighting 24/7. Is it really like that for every relationship? Constant bickering and arguing?
In both of my relationships, that has never happened. It depends on the individuals involved and their chemistry together as well as external factors.
My partner and I have been together 16 yrs and I'm not sure i would need the fingers of both hands to count the number of fights we've had. We can go literally years at a time without a fight. We do sometimes get on each others nerves, sometimes to the point of showing annoyance or getting PO'd with the other. But those are brief events and might happen a few times a year,at most. We both just seem to nearly always get along. Todd
Todd, That's really cool to hear, thanks for sharing and telling others that it really "can" be that good.
Healthy relationships will always have disagreements. The issue is how those relationships are mediated and resolved. Couples with good communication skills, competence in vulnerability and authenticity, and reasonable self esteem know how to discuss even difficult topics in a way that is mutually respectful, so the disagreements can be resolved by the two parties listening to each other's viewpoints and finding a mutually acceptable compromise. Unfortunately, many people don't develop those skills normally, because they haven't been modeled by parents. In those cases, usually one has to work at understanding and practicing healthy communications. And self esteem plays a huge role as well, because someone who is uncomfortable or insecure with him or herself is going to have a hard time taking criticism or input with an open mind, or is simply going to let criticism fuel even lower self-esteem. And, needless to say, both parties have to be willing to listen and communicate respectfully in order for real communication to happen. So all the pieces fit together and have to be addressed together in order for healthy communication to happen.
Me and my partner, who I live with, 'argue' around 5-6 days out of 7. But its always about small petty things... mostly misunderstandings or just because one of us is in a bad or annoying mood. We get over it almost instantly and move on, every time. Its worth it. And, actually, it barely bothers me at all. Its normal.
I understand what you mean, I have plenty of friends...well ex friends, that fought with their partners ALL the time. I also have friends that don't, or at least have the common curtisty to not do it right in front of everyone. So, I'd say no not all relationships are like that
I think every relationship is different. Every person has a different temper and different things that tick them off. Every couple is going to disagree on some things, that's just part of being in a relationship. Sometimes, different temperaments don't mesh though and that's how you get couples that really fight in the sense of screaming and throwing things. That's not healthy.
It always depends on the people. Sometimes two people that think they want to be together, are the worst things for eachother. I was in a relationship for 2 and a half years, that everyday was constant screaming, yelling, and crying. But i was afraid to give that up, because i was afraid of being alone. But i realized that being alone would be better than being upset and worked up all the time. I moved on. Now i am in an amazing relationship. We are happy. We have disagreements but i can honestly say we have not had an actual FIGHT. Relationships can be one of the most amazing parts of life, if it is with the right person. I know i wouldn't trade my girlfriend for the world. She makes me laugh like crazy, we tease eachother, we go out on dates, we sit at home and watch movies, we can just lay in bed and talk for hours on end. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I understand how it is to see a lot of bad relationships around you though, don't let that scare you away from relationships though! not every relationship will work, but when you find the one that does work out, it will be worth all the ones that didn't workout.
I know how you feel, I've had many friends in relationships that never looked good, and I always questioned why they'd stay! And my parents have a rocky relationship, and after awhile, it does wear on you where it doesn't seem like a relationship will ever be ok. I know all relationships are not like that, and not to sound bad about people, but from my experience, relationships built on children seem to have quite a few more problems! I hope that's not too much of a generalization, just my experience! I hope whatever relationship you do get into works out well!
most people argue over silly things that don't mean anything on a daily basis and quickly get over it. an occasional big fight is normal and healthy. as much as you can be just like someone or get along with someone, they aren't genetically wired with the same mindset as you so fights are going to happen. but personally i just think people enjoy bitching/venting to friends about fights. rather than letting you know all the positive things about the relationship. which is the reason why people stay with their significant others and their friends cluelessly wonder why.
It depends. Some couples fight allot while others don't. It ties in with personality too. It's healthy to have disagreements but bad when they become violent/emotionally abusive. My bf and I have fights (verbal) allot recently but we always make up and make each other feel better in the end. Better than bottling feelings... Just do it in a healthy way.
